~MI..mI..n mORe`mI~

2005-06-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

HmMz.. i had maths tuition until 10pm todae ya noe.. LOLZ.. n the maths teacher helped wif mi dat supp. ws.. which i completed one pg.. HAz.. wif his anihow toking den i continued the rest on mi own.. i tink i'm smart larhz.. HAz.. i tink algebra is super fun.. wen u r gd at it.. u r simply superb at it.. n no matter wad question Ms Seow tries to throw at u.. u can answ it immediately yea.. but if u suk at it... hmmz.. i tink one ques oso carn do.. i was once dat algeblur person but but practice makes perfect yea?
N i totally give up on Diary-x n Livejournal.. i carn set up an acc. yea? as in i haf loads of prob wif the template n locking it wif a passie.. n the worst thing dey don haf the function of recovering posts.. so wen an entry goes.. WHOOSH wif the wind.. u carn get it baq.. haz..
HaZ.. i tink mi chinese is getting gone case.. i carn unds dat jia qi du wu.. i read le... the nxt dae i start all over again.. coz i carn unds it.. n i realise dat i onli unds wad dey r saeing by reading on the 3rd attempt.. O NO.. haz.. dat means i muz take 3times the amt of time to read.. n i tink i read twice as slow compared to how others read.. AIYAZ... wad to do.. wen i wanna prove to Li Lao shi dat SU XIN HUI can GET AN A1 IN CHINESE.. HAz.. =))
n SEL is daoing mi.. HEHS.. or izzit she carn c mi conversation window.. LOLZ
n i tink mon tuition rox heavens.. coz dere r victoria school shuai ges for mi go gaga at.. lolz.. nah larhz.. onli one looks charming but nt shuai.. aiyaz.. y r dere unshuai ges hu can charm gals.. -_-'
N n n.. i made a vow to lose 5 kg by the end of July.. i'm cheating.. coz i noe i will put on bout 5kilos by the end of jun.. so as long as i gain a kg... n lose 1 at the same time.. i still lose 5 kg marhz.. i'm a cheater.. coz i eat a lot wen deres no sch.. HAz.. carn blame mi.. delicacies r totally yummy n irresistable.. n i seriously tink mi auntie cooks gr8 spaghetti.. LOLZ.. its reallie yummy.. slupish.. n irresistable kaes! HAz..
n deres class outing on wed.. yea.. i tink its more of a clique outing to mi.. mayb dey shld cum up wif a better idea den watching a movie.. u shld noe wad will happen
" i wan to wathc monster in law"
" i wanna watch star-wards"
"but i tink Mr n Mrs Smith is better"
"NIA.. i tink the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy is the BEZ"
haz... dis is wad dat will happen if all 36 of us turn up.. but looks like barely 10 will turn up nw.. coz i went to psycho xr into nt going.. LOLZ.. i'm evil.. den junya din wan to go oso.. LOLZ.. so wen sumbody asked mi. i said mi n blar blar nt gonig.. den dat persno was influenced.. so dat person passed it on.. n BLAR..
but i tink the BBQ will b a success ymy.. juz dat i muz leave early for tuition... HAz.. better still.. eat lesser.. will nt put on so much weight.. i juz enjoy the process of buying food n bbqing.. HAz... hope cynthia ping ping will cum along wif us.. to provide us wif the $$$$.. HAz...
Yea.. off to bed i am.. i tink i carn slp in mi sis room.. i suffer frm insomnia.. n i get super sleepy the nxt morning.. Aiyaz. hurry hurry.. i wanna move house le.. HAz.. nitez =)

2005-06-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

Another meaningful dae.. did volunteer work at Downtown East Bowling Alley.. n we were given 3 free games.. yeah.. nubbad larhz... juz played n played.. did sum super sparstic n stupid things.. by stepping into dat super slippering area n pushing the ball in.. or sitting behind it.. n pushing the ball in..
Aiyaz.. i suddenly no mood to tok bout anithing.. i'm feeling bad nw.. i juz kinda ticked Dickson off... i carn control mi feelings nowadays manz.. n i dunno watta sae nw.. i tink aik siong is rite bax.. i shld learn how to restrain mi feeilngs.. dats y i alwaes haf dis feeilng dat mi relationships nxt term will b full of prob n obstacles.. coz a person like mi.. dunno wad i'm doing.. alwaes letting mi emotions getting the better of miselves.. i dunno wad i'm doing every nite? soaking miself in tears.. waa.. i almost ticked Zuxin off as well.. it was reallie almost.. i tink i getting veir guo fen larhz.. sumhow..
i haf super complicated feeilngs nw kaes.. its like dry n tangled hair.. or jumbled up together.. n u carn seem to like u noe untie n unknot it.. u noe dat super guilty feeling.. dat u r treating the whole world liddat.. for no particular reason.. wen no1 ever offended u.. did sumthign nasty to u.. n u r reacting like its the end of the world...
i reallie feel like shutting off frm the whole world.. pressing dat x at the top right hand corner of every conversation window.. going to slp nw.. n slp.. aiyaz.. dunno larhz.. mi mum reallie.. make mi veir veri buay tahan sumtimes.. still toking bout guys.. she tinks dat i'm steading.. even mi mum doesn trust mi.. u noe the word trust.. how much it means to mi.. to gain pple's trust.. n even mi mum doesn trust mi.. i carn trust ani1 as much.. i'm practically left wif nth.. i swear.. so wad if i haf frnez.. can dey b dere for mi wen i reallie nid dem? snrs leaving.. almsot everything left is gone.. it's alwaes dat heart-wrecking.. saw dat frenster pic. yesterdae.. mi heart totally shattered.. i juz stared n stared at it.
so mani things............. dat makes mi ponders.......................... wonder....................... i dunno.. if onli things cld b dat wae.. alwae remain liddat....................
or mayb we cld 4eva turn baq the clocks.........
bring baq dose happi moments..
if onli..............

2005-06-03T03:46:00.000-07:00

Woke up real early todae.. for CIP.. coz Mr Jing Hui was desperately in need of pple to go to Downtown East Bowling Alley to assist the Special Olympics of the MINDS n Towner Garden Kids.. frm all over the world...n seriously.. i felt dat it was super meaningful.. so i agreed at ard 11plus laz nite.. LOLZ.. n Ms Xiurong came online at ard 11plus as well.. so i asked her to pei wo go for it.. well mi mum doesn even noe wad is CIP.. i reallie tinks she noes mi blog le.. for all i care.. i shall go create diary-x... lock all mi entries.. put mi passie in mi msn nick.. HAz..
CIP was slack yet reallie fun.. Mi n Xr had a reallie gr8 time chatting.. having breakfast at burger king.. LOLZ.. den went to the cafe to do hmk.. i completed mi cheng yu chao xie in 3 hrs k.. nubbad le ymy.. coz i was juz sitting dere for 20mins donig mi work.. den Yiting mdm suddenly popped out of nowhere.. n shes reallie super duper chio.. n she sat at the table nxt to mi.. she said hi to mi lerhz.. LOLZ... i tink she misses Sec. 1 Sqd.. HAz... den i juz continued doing.. n at ard 5pm.. mi damn mother called.. seriously.. i was super pissed juz nw.. she was asking.. y pple go home u dowan to go home.. hu r u wif nw? how cum i hear a guy's voice.. she asked mi dese few questions bout 10 times in less den 3mins.. n i was reallie alone K! wa piangs.. shes totally the most unreasonable.. doubtful.. suspicious woman i haf even seen k.. walaoz eh lorhz.. i realie buay tahan her dat i feel like throwing off mi fone down to the escalator immediately. .den she said.. the cafe is a junk place kaes.. i want u to go home immediately.. den walaoz eh.. din even sae bye den hung up the fone.. FINE.. i listen lorhz.. n she was screaming into the fone.. her voice was like super blardy chao ji wu di loud.. den later she called mi again.. in less den 1min.. n asked.. where r u nw.. den i said.. walking out of White Sands.. den she said bb.. u noe wad i did.. i hugn up the fone on her.. tell u kaes.. i tink she getting super overboard..
JUZ get it clear manz.. no 1 can control mi.. i do wad i like.. u wanna gain control of mi.. u wait till i die.. u can do anithing wif mi ashes.. as long as i'm alive... i will nt allow ani1 to gain control of mi..nt as if i did sumthing against the law.. well.. she asked for the CIP's teacher in charge n i tink she called Ms Christine Tan to check up on mi.. she super guo fen larhz.. wen i went for camp.. she rummaged for mi hp.. on it wifout mi permission.. look thru mi over 100 messages... n saved all mi contacts into her hp.. n she gt Ms Yeo's no. wifout mi knowing lorhz.. GUO FEN LIKE HELL KAES... n if i wanna stead it's none of ur business.. the more u don trust mi the more i will rebel.. i din even do anithing wrong in the fers place kaes.. i'm nt steading.. y do u alwaes like to sae.. how cum i hear a guy's voice in the baqgrd for a million times.. walaoz.. now i noe how impt TRUST is in ani kind of relationship kaes.. walaoz.. i haf been tolerating n tolerating.. nderes a limit to mi tolerance kaes.. u tink i'm a pushover.. tink u so big or wad.. wa piangs. .so free kip checking up on mi.. u don trust mi dats ur prob.. pls. lorhz..
N I SWEAR.. I HATE PPLE HU DON TRUST MI.. DOUBT MI ABILITIES.. u can forget bout being mi fren.. even noeing mi kaes.. i'm totally PUT OFF juz nw.. n fortunately.. i nver get angry more den 30mins unless u go super overboard.. but still i'm still put off larhz.. seriously...
yea.. i was super freaked out juz nw at the bowling alley.. coz i was toking wif Xr.. toking veir happily.. den a guy was walking past us a few times.. den i juz din take much notice.. den he suddenly sit bside us n ask if we ate lunch le.. n dunno y.. i felt veri uncomfortable.. so we hurry up ans den i stood up n xr follow stand up.. den later wen we were abt to walk awae.. den he pointed at mi.. den ask mi to sit down.. den i was like.. i dowan to sti down of course.. den he kept asking for mi hp no. saying dat it was for the bowling competition tomoro. .den i told him i don blong to MINDS but a volunteer.. den Xr kept telling him dat.. den he dowan to give up.. so i was freaked out... n hurry up ran awae pulling Xr awae.. den walaoz.. alter i saw him again.. i freaked out again.. i hurry up hide.. n squatted down.. den later i crawled thru the crowd kaes.. so pathetic... but dat guy reallie scary larhz.. Xr oso scared lorhz... den later in the conference room.. a cockroach was crawling at high speed towards Xr direction.. den we freaked out again.. den we ran outta the room quickly.. LOLZ.. realli veri stupid of us.. budden.. the cockroach was HUGE.. ENONORMOUS.. GIGANTIC.. scary arh.. n the feelers reminded mi of Jasmine Sim's hair.. LOLZ.. haz.. n i realised how much hmk we haf.. yeah kaes..
so
TRUST IS DAT IMPT IN A RELATIONSHIP..
haz..
so no matter wad..
trust every1 ard u bax..
if its possible
coz i tink suspicious doubtful n distrusting pple r reallie veri detestable..
n i swear..
i gonna get a Diary-x acc.. ASAP.. haz.. =)

2005-06-02T07:17:00.001-07:00

seriously.. to b honest..i feel quite terrible nw larhz... i suffering dunno wadever blues larhz.. out of a sudden i feel empty.. the feeling like i haf been raped of mi soul.. mi heart has been exterminated.. n i'm almost worse den dying.. u noe.. the feeling wen u r left wif practically nth.. dat ur life is juz totally meaningless.. n dat it doesn make a difference to the world.. wif onli an extra mouth to feed.. wasting the world's natural resources.. n wadsoever larhz.. lost again sum stuff in life.. y muz we lose dese pple in our life.. y do we nid new ones.. yea.. i seem so whiney.. so childish.. so wad if dey will alwaes remain in our hearts.. can we get baq the drill sessions we used to haf.. the PT sessions we used to haf.. i feel veri lonely all of a sudden.. seriously.. times seems to haf left us bhind.. remember the fers Sqd N i gt to noe was Xiangqi mdm.. she was reallie super nice n thou shes super quiet.. i still tink she loves us a lot... n since laz yr.. wen we visited the supreme court.. i decided dat Jiaming sir was going to b mi favourite snr.. n Xiangqi mdm mi fave mdm.. n qiwen sir was the one hu taught us moral values in life... yongzhang sir was the one hu cared for us dat much.. dat often hu did nt show it so obviously... n of course shuqi mdm hu was alwaes dat considerate n totful towards us.. all of dem touched n cared for us in their different waes but dey all haf sumthing in common.. dey loves us.. no matter how much we hurt dem by disappointing dem wif our lacklustre drill performance.. dey nver gave up on us.. n wen dey punished us.. we may nver noe.. like wad Quanrui sir said.. dey might b crying bhind our baq... everytime dey punished us.. no matter wad we did.. dey forgave us...
i dunno..
i reallie dunno.
i seriously feel empty
dat lonely feeling..
dat i carn fathom..
waa.. i reallie dunno wad is happening larhz.. i juz feel confused.. n i'm sleeping all dae.. slacking thruout everything... i reallie dunno wad is happening

2005-06-01T21:42:00.001-07:00

hmmz.. went for SC camp.. n TC in dese 3 daes.... SC camp was sianz larhz.. seriously... nth veri meaningful bout it to mi.. coz i din spend time wif the pri sch kids but found out sum stupid stuff which made mi rather upset... shall sae it here since i don tink i did anithing wrong in the fers place...
as mi SC sec. 3 snrs.. i tink u all shld juz tink of better waes to gain the teacher's trust den to push all the blame to mi... wad do u mean by u all feel threatened n Ms Yeo tells mi everything but nt u all.. she tells mi everything coz shes mi form teacher.. n i c her practicallhy everydae.. wells.. to u all too.. i dun noe wad u all mean by i'm climbing the ladder veri fast.. u all juz stop all dat stupid crap k.. it's nt mi fault if u all r nt given a chance to do anithing for SC.. aniwae.. i tink all of u r more den glad bax to b able to slack.. i noe among us.. dere r pple hu join for CCA points. but get it clear.. if u wanna join sumthing.. commit urself to the fullest.. be a somebody.. or else.. don join.. rather den b a stupid slacker rotting over dere.. wen ur presence doesn make a difference to SC kaes..
actly on the fers dae was brooding over dat stupid thing.. was wif Le-anne most of the time.. was in the control room most of hte time.. coz seriously.. lectures nth much to do.. den 2nd dae... waa.. lectures was flop for mi.. coz i din manage to sae anithign dat made sense... i was supposed to do debriefing for all the games.. den i was like.. toking nonsense.. but nvm nvm.. i oso din reallie xpect things to b liddat..
Den later in the afternoon.. dis guy called WenXiang.. u noe the Dunmanian award winner.. he went to VJC... yea? n later toked to him bout lots of stuff.. din noe him in the fers place.. but he enlightened mi.. seriously.. i tink snrs r reallie the ones hu make a diff to our lives bax.. told mi a lotta stuf.. bout VJC.. y he din wan to do anithing for VJC coz he din like VJC.. n his experiences in life... HAz.. veri philosophical

Kaes.. shall tok bout the saddest stuff which is bout to happen.. ARGHhh.. yesterdae.. was the laz training activity we had wif out NCOs... PT was quite slack but dunno y feel like fainting coz can c stars dat i couldn push miself up.. wen i was doign situps. STUPID ritez.. i dunno wad i doing lorhz.. it was like.. i felt like closing mi eyes.. wen the sun was glaring rite into mi eyes.. aiyaz.. dunno larhz.. i juz seemed stupid.. o yea.. mi.. jieying..liyan..jingxuan..wenkai..sihong..waixiang.. n a few more guys.. we din bring NP text.. so we were punished by Yuelin sir to memorise the 10codes of NPCC... i tink we reallie deserve it ymy.. we r so damn blardy qian bian.. budden i reallie din mean to forget to bring the NP textbk.. coz i din go home the dae b4 TC.. n i predicted dat surely in mi bag.. gt sumthing forget to put inside.. ARGH.. but nvm.. den aiyaz.. we had lectures.. seriously.. i was falling asleep.. but i understood most of the stuff bax.. mi geog got A de lorhz.. juz dat i need a memory refresh.. HaZ... yea.. so blar blar blar blar... yea... drilling we learn dat reallie super seh command.. den we were doing it like so mani tiems but enjoyed it a lot.. n shuqi mdm was telling mi to do hentak kaki everytime i reach the point early.. but i was like to wait n bang.. shit rite..den later i managed to do dat.. den dunno wad.. qiwen sir was like telling mi to bang slowly or wadsoever.. haz.. den i reallie veri qian bian.. coz i was like in wrong position.. den kip affecting the whole sqd's dressing.. alwaes one lorhz.. coz i kip forgetting botu dressing.. yea.. den was quite sad larhz..
interaactive session.. i realised dat Shuqi mdm was crying... den later c her in the canteen.. her eyes red again.. Omy..
seriously.. everything seems to haf happened yesterdae onli... n i carn bliff the nxt POPis cuming.. argh... it seems like onli yesterdae we were born.. n todae we grew up... n the nxt moment.. we r going to b trainign sqd... aiyaz.. dunno bax.. i tink muz thank dem for doing so much for us.. lecturing us.. caring for us.. teaching us.. scolding us.. all dese were for our own good.. i itnk we grew up during our golden yrs coz of dem bax.. our potential was maximised.. i still remembered wen dey fers came n wanted us to do 60+++ situps.. pumpings.. n we were all shocked n tot dat dey were crazy coz the sec. 1 Sqd Ns onli maximum wanted us to do 20 20 20.. but todae we realised dat all dese were all for our own gd n mani of us haf reallie toughen up... yea.. so i guess.. no matter wad happens.. we will nt forget dem.. we look into the future.. but most importantly.. dese memories r more den enuff for us to lasta lifetime..

2005-06-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

2005-05-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

Kaes.. the hols mood here.. dunno y stll muz go for primary school leadership camp.. i tink it's crap.. i swear.. i dun even noe wads mi lines for lectures.. for dat 1hours.. i duno wad i gonna do.. save mi! i tink i'm almost fainting.. watched a show juz nw.. how can gd triumph over the evil? the world isn fair yea? look at ur 5fingers.. y weren't dey the same length in the fers place.. told u.. the world isn't fair..
the dae was sianz.. dis was wad mi maths tuition teacher wrote in mi progress report.. Grace is a promising student with lots of potential.. BUT SHE NEEDS TO MANAGE HER ANGER.. HAz... i oso tink i haf a veri bad temper sumhow.. i feel like flaring up at the smallest stuff sumtimes ya noe.. wen i'm super stressed n feel like i'm going to explode sumhow.. like a volcano liddat k.. n en the lava start spilling out of the volcano crust or wadever u call it.. it's terrible.. n he said i veri de rough.. n maths tuition getting veri sianz.. shall move to mon class.. whereby gt a lotts VS shuai ges hu make u laff like hell thruout the lesson yea?
den the dae was sianz sianz sianz.. n mi choker broke.. coz i tink i was tugging n tugging it.. for no particular reason..
u noe dat worried feeling is baq again.. i having goosebumps.. n every nw n den the chill goes down mi spine.. dat insecurity.. wen i was young.. saw how parents quarreled.. things broke.. blar. nw.. i'm worried.. again.. dat scene kips flashing thru mi mind.. went she held the knife.. ARGH.. i dunno.. i'm juz scared... mi dad's eyes is bloodshot.. i'm reallie scared k.. i'm consoling miself by telling miself i'm worrying too much.. but but but.. i haf a strong phobia for dis.. n mi heart reallie sinking.. coz dat scene kips flashing baq in mi mind k..
kaes.. i'm done here.. bb

2005-05-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

I tink LIFE ROX like heavens manZ!!
e dae was fab manz..
coz coz coz
i opened the bk..
OMG..
i was stunned..
EHH.. SERIOUSLY i expected a 20plus position n wanted to cry in frnt of Ms Yeo..
OR get a 15 n juz give a dumb smile
BUT BUT BUT.. the IMPOSSIBLE HAPPENED...
N the unexpected took place..
I AM #36 IN CLASS...
WHOA.. wonderful.. i'm laz in class.. hiak hiak hiak

juz juz juz juz juz jk..

kaes.. serious nw... serious nw... mi position shot up by more den 10positions.... i was reallie shocked in amazement.. joy.. euphoria... anithing u may sae... but i'm in the TOP 10 in class.. YAYs.. reallie happi k.. n mi mum started counting the Bs in mi report bk wen i opened it.. budden the fers things i looked was mi position... n Ms Yeo asked mi.. how do u feel nw? i said.. I'M STUNNED.... den mi mum said.. how can she improve her eng.. den Ms Yeo said.. actly her foundation of her eng is gd.... n she has good writing skills.. juz dat her laz test pulled her down.. i expected her to get a high A2 n even an A1... -_-" den she said.. mi attitude in class was ok.. juz dat she has been veri quiet n less lively compared to laz yr... but overall shes a bubbly gal.. n mi mum did a stupid thing by asking her how to improve mi Lit coz i got a B4 for it.. den Ms yeo couldn answ ymy...
later.. went to tok to Mdm Nora.. .. she said "her results r ok larhz"... she unds the text.. she juz needa improve her improve her writing skills n blar.. n den attitude wise.. good... veri bubbly n asks a lotta question.. budden needa cultivate the interest ymy... all was crap..
Li lao shi was the one hu said the worst comments bax... she said.. translated into eng.. the wae she speaks very farni.. gt problem in communicating in chinese... den mi mum went... den how to improve.. coz i'm frm an eng speaking familee.. so she advised mi mum to ask mi to read NEWSPAPERS.. u noe wad is NEWSPAPERS. u noe the thick stack of paper whereby one article contains more den a thousand words.. n u read for less den a min... n ur mind will drift awae coz u don unds coz u r SEEING the words.. n don UNDS A SHIT.. A CRAP BOUT IT... N U JUZ SKIP MORE 50% of the words coz u don unds it.. n she said.. tell u arh.. u wait long long i read newspapers.. =P
yeah.. dats all bout it.. n Ms YEo was kinda forcing mi into DHP.. she was BRAINWASHING mi mum.. n mi mum after dat was pestering mi to go into DHP.. den she said u join 100% will get in.. den i told her.. wads the pt of joining since u will 100% get in.. dis means dat it's so LOUSY dat even FLUNKING students like mi can get in.. u noe i tink dose hu applied haf no brains or wad... look at the Is of other JCs..
-RJC
-VJC
-TJC
-HCJC
-NJC
Aren all dese enuff for u.. y do u wan to join a IP sch whereby u r almost a guinea pig.. wherby u r nt guaranteed of the results.. which has no JC facilities which dey sae it's a mere 2yrs ONLI... n u noe wad pple sae wen dey go TJC.. even TJC's facilities n much better den DHS ones.. n dey sae DHS ones are RUN DOWN k.. i'm nt insulting.. but it'sa fact.. wad can u DHS promise.. the teachers.. NTH.. the programmes.. ALL CRAP.. hu wans BICULTURAL PROGRAMMES N GO TO CHINA FOR A MTH TO DO RESEARCH STUDIES.. which makes mi mum feel disgusted.. mi even more disgusted... A SQUARE A CHINESE SCH liddis..
So i made a promise wif mi mum.. if don get into VJC.. which is totally fine wif mi.. coz i'm worried miself i carn get used to JC life.. i will remain in DHS for another 2yrs..n go thru Os.. n wadever dat lies ahead of mi.. i will juz accept it.. yeah.. b open to challenges ymy.. i actly made the impossible possible le.. dis shows dat as long u juz give in dat teeny weeny bit of ur potential.. ur talent.. ur effort.. ur hardwork.. ur committment.. n most imptly.. UR EVERYTHIGN..wad u get is definitely a MILLION times much more den u expect...
Went high.. was disappointed wif languages.. went to Bugis... pierced mi rite ear... did mani stupid stuff... like looking at wedding fotos n whoaing at dem.. n stepping into Puremilk doing the stupidest thing u will nt ever tink of.. n BLARz.. all superficial.. juz DON LIKE shopping yea?
yeah.. aniwae mi advice to couples out dere.... wan to take wedding fotos.. a place u muz nver miss is the BEACH... the sand.. the sky.. the wind.. the SEA.. wonderful effect manz..
Bernice toked to mi bout Mr Goh.. yeah.. repeated mi stnad.. dunno y every1 was looking at mi in dat manner yesterdae.. u noe wad is TEACHER- STUDENT relationship.. yesh.. we SHARE DAT RELATIONSHIP... n dats it...
n YEAH... the PA crew rox MANZ.. thru dis 5mths.. we haf GONE THRU THICK N THIN TOGETHER.. dealing wif the faulty machines.. the mikes... nver forget the fers time i touched the thing.. n the whole system.. went bersek.. n we got a lecture for dat.. yeah.. all dat reallie make mi life so wonderful.. n Jinhui n Ming Shuen teaching us so much dese few mths.. wif Mei Hui n Sophia inspecting us.. n Hengjie sometimes giving us advice.. showering us wif so much concern.. WE HAF DEVELOPED STRONG FEELINGS LOVE PASSION FOR EACH OTHER... mi was mentioning dis todae n we all agreed... yea? esp.. mi ying ying.. yuru n Hsien Liang.. yeah.. mi n Hsien Liang alwaes pair up while Yuru n Ying ying alwaes pair up.. yeah... Hsien Liang poor thing.. alwaes kana mi worst suaning over his height.. n he alwaes feel zi bei wen he stands bside mi... HAz.. den in the control room.. reallie cl feel the warmth.. n all of us.. fell into top 10 in the class.. n dey haf been the onli pple hu haf seen mi report bk.. todae.. Gary.. Yanchun.. Mengshuen.. Hsien Liang.. n mi were toking bout chiobus.. HAz... den dey started toking bout the requirements dey wanted of a gal.. den dey sae guys wan generally gals at least 10cm shorter den dem.. HAz.. dats y i said basic requirement for guy's height is 175cm larhz.. Haz.. den Hsien Liang sae he alwaes feel veri zi bei wen he stand bside mi.. n he n gary tink dat i too tall le.. HAz.. den Yanchun sae dey sooner or later will sure b taller den us de.. HAz... makes great sense... i'm in a high mood k.. decided dat i haf ENUFF.. of all dat emotions... all dat stupid entangled relationships.. time to b u noe.. more serious n dese stuff r onli a small part of life.. mi big part of life will cum wen i'm 17...
Aniwae.. i haf cum to a conclusion
MI MUM POSSESS EXTREMEE KIASUISM..

2005-05-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Well.. dese words.. haf been kept in mi heart since laz wk.. din had the mood to blog it out.. din haf the time to blog it out.. so i shall juz sae bax.. frankly speaking.. yeah.. we r frenz.. so wad? to b honest... i tink i'm a thrash or rubbish to u.. mayb u r nice to every1 coz u wan to b popular or wadsoever heck.. for dat.. dats none of mi business frm nw on.. u b the person u wanna b.. i carn stop u frm being wad u wanna b.. being friends wif mi in the fers place.. most probably is nt for frenship.. dere r other reasons to it.. u noe it urself bax.. wadever it is.. after jun hols.. a new term.. a new semester.. i haf slacked enuff dis term.. time to get to work le bax nxt semester.. n moreoever sitting wif Junya.. =)=)=)
Yeah.. i sound harsh.. but i tink i cld b more harsh.. =(
Hmmz.. wads all dat banning in teacher writing testimonials for us.. u wanna stop us frm leaving.. if u haf no confidence in nurturing the remaining students left in DHS.. den dats ur prob.. tot u all had all dat confidence in DHP.. in ur programmes.. n y resort to dese underhandmeans to stop us frm leaving..
Frenz..u cld haf a million but how mani r true... i feel blessed to b honest.. to haf wonderful frenz.. sum true to mi.. sum others hyprocrites.. i haf nth to give u.. SHOO..
wadever it is.. the loneliness in mi heart nw.. the emptiness i'm going thru.. i dunno.. wheres all dat feeling cuming frm.. i haf no1 in mi heart nw... we shall leave affairs of the heart to 17yrs n above yeah? realised dat all the puppy love.. infatuations.. crushes r all an illusion.. looking baq nw.. all dese wasn real.. it was all the illusional feeilngs.. nver ever like ani1 truly b4 in mi life.. to sae hurt.. nver got truly hurt b4. nver was ever cheated b4.. n i dare sae.. no1 was ever serious b4.. whether it was u.. or mi... blarhz... it's all a beautiful future we r imagining.. dat all wil b so smooth n beautiful.. WHOA... it's byond mi imaginations.. realised DHS guys r all shit.. personality wise.. wads all dat egoisticness.. super high self-esteem.. made a decision todae.. wif the help of xr n jy.. HAz.. muz find a guy at least 175cm n 140% of mi skin colour.. dats still super fair coz i'm veri fair n 175 is average height of guys.. n btw.. hu wans to flirt wif the geog teacher yeah.. he's a nice person.. sad dat hes leaving.. wish him all the bez ymy.. he will do well in his teaching career i bet.. wad gals wan of guys.. dat kinda shuai cool seh.. wadever heck.. in the end.. however gd dey were.. dey gt cheated by dese stupid DHS guys of their feelings.. ending up hurt.. despondent.. wadever heck u call it.. sinking into depression.. in mi whole life.. i dare swear.. i finally saw a guy hu was humane.. i dare swear wif mi life he won bully gals no matter wad... yeah?
Auditions was ok ymy.. was tired le larhz actly.. i wanted to die on the spot wen i shouted screamed n nobody gave a damn bout mi.. den wen i tried to arrange dem.. Shumin screamed louder den mi.. den i shouted loudly the arrangements.. yeah.. ok larhz.. performances was... ok larhz... mi leg nt fully recovered..but i shall jiayou jiayou jiayou.. HAz. we muz win ymy.. mi n aud went hunting for the costumes.. carn find.. hafta depend on the rest le.. Ice Lemon Tee de nubbad ymy.. mayb can get one frm dere... hiak hiak hiak...
Yeah.. juz saeing a few words of thankew to a bunch of pple hu haf made mi life so much more colourful n fulfilling.. yeah?
-Fers fers the person sitting bside mi.. Selina Chan..the person hu sits bside u is the one hu makes ur term more meaningful.. thou u were depressed most of the time.. but thx for all ur help n i tink i owe u a lot..
-Nt forgetting the two super nice pple sitting in frnt of mi...YEAH? Xr alwaes going to the toilet together... chatting n all dat encouragement.. n Mingquan... our deliverymen hu helps us buy food n even treats mi sumtiems wen i in a bad mood ymy.. thx thx thx.. for everything... life wld b so much inconvenient wifout u all.. HAz...
-Of course.. mi H.E. coursework partner.. Junya.. HAZ... a true fren u make.. u brighten up mi life.... u simply rok sia.. we make a good pair.. HAZ.. she scored highest for Coursework wif a mark of 91 n i was 2nd bhind her.. I'M still happi.. coz i tink we both deserve the mrks for all dat effort practisign n discussing yeah? bet u wld make a gr8 seating partner nxt term =)=)=)
-Lalalalz.. the person which brings laughter into mi life.. wen i'm sad alwaes try to cheer mi up de.. Yunjing.. haz.. aiyaz.. thx for all dat sacarsm.. humourousness.. alwaes cheering sel up.. HAz.. n for like working into the night to complete art together.. HAz...
-Wooooo.. muz muz muz thank SC. seriously.. thou i'm aske to step down by Mrs George. coz coz coz... i tink it instilled sum sense of discipline into mi.. thou i'm still nt a role model.. which Mrs George kips repeating n at least i can feel dat motivation yeah?
-Yupp yupp.. oso Aud.. for teaching mi the dance.. alwaes toking so much sense.. giving mi so much advice on all areas of life ymy.. u r a PRO gia k... n being so tolerant wif mi thrashy bball skills.. yeah.. u make a wonderful chatting partner kaes.. Hiakkk...
- Oso oso oso.. i tink Ms Loh rox kaes... i tink traineeteachers r superb larhz.. so caring.. nt onli bout ur studies.. bout ur life as well.. wen u need a hug.. go to her. she will sure give u de.. HAz.. n mi art aced for the veri veri fers time in mi life..thx to her.. n mi n yj wouldn haf survived our foto montage wifout her ymy.. HAz..
-Yeah.. n Mr Goh.. hu onli taught us for2wks... btu can feel the care he has for us.. guess whether hes feeling down or wad.. dat smile is forever on his face... n bringing laughter n life into our boring sch lives.. n nt punishing us wen we don complete our wrk.. yeah? i dare bet.. no1 has ever fallen asleep during ur lessons.. HAz...
n all the 2Bonafides.. i tink we rok the most.. rok the whole level.. n wadever dey sae.. we r nerds or wadsoever.. we r a jack of all trades n a master of all of dem as well.. we do well in our studies.. deco.. n i tink we r so much united den b4 yea? so we shall jiayouz for youthdae n clinch another 1st prize.. HAz.. yeah.. so Happi Hols.. bb!

2005-05-26T00:43:00.000-07:00

HAz.. reallie high todae.. decided dat i muz blog b4 i go study for chem coz dat geog teacher reallie roks mi socks k.. aiyaz.. tok bout interclass fers larhz... i reallie don bliff in slamming into each other until a person falls k.. HAz.. watched 4B n 4I play.. dat game was reallie nice ymy.. budden dey kip accidentally hitting each other's hand... HAHAz... but at least dis time no slamming ymy... so it was kinda nice.. den 4K n 4I dat match was reallie nice k.. for the fers 15mins.. i don tink it was nice in the laz 15mins.. coz i heard dat pple kinda got violent n hiong.. n started slamming.. HAz.. budden i tink Daniel is seh k.. the wae he shoot the 3pointer ball.. wapiangs.. pple cover his eyes he still can shoot in.. den another super pro guy frm 4e.. he's pro.. i like their jersey manz... 4E is pro at interclass.. HAz.. so 4E won.. ~cheerZ~... aniwae win or nt oso doesn matters ymy.. it's the process of the game larhz... saw how united 4B was despite losing the match wif 4K.. dat is wad i call SEH manz... HAz..
kaes.. todae.. in the morning.. a veri gd thing happened to mi.. i sprained mi ankle yesterdae.. aiyaz.. gimme an ankle transplant.. i wanna change mi ankle.. n yunjing oso lorhz..HAz.. so both of us.. slowly walked down wen the msuic played.. den wen we reachign the class dat time... SHIT.. the person gave command.. k lorhz.. one whole bunch of pple standing dere.. den in the end Mr Kiw toked one whole bunch of crap n den excuse mi, YJ, n the SJAB chairperson... den later lu lao shi wanna tok to all the SCs dat were caught.. FINE.. he seemed pleased wif mi reason.... Later Mrs George came to find mi wif dat angry face... den i told her mi ankle nt convenient.. den she was like BS wif dat reason.. n walked awae liddat.. HAz.. i reallie getting into lots of trouble wif the teachers manz..
GEOG was PERVERTIC... pervertic n more pervertic... toking bout childbirth... WAA.... Rachel said she wanted to b single.. den i said loudly.. i wan to b a flirt hu can haf mani bf.. HAz.. den he was like waaa... den YJ started toking bout Aids.. n Yiwei started toking bout condoms.. n Audrey was like every nite.. BLAR.. n we tok bout Pre-marital S~~.. HAz..he's interesting ymy.. coz we did a personality test on him.. n found out he got strong s~~ desire n enjoys s~~ a lot.... HAz... n wen he heard dat.. he was still smiling.. den mi the super duper nice person.. help him take laptop n his stuf.. den he told mi he was 1.78m..tall sia.. n he tot i was frm bball.. HAz...
Went for dental check-up.. sch de.. the nurse was super smiley.. coz i was veri frenly.. n started chatting wif dem... HAz.. n the dentist is pro at polishing... den later.. i wanted to rinse mi mouth.. den no water.. den i said sumthing like can refill mi water.. den the nurse n Huikee started laffing.. i oso dunno y.. i tink if i'm high i bring laughter into pple's life ymy.. kaes.. go le.. bb

2005-05-24T04:59:00.000-07:00

todae was a sianz dae.. class foto was hao xiaoz... one moment i was wif Jasvin n Bernice.. den i flew to sel n jenny.. den i ran to xr.. den later.. wif aud.. n in the end wif Zhiyin..Haz..cool ritez...
Btw.. mi n sel haf a new name.. we r called CHOC CHIP.. i'm choc.. shes chip.. n selina chan jia jia.. I WAN A BAR OF CHOC EVERYDAE.... I BETTER C ONE ON MI TABLE WEN I CUM BAQ FRM DUTY HOH..
had maths.. waa. during the test.. hot like hell lorhz... i was staring blankly at the paper.. den mi blouse was soaked... den mi chest felt tight... n mi mind went blank.. so the fers page.. i totally left the whole thing blank n skip to second page.. coz i really forgot how to ans. seriously.... luckily still ok.. n walaoz.. lucky Mrs Lim din criticize mi b4 the paper or else i will b demoralised.. she said after the paper during lessons.. coz i wasn copying down the ques n she said. .Grace arh.. i realised dat nowadays u nt focused.. nver pay attention..
Haz.. yeah.. true.. so in order to prove to her dat i still do mi work.. i did all the assignments finish le k.. HAz.. n sadly to sae.. shes retiring.. she cares.. she observes.. suddenly don haf the urge to youth dae dance again... Aiyaz. i already mastered it le.. it's a matter whether i wan nt nw.. actly such a small decision.. whether i take part or not doesn make a difference i guess.. =P n Mr Goh is SHUAI SHUAI SHUAI.. if he was 3 years younger i will fall for ok.. i tink hes the onli DHS guy hu looks shuai..
N dere was dis teacher frm Chinese High School... DAMN BLARDY SISSY.. wen he walks... he shakes his butt.. den he put so strong cologne until i wanna sneeze n cough k... n he has a belly.. n n n hes super damn blardy hairy.. his hand arh.. walaoz.. carn c teh skin le.. n he's so damn blardy fair... EEEeeee.. disgusting k... i felt like puking.. hes more sissyish den shunjie i tell u.. wonder how the students tolerate dis kinda teacher
after sch.. gao ding sum NP stuff.. den went for SC meeting.. sitting dere for less den 2 mins.. buay tahan.. den i wanna go canteen.. SHIT.. MET Ms Yeo.. den she discussed the youth dae thing wif mi all the wae to 2A.. den i sit dere alone.. n games doesn concern mi at all lorhz.. y muz i go.. so i heck care bout the teachers.. i scram outta room by the baq door... n wenta dance in 2B.. HAz.. danced until shuangz wif Rae.. i went to the bball court..
Watched interclass btween 4B n 4G.. i like both classes coz 4G a lotta NCOs n 4B gt Shuqi mdm.. HAz.. budden it was reallie sianz.. eepin sir is reallie a pro bball player larhz.. budden aiyaz.. the game was all about rough playing.. @ the beginning.. walaoz.. the wae dey slam into each other.. hitting each other... cham arh.. NO. 1 of 4G was hiong.. n NO. 23 of both classes nubbad ymy.. actly wad came to mi mind was.. so wad if u can play well.. u kip banging into pple liddat.. so rough for wad... wakaoz... saw 4K n 4C play oso nt liddat lorzh.. where gt so hiong.. so it was reallie sianz watching all the rough plays...

Yunjing is toking on the fone wif mi nw n she totally brings laughter to me! I love her to the ultimate core manz.... i was nt forced to write this.. i really love her.... n she has cut her hair today.. n she claims look like shit n i agree as well...
Yunjing is bored and she's gonig to hang up the fone nw.. n she's depressed and feeling sucidal... HAIZZ. i'm such a lousy fren bcoz i am unable to console n encourage her... HAIZZ...HAIZZZ.. HAIZZ... HAIZZ.. I am disgusted by miself bcoz i'm unable to help a fren in need and bring her forward through the crisis of her life....

Aniwae.. YUnjing ordered mi to type dat de.. dis is lame.. n tok to mi so long n she hung up the fone on mi lorhz.. WALAOZ.. is u inflict injury on mi lorhz.. =P
Yeah.. so after interclass.. i couldn b bothered to take a bus/ MRT home.. so i juz took a taxi.. n the taxi was travelling at 120km/h on the expressway k.. n in mi mind i was hoping it wld reach 150km/hr..HAz.. thou it was overtaking practically every motor cycle n car on the express way.. n the fare is 9.90.. O GOSH.. i'm broke again.. i'm left wif $14.. muz survive on dou sha bao already... i started todae wif $40 k.. where the hell the money went.. i haf no idea.. -_-"

2005-05-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sleepy.. i feel like sleeping it's onli 11pm.. n i feel so tired le.. i carn bliff it.. but i noe dat if i don complete dat art todae.. i will die a terrible death tomoro o no.. panda eyes tomoro for foto taking le.. wish mi all the bez.. HAz..bb ...

2005-05-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

Todae was a totally sianz dae.. woke up at 10am.. den packed mi file.. did the chinese summary.. den zzz again.. den wake up again.. studied sum maths.. den went to gao ding the NPCC proj.. it took up 4hours k.. n mi printer ink.. construction papers.. whoosh.. gone nw.. HAz.. nvm.. wanna study sum chem de.. den realised couldn unds a single crap.. so i shall do art later bax.. coz i haf unfinished art due on wed.. i'm nt cut out to b a painter..
Couldn focus n concentrate lorhz.. todae.. i'm in the holiday mood le.. carn bliff still hafta go for ATC n SC camp consecutively lorhz.. din even prepare anithing for the lectures.. i mean.. i din even turn up once.. coz i was totally unaware... i tink one of the teachers gonna cum after mi le..=P ATC.. dunno wad we going to do dere... don tink lifes gonna b easi dere.. mayb we gonna haf PT PT n more PT.. wad else can we do bsides dere.. nitewalk or something liddat bax.. budden everyting shld b over soon.. n i wanna get tanned k.. i nid more melanin.. HAz...
Sianz larhz.. can we juz haf hols thruout dis wk.. the laz wk to a whole mth of hols... i wanna slp slp n slp... luckily onli needa go baq in fers n laz wk of Jun for preparation of youth dae.. n i'm outta publicity.. feel less taxed le..can concentrate on gao dinging the lower sec. concert.. kaes.. i'm outta here.. bb

2005-05-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

HaZ.. i seriously tink mi template sux like hell.. but i lazy to change larhz... todae went out early in the morning.. din cum home real late.. but still spent quite an amt of time outside.. bought a tank top.. mi mum juz promised mi to buy dat super nice pants k.. i gonna make her kip her promise n shes gt 100 dollars royal sporting house voucher.. cool manz.. n guess hu i met.. MS SEOW!! n she was like.. O HI GRACE.. hahaahahhahahahz.. tell u wad she wearing k.. wear a white spaghetti strap top.. n shorts.. wa.... revealing arh.. budden still nice larhz.. HAz.. den blar blar blar.. wad else do u xpect frm shoppin which exhuasts u of ur energy.. i rather do something else.. but under mi dad's order.. wad can i do.. HAz.. but it was ok todae larhz.. onli did a little art k.. i tink i'm kinda dead wif the hmk.. shall try to chiong sum tonite n still needa study graphs tonite n get the crime prevention proj done.. budden hu gives a damn.. it's wk10.. it's time to let our hair down n party.. gt so mani dates nowadays lorhz.. tomoro supposed to go party de.. den tink of the pile of undone hmk.. n np proj.. decided to b guai n do ymy...n i realised dat i haf been super dao dese few wks.. so sorry k if i daoed u in sum wae or another.. i'm a well-known dao gia.. HAz.. i'm quite high ymy.. still don wanna join the dance.. i decided nt to get tied down by committments nxt term onwards.. after youth dae.. n i will steer clear n b a nobody n everything.. coz i lost so much dis term manz.. dat drive isn dere animore..wads the pt of carrying on.. n i wads the pt of being so tired wif everything by the wk 7 of the term wen u still haf to chiong so mani stuff for the rest of the term.. its tiring.. had enuff of the fun.. of everything le.. HAz.. mi main emphasis nw is mi studies manz.. at least i noe dat if i don get into VIP i still haf mi final year results to back mi up or i will b left wif nth in the end.. HAz.. kaes.. gtg le.. cyaz..

2005-05-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

woke up quite late todae.. 9plus.. a veri satisfactory sleep larhz.. long time nver slp so long le.. HAz.. den slacked n chionged to meet Bernice at MRT station at 11pm... waited for her for ard 15mins.. HAz.. den we took a train to Eunos.. to meet Le-anne.. den we supposed to go Orchard.. den dunno y.. we blur or wad..alighted at Bugis.. HAz.. reallie blur ritez.. n le-anne was reallie chio.. a blouse n skirt.. 60dollars for dat suit.. shes filthy rich manz.. n bernice was wearing mini skirt.. which costed 40bucks plus.. which i odn tink is reallie dat nice.. HAz.. n i dunno y... all of dem wore skirts... n i was wearing OP surf shorts lorhz.. so we shopped ard... i was broke k.. i started wif 50 dollars at the start of the wk.. n dis morning i realised dat mi wallet left wif 7 bucks.... cham ritez. i muz make dat bet wif Sel nxt wk again... if i spend more den 30bucks den muz buy her mac everydae.. HAz.. budden i paid for a lotta stuff... sch stuff.. so it's ok bax.. we took neoz... was reallie hao xiao.. den we look here n dere.. saw reallie nice stuff... den went Yoshinoya to eat.. n walked again.. den met Junya.. she was oso wearing skirt.. wa piangs.. y gals so obsessed wif skirts arh...
went macs so dat she cld eat her lunch.. den went baq to sch to watch CS concert.. i carn bliff i'm actly watching such a chinese concert lorhz.. watched enuff chinese-oriented concerts le bax. budden seirously... Chinese society is reallie a super duper united CCA grp manz.. the xiang sheng.. i seriously felt like slping larhz.. waa... better nt critcize.. coz i oso carn speak proper chinese.. but it was quite ok larhz.. i tried to make miself learn to appreciate chinese stuff... budden still felt sianz.. budden nvm bax.. 5dollars ticket.. qutie cheap.. n i saw Yuting mdm...
tomoro going out again.. n i wanna watch monster in law.. seems so nice.. n the gals of 2B seems to haf cum up wif the dress code for the band concert... cham.. hahaz...
met a guy hu looked so much like mingquan.. which reminded mi of one thing he, sel n xr said bout mi: career-minded.. nxt time cannot find bf... boo.. i dun tink i'm career-minded k.. budden it's true dat career-minded women veri diff find bf... n dey too independent.. guys don like gals hu r too independent.. coz dey wanna give gals a sense of security.. hu saes i dunnid all dese lorhz.. i nt human merhz... sel still sae i am a guy... selina chan.. ni gei wo ji zhu... Ahaz.. juz jk.. n xr sae i muz find a guy hu can dominate mi n more li hai den mi. .sae until like i so ba dao liddat.. dat the guy muz b veri tolerant wif mi.. Wapiang.... n den... selina n tan mingquan still sae guys don like gals hu r more lihai den dem.... aik siong oso said dat laz nite.. yeah... it's true bax.. budden love can overcome anithing ritez.. so wad if the gal is more lihai den the guy... n sel sae i'm nt girlish at all... dat means i'm nt a gal to her.. i'm a guy.. walaoz.. selina treats mi as her bf... HAz..
HAz.. i feeling tired.. stil early lerhz.. i shall slp at 11pm.. bleahz.. i carn bliff i'm kiping dat message.. i stored it in archive... aiyaz.. dunno wad i doing larhz... even more duno wad i'm tinking.. juz noe dat wen dat dae cums whereby i haf the courage to delete dat message means i totally haf no feelings bax.. muz thank junwei for typing dat message.. at least i noe how i feel... i don like budden sumhow deres gonna b a teeny weeny feeling bax... aiyaz.. dunno.. sumtimes its juz so complicated manz.. i'm recovering frm a broken heart.. HAz... exxagerating.. nvm.. shall delete it nw... to prove dat i'm nt a flirty person....
i delete le... mi heart sinking nw arh.. argh.. i dowan to go against mi morals n like two persons at the same time.. but i went against mi heart.. wth i'm doing manz.. walaoz.. i feel terrible nw.. over one stupid msg.. wad the hell am i doing manz.. arghhh,,,
seriously.. i juz hope dat the feelings cld b gone forever... budden u noe how long it takes to fall for a person n to TOTALLY give up.. its possible to give up.. but the word totally is almost impossible for mi.. no matter how.. i juz carn get over.. i already tried mi bez le.. i had the urge to look at him yesterdae.. WTH.. decided on one thing bax.. giving up is already enuff for mi..but it doesn include the word totally... aniwae i like another person nw.. y kip dat message for wad actly.. budden i still don feel gd... forget it.. dis kinda thing onli make pple feel terrible onli.. =(

2005-05-20T07:22:00.001-07:00

todae was fun sia.. eng.. we slacked.. science i slacked.. recess rushing out graphs.. still gt one haven handed in yet... argh... i dunno wad i doing.. wanted to do after auditions.. budden no time..
aniwae.. geog was AGAIN SO FUN MANZ.. i reallie love him larhz.. i tink he totally rox mi socks manz... was so jokey n farni.. 21 yrs old.. gt bright future manz.. hahaz..
seriously larhz.. i swear wif mi life.. cross mi heart.. Mrs Lim is reallie nice.. despite wad i did to her yesterdae.. shes still so nice to mi.. wen i asked her will the scale for french curves in tests.. she wenta sae.. veri rare.. den i sae.. veri difficult lerhz.. den she smiled n sae.. den dowan lorhz.. waa. .mi heart melt lerhz.. i tink she kinda rox now.. thou she boring n i don reallie unds her.. but i trust the geog teacher n Ms Seow's judgement.. dey all sae shes nice so she muz b nice.. n shes so forgiving manz..
auditinos.. chiong again.. i pushed everything forward to 1.30pm.. was ok larhz.. lucky lorhz.. or else i wld haf totally missed dry-shooting.. hahaz.. we already chose out the classes.. nubbad ymy.. muz thank mabel esp.... June, Xiurong, Cheryl, Yuxuan, Zhuofei, Desmond, Meihui the teachers.. reallie xie xie ta men..
after dat. chiong in taxi for dryshooting at geylang NPC.. thx to Shuqi mdm.. veir hao xiao lorhz i tell u.. we sat inside.. playing n playing .. almost whole gals sqd.. plus boys.. den i was the laz gal... so i went in wif three guys.. HAz.. haoxiaz sia.. Yongzhang sir was pissed wif us.. nt mi bax.. coz he was coaching the boys at the end.. which i tink is jiacheng n meizhiwei.. den xiangqi mdm was coaching sihong.. den jiaming sir.. reallie super duper nice lorhz.. coz i totally dunno anithing.. den i found out dat mi master eye is .. MI LEFT EYE..wa.. carn bliff it lorhz.. i tot mi rite eye is better.. aiyaz.. mi left eye reaching 1000 degrees le.. shit.. n a gun is REALLIE HEAVY.. den the position of the hands is difficult i realised todae.. i was doing every single step wrongly until xiangqi mdm covered her face.. HAz.. den jiaming sir had to positino mi fingers for mi.. den i press the trigger until pain arh.. so mafan.. muz wait for first click n second click.. y muz hold dere arh.. veri pain lerhz... den i couldn hear the click. so i tink Jiaming sir muz b tinking.. Su Xin Hui muz b gone case le.. HAz.. den later wen kipping dat time.. muz hold bside the ear.. i tink i did sumthign wrongly again.. Xiangqi mdm was like.... alamak in her mind.. den yongzhang sir.. was like.. ehh.. how cum xinhui hold the gun different frm the rest.. so unnatural.. den later xiangqi mdm oso sae.. Yeah.. i tink so too.. veri unnatural.. den i was like.. o no.. i did sumthign wrongly again.. aiyaz.. den put higher. den wen taking out.. i tink i stupid or wad.. juz like Yongzhang sir said.. i tink i failed common sense test.. haiyaz.. nvm larhz.. i tink i'm a moron.
AYS came baq todae.. muz thank wad wenyi n junwei did todae.. he gt galfren le.. n i oso give up le.. aiyaz.. i dunno wad i tinking larhz.... budden... aiyaz. i dunno wad i doing.. i dunno wadseover larhz.. tskk.. chammm..finally todae can rest.. slp in peac.e. HAz..
tomoro gonna haf fun.. going out.. finally can go out n play le.. gonna cancel all activities tomoro ymy.. actly tomoro got SC meeting lerhz.. budden Jessalyn din sae anithing.. so forget it bax.. i oso need a break manz.. i'm sick of working.. whole dae SC.. whole wk SC.. i missed interclass coz of SC. quitted dance coz of SC.. almost missed dryshooting coz of SC.. budden nvm.. i still love SC a lot... SC rox... we rok k.. u noe the hard work we put in.... dun sae we suk... it's Mr Kiw which sux.. i nver catch pple de ymy.. exco members onli bax... kaes. bb..

2005-05-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

2005-05-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

learn mani things todae... saw the class unity.. spirit.. everything bout each class.. totally rox.. dey all haf dat special thing in dem.. sumhow.. tok bout lessons fers..
I seriously tot i will flunk SPA k.. coz i tink i colour blind or wad.. the powder brown i c as green.. den the liquid pink i c as purple.. n i could not write out the chemical name for universal indicator.. my equation was rite.. except that.. the three i go write as two.. n dat means the whole thign wrong.. but hu noes.. i scored liddat.. i tink mi marks rox k.. i ought to b proud of it lorhz.. coz i tot i will flunk until cham cham.. i tot i wll b the lowest in class.. i nt the highest.. but i'm still veri happy..
I tink the Geog. teacher rox like hell.. i'm falling in lurve wif him manz.. hes so cute.. so sissyish.. HAz.. so interesting.. i used to feel like slping during Mrs Ho's lessons.. but shes a reallie superb good teacher.. n now.. i look forward to his lessons.. n i tink he looks forward to our lessons as well... coz he alwaes sae.. so fast arh.. HAz.. he called on mi todae.. to ans the population pyramid question.. wth.. Goh Shun JIe n a whole bunch of pple wenta sae... hurry hurry.. turn to page 134.. den i was like.. flip flip flip.. den the geog teacher wenta sae.. try larz. u flip pg 1 to 20.. flip flip flip.. den i felt so wad.. den i asked him.. wad u wana noe.. den he sae.. y u study geog.. den i said.. fun n interesting.. nt like history.. got a b***** teacher like Mrs Kang.. HAz.. den i tink he agreed wif mi or wad... den later he said.. i nver sae anithing arh.. HAz...... interesting.. den he asked mi singapore belongs to which category.. i anihow luan luan lai.. sae narrow base.. CORRECT LERHZ.. i tink i'm smart lorhz.. HAz.. or i'm great at guessing.. dne he ask y... den i anihow toked sum crap which was WRONG.. i tink Rachel is smart manz.. HAz..aniwae.. dat geog teacher i tink is teh greatest part of him is dat he's not da nan ren.. he doesn haf reallie super high high rocket sky affinity high self-esteem.. dats y we feel so comfortable n relaxed during his lesson.. so i tink he rox.. kaes.. dats it bout him...
maths arh.. i did something super duper wrong.. din realise the damage i had done until Rachel told mi.. dis was wad i did.. Mrs Lim was teaching graphs.. o gr8.. i din unds.. i was totally confused.. so i went ard asking.. ehh u unds nt.. mi purpose was to find out hu din unds.. den later i told Mrs Lim..
mRS Lim.. Let's do a survey.. Who don unds the graph.. raise up your hand.. half the class raise.. n she seemed PISSED wif mi.. hahaz.. nvm alrhz.. i'm frank.. wad u wan mi to tell u.. Mrs Lim i don unds.. doesn sound convincing.. den she started saying.. we weren focused n concentrated.. o as thou... i was trying mi bez le lorhz... cum on manz.. i'm nt the onli 1... den Rachel said dat i was very daring.. i knew dat she was angry.. budden nvm larhz..dats mi style.. i'm dat frank.. y kip things in ur heart.. wadever u haf in ur heart.. Sae it out..
Chinese.. seriously.. i was PISSED K... hmmz.. sum pple juz enjoy.. sitting baq n relax.. n nt doing anithing.. n wen everything's done.. u cum n sae.. i cum n help.. wells.. shan elaborate.. u noe it urself.. presentation.. totally shit.. i wasn in the mood to present k.. so wads if its well done.. it wasn 6 pple do one.. it was 2 person do de.. hu rushed like hell while u pple juz sat dere n did nth.. i'm frank once again... don like it den TOO BAD...
N u arh.. frm morning to afternoon.. complain complain complain.. gossip gossip gossip.. crap crap crap.. u don get sick of all dese.. we r getting sick of it arh.. don u feel a single tinge of guiltiness? a tinge of regret? y r u doing it EVERY SINGLE DAE.. i admire u manz...
n aud.. i'm sorry.. i din mean to quit frm the dance.. i noe u r getting pissed.. u won unds mui jobs.. while i won unds wad u r going thru.. i noe dat Bernice Vian n sum other peeps haf quitted... i feel dat its poitnless for mi to continue le.. i'm juz a burden.. wads the point of being one of the three solos at the frnt to flop everything wen u don even noe the basic steps wen every single one noes le xcept u.. i'm tired to learn aniwae..
Mi advice.. saw the auditions.. i cannot sae anithing.. but it was interesting.. reallie.. hiong arh.. teacher's expectations r HIGH.. doesn mean dat u tink ur item is good means u will get in.. was kinda sad wen saw dose hu put in so much effort.. the item juz went.. WHOOSH.. gone wif the wind.. the hard work n time put in.. mi n xr promised nt to sae anithing...
I owe Mrs Lim maths assignments.. one due on mon.. until nw unhanded in.. cham..but i tink got pple worse den mi.. dose less committments one.. until nw oso haven handed in supp ws.. i'm nt dat bad at the least. tomoro go to sch to chiong jiu ke yi le.. juz put in dat little effort.. n things might juz b veri much different.. shall nt procrastinate further.. HAz..

2005-05-18T05:40:00.000-07:00

Finally.. everything is over.. it has drained mi of all mi energy.. dat heave of relief after the exams.. TOTALY UNDESCRIBABLE.. history was hiong arh... hiong until like siaoz... mi source-based questions.. neat throughout all the wae... structure essay.. 1a... haz.. still acceptable.. 1b,1c,2a,2b,2c... TSK.. cham arh... scribbled like hell.. wif mi messiest n most disgusting handwriting dat can cause pple to puke at the sight of it.. ARGH.. nvm.. done mi bez.. at least i answered.. H.E. was nt reallie hiong.. coz i did quickly.. i juz skim thru the MCQ n answered quickly in less den 2mins.. quite fast larhz.. den the rest.. waa... stuck on 3rd page.. was staring at it for super long til i realised.. O no.. u don haf much time left.. go on to the next page b4 u die a horrible death.. HAz.. den i juz scribbled n scribbled.. finallly.. DONE..
Shrieks of triumph n heaves of relief... filled the classroom.. mi heart was.. burning with freedom.. with its outspread wings almost wanting to fly awae to a far far awae land almost immediately.. unfortunately.. still gt youth dae danc.e. practise practise practise.. go to digital art room to get art thing done.. slacked.. .. danced.. SC meeting..
the SC meeting was.. ok larhz.. Ms Yeo asked mi to brief dem.. den i went HUHZ? den later she sae mi liddat.. she did the briefing lorhz. actly i noe almost nuts bout the.. the games.. i onli noe botu the concert.. for upper sec. n lower sec.. n i din even noe lower sec. n upper sec. auditions together lorhz.. TSK.. cham... so she briefed the concert pple.. i toked to the publicity pple.. we discussed.. hmmz. quite ok larhz... briefed dem on the stuff.. wasn as fun n intersting as they tot.. to their disappointment.. c their faces.. oso make mi disappointed.. -_-" nvm.. wad u don like to do oso still muz do.. argh.. had meeting for more near 3 hours arh.. CHAM.. but we slacked on the 3rd hr in the canteen.. nubbad lahrz.. at least we discussed.. budden wonder how we gonna do it.. Haiii.. i feel worried.. dunno y.. i promise.. i won let it overwhelm mi.. i shall overcum it.. juz tink dat u can do it.. having a lotta doubts in anithing i do.. even for the smallest thing like. tying ur shoelace.. CHAM.. haz.. dunno wad i doing.. Ms Loh did something shocking.. surprising..beyond wad u can tink... nvm... blar.. every1 was toking bout it after dat.. i exxagerated larhz.. but it wasn reallie nice to do dat ymy.. HAz.. Junya was saeing.. liking i eat le.. den Mabel was dwarting her eyes ard.. den zuxin n xiurong were.. giving mi dat look.. den i was like laffing n laffing.. HAz...
Talentime.. dunno y.. like taking escape theme park rides.. the heart almost pop out.. WA PIANGS.. i tot the room veri few pple.. den onli 2 to 3 judges.. den wen i saw the long row of judges.. waa.. mi heart dropped n skipped a beat.. i started wondering.. o no.. can i get outta dis place nw.. hw to sing alone in frnt of dem.. it was real scary lorhz.. esp. wen dey stare at u wif dey strict faces.. den xianglong sir was trying to hear n hear n hear.. but couldn hear.. -_-" i couldn even hear miself.. den Qiwen sir almost offed the whole radio.. CHAM arh.. reallie cham arh.. i almost felt like crying.. HAz.. i dunno y oso.. i juz freaked out.. worse still we all agreeted wrongly.. tot greet N of N.. Limin mdm. den hu noes.. alamak.. greet duty n.. n according to RO is greet xianglong sir.. hu noes.. is yuting mdm.. -_-" argh.. nvm larhz.. we din mean it oso.. juz cal mi slow.. totally losing touch wif NP after nt gonig for so mani activities.. argh.. nvm nvm.. den the grp one.. i hope the wo nan guo get in lerhz... n mi n yuyang still got the auditions tomoro..die lorhz.. i got SC oso. shit lorhz.. wth.. den mi n wen yi sang rite here waiting.. finally mustered mi courage by den.. lifted up mi head look at dem n sing.. dey r nt monsters aniwae.. nt going to eat mi up.. HAz... n the tong hua.. so hao xiao.. we lost beat.. n everything went haywire.. HAz.. dun get in arh dat one.. the SEc. 1s sing better den us lorhz.. den after everything.. i siam.. i din go for last grp song.. go doc. wen i sae i leaving.. every1 toking.. no1 gives a damn.. so i left silently..
totally sianz.. den watched a little of interclass.. was sianz as well.. sec. 3s nt fun de.. esp. gals play bball.. is all tyco de lorhz.. sianzzz.. so i left the sch go for tui na at Bedok.. Bedok veri interesting lorhz.. met dis guy hu toked a lot bout zhu chang fen... tokking bout how to cook it n blar.. HAz.. den the tui na guy.. saw mi ankle.. went waa.. budden althou its swollen.. budden nt pain unless u go exert pressure n press it.. den he went to presss it.. push here n dere.. rub n rub.. i'm strong manz.. i din scream.. i juz looked up.. looked sideways n den bit mi teeth.. den he din look at mi.. n juz continued.. gt one part i reallie buay tahan den i started fidgetting. err... budden nvm.. ok.. gtg le.. bb

2005-05-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Haz.. juz 5 mins to blog b4 i siam... aniwae.. i feel veri veri veri veri veir veir veri veri dead... the talentime thing tomoro is gonna b a flop.. y muz dey put on exam dae. yuanxiang was like.. i don care.. i wanna study for exam.. i dunno the lyrics.. blar.. forget it.. at least i tried to get teh CDs n lyrics.. thou i din get all.. ARGH.. n SC meeting tomoro... try receiving more dne 20messages at a go.. dne u reply.. another 5 cum in.. wan to study oso cannot.. mi hand typing message mi eyes looking at the bk.. CHAM.. nvm.. beter go study nw.. n i tink i haven done anithing properly for youth dae... HOW? argh.. i feel dead.i don haf much time left.. JIayou ple.. bb

2005-05-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

Waa.. todae super tired wen it was 10pm.. nvm.. it's 11.14pm nw.. trying to slack a while.. 5mins fers.. b4 cont'd wif all dat mugging.. h.e. was argh. i dunno.. studied 3 chapters at a go.. wapiangs.. i took damn blardy long.. dunno wad i doing lahrz.. hu gives a damn.. i left wif two more chapt for h.e. all studied for test b4.. juz intend to read thru le bax.. no time le.. i'm tired oso.. history.. bout 3+.. read thru oso.. no time le.. i going to die frm dat memorising which requires a WHOLE LOT of brain power.. energy.. which i don haf... coz mi mind is empty.. briain is empty which makes mi BRAINLESS.. haz.. did i sae sumthing.. i diarrhoeaed more den 6times todae. until nw mi stomach still feels cham arh.. i feel like cutting open mi stomach nw arh.. feel so damn cham.. ARGH.. dat nauseousness.. make mi feel like vomitting at nite.. eerr.. k larhz.. go le.. cyaz

2005-05-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

HAz.. todae reallie a very sleepy dae.. i alwaes feel sleepy n lethargic in the morning.. den on the bus will wan to slp but carn get to slp... n during assembly.. forgot to bring specks.. carn c anithing.. so veir boring.. n den reallie fell asleep.. during the video wen lights went off.. n i closed mi eyes.. hmmz... we got the mrks for history, maths, science, home econs todae..
Quite ok for mi larhz.. i don xpect reallie a whole lot frm history.. i managed to get a B4... quite ok le ymy.. mani were so relieved dat dey passed.. i was shocked wen i saw mi mrks.. zoom.. frm a 69 all the wae.. to.... 6~ nvm nvm..coz zhiyin onli got 66.. HAz... maths.. aiyaz.. lan larhz.. nvm.. it's over le ritez.. science.. i realised dat i reallie suk like hell for chem.. n i reallie love bio manz.. HAz.. home econs.. to b honest.. wasn reallie fair.. we got different teachers.. Mdm Lim's class got super high mrks.. wif quite a few scoring 77, 79.. A1s.. while Ms Sandy's class.. which is MI class.. our highest was 72.5.. zhiyin.. dat pro gia.. i lost to her.. but i got A2 as well.. so i quite satisfied.. if i don compare wif Mdm Lim's class.. make mi feel zi bei onli.. the both highest the diff is like .. 6mrks.. wa piangs... i kinda hate Potassium Hydroxide larhz... errr.... i'm onli worried for eng nw.. i calculated chinese.. can scrap thru A2.... eng second test i flopped summary.. so the whole thing flopped.. aiyaz.. nvm larhz.. forget it.. juz mug for History n H.e. fers b4 start worrying bout such stuff.. y get so obseessed n worked up coz of VIP.. if VIP wasn ard.. i doubt i wld haf given a damn.. HAz...
Upper sec. interclass todae.. super interesting.. preliminary rounds nt dat interesting.. if can watch i wanna watch the nxt round.... HAz.. actly i hope 4G soccer can win.. coz i tink Xiangqi mdm plays well manz.. saw her play b4.. pro siaa... i like 4G a lot.. dunno y.. coz a lot of NCOs frm dere bax.. n i heard 4E n 4F having sum gal rivalry stuff over soccer.. tsk.. hmmz.. interclass onli bax.. muz blow up the whole matter marhz.. shall shush shush n go mug H.E. le.. Bb..

2005-05-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

Whoosh.. i'm tired frm all dat mugging... u noe dat trying to mug feeling wen u r tired.. i still got a whole lotta things to do.. undone wif maths supp which i bet i carn even do a sum.. mi mum was like.. waa.. u maths arh.. din noe deteriorate untio so cham.. HAz.. nvm larhz.. as long as i feel like it.. i will buck up nxt semester.. thou i noe it's gonna b tougher.. wen u r tired.. wad do u do.. slack sleep wadever

I decided to slack.. wenta play ard wif horoscope.. fooled ard wif frenster.. den meddling wif windows media player.. n i came across a reallie depressing song... i nid depressing song.. i dunno how to describe mi feelings nw.. wen i look baq nw.. i feel like i haf lost alotta things.. in mi life.. esp. wen i tink of the sec. 1 sqd Ns.. wen we were juz like newborn babies.. dunno how to describe dat kinda feeling i haf nw.. but i can feel mi desponess to get into VIP.. i c sqdmates getting super sick of NP activites.. for one reason.. i noe.. coz we noe dat we r nt bonded as a sqd.. we r divided.. we all r veri aware of dat.. no point escaping frm dat reality.. dat truth.. dat fact.. i'm tired miself.. i noe dat i shldn tink abt dese kinda stuff nw... getting all dat emotional.. sumtimes i juz wish dat sum1 cld juz b dere.. actly i haf alwaes been hoping dat u.. wld alwaes b dere for mi..

Unfortunately. things haf changed a few mths ago.. mi life can b said.. turned 180degrees.. wad i hoped can nver happen again.. but at least.. i noe dat dose moments.. were the best dat i could ever get.. frm the guy i like.. i seriously treasure dose memories.. i haf no energy to carry on. i hope dat u were dere for mi.. to listen to mi pour out mi troubles.. i hoped dat u had alwaes been the one frm the start.. been dere for mi... to hear wad i gotta sae.. dat nite.. wen i was on the verge of telling how i felt.. i held baq.. i knew dat wad i wanted wasn possible.. it was juz bubbles of dreams which sumhow wld burst.. i held on to dat dream.. hoping dat a miracle wld happen.. every single dae.. u were on mi mind.. b4 i slept.. u wld appear in mi mind.. for wks.. i haf stopped mentioning u.. i was numbing miself.. if u suddenly disappeared frm mi life liddat.. i wondered.. mayb i wld juz forget bout u... n wake up frm dose dreams..

Wadever it is.. i noe wad i wan will nver cum true.. all dat stuff.. totally unachievable.. i shld haf know dat things wld nver b dat simple...

2005-05-15T03:35:00.000-07:00

Argh.... i'm seriously tired of liking u.. u may nt noe it.. but i'm suffering.. i'm tired of numbing miself since the past few mths.. for a while i plunge into misery n the nxt moment.. i numb miself.. forget bout everything.. n i promised miself to listen to YunJing n nt let ourselves b bounded by the affairs of the heart.. yeah.. i listened to her.. i tried to forget bout u..but i noe dat deep down i still like u a lot.. i try to avoid toking to u.. meeting u.. looking at u.. n wadsoever i cld haf done to solve all mi prob.. but nw i noe dat i carn do it ani longer.. i'm seriously tired.. n i juz wanna give up...

Todae.. an ok dae.. i'm quite positive towards mi studies... for no particular reason.. i'm ready to flunk n flop if i haf to.. so i'm nt worried.. nor stressed.. sianZZ.. mi mum cares for mi a lot.. i noe it.. reminding mi to study.. n blar.. while i watch the TV for a total of 3hours.. dunno how i gonna walk ard in sch tomoro.. juz keepnig mi fingers crossed dat wadever it is.. i make sure dat mi legs b walkable n runnable by wed.. ARGH.. i dunno.. mi knee seems to haf a veri bad infection.. wif pus oozing out every 15mins.. n it hurts.. n wen i try to wipe it away.. the tissue tries to stick onto it.. super disgusting arh.. n dat blardy ankle.. dunno wad it wans.. rest so much still dowan to b ok.. still dat swollen.. n making mi mum worried.. n i rub it twice a dae super hard k.. i bear wif the pain.. n it still hurts dat much.. i noe dat dis time more serious le.. judging frm how swollen it is.. n dis time.. the left side of the ankle oso hurt.. haiz.. i dunno le. i juz hate it.. i feel stupid getting so demoralised over dese kinda wounds n injuries wen dere r sum pple out dere hu r much more unfortunate den mi.. hu haf to bounded onto a wheelchair for life.. budden i juz ask miself.. y muz all dese happen at dis time.. noe wad i haf for May.. y din it happen earlier. during the Mar hols.. or wadsoever.. y muz it b now.. argh.. forget it.. i sound stupid complaining.. but i can onli complain here.. i don wan ani1 to get worried for mi animore.. sick n tired.. =(

2005-05-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

Todae.. can sae i practically slept the whole dae.. i woke up in the morning.. 3 hours later slept again.. den woke up again 5hours later.. cham.. HAz.. den while chattingw if mq i started crying again.. ARGH.. dun unds miself sumtimes.. veri demoralising arh.. HAz..
I trying to avoid tinking of stuff involving the affairs of the heart.. but its diff k.. haz.. dunno larhz..
Juz wanna make haf the energy n the perseverance to carry on.. n WTH.. mingquan finished 4th!!! alamak.. n Roy 2nd!!!!..waa.. mi heart POOMED lorhz.. wakaoz.. i'm 33th arh.. lost to dem by so much lerhz.. wa piangs.. boo.. haiyaz.. damn sianz larhz..
Ms Tan already exempted mi frm Nafpha dis yr..dat means i dunnid to take NAfaph larhz.. mi GOLD is gone liddat.. wanna noe mi feeling nw.. go try running 2.4km .. finishing it despite injuries n nw sum1 tells u..u cannot take NAFPHA.. i ban u frm taking NAFPHA.. haizz.. budden nvm larhz.. it's oso bcoz she' worried for mi.. n i practise mi SBJ everydae at home till i can jump 15plus nw u noe.. i noe it's still lousy.. but at least it's a C ritez.. Hmmz.. AYS came baq yesterdae.. Sel saes he nt dat Shuai le.. but i tot otherwise lerhz.. n hes skinnier nw.. -_-.. haiyaz.. give up le.. dun wanna tink.. tink le onli feel sad.. yesterdae a reallie BLACK fri larhz.. booo..
N i'm at home nw larhz... Liyan told mi dat dere were rumours spreading dat i'm hospitalized.. -_-" nt so serious larhz.. alamak.. haizz.. shld feel touched by dese concern.. budden i'm getting sadder n sadder.. dunno larhz.. feel super demoralized k.. y did everything hafta happen at dis time.. argh.. forget it..

2005-05-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

HAz.. I'm ok le.. seriously.. todae was quite a gr8 n sad dae larhz huhz.. HAz.. SPA. i flopped. Ms Ng let mi n sel c ans. sheet after dat.. O GOSH.. the answers r .. WHOAAAAA.... IMPRESSIVE..HAz...
dat means i will flunk larhz.. HAz.. but i wu suo wei.. coz i did mi bez le.. i studied so hard for it.. dis is wad i get.. k lorhz.. nvm.. HAz..
den after sch.. played bball.. practised dance.. let mi cum to the main point... while running 2.4km.. I fell.. i din noe it was dat bad.. budden i juz noe dat i sprained mi ankle and hobbled all the wae to the finishing line.. i had the stamina to go faster.. but mi leg reallie bu xing le.. coz left de.. abrasion.. one whole big patch.. i din noe it was reallie bleeding dat badly until at the end.. den the rite ankle. bu zheng qi.. couldn straighten.. so i tried to run on mi left foot till the end.. on the wae.. a lotta pple overtook mi.. dat one wu suo wei.. coz reallie cannot run faster le.. at least i did mi bez ymy.. HAz.. super sad thing is.. i sound mi wound.. n mi ankle hurt like hell.. i started crying.. ARGH.. i din wan to cry de..den i was sitting down.. the St Johns pple attending to mi wound i suppose.. shld b St Johns lahrz.. den i was digging out mud wif mi hand... n squeezing it.. coz i wanted to grab on something.. n dey were super patient n gentle wif mi leg.. dey r super nice larhz.. aniwae.. n the teachers were super paranoid.. n one of the teacher scared mi mum by saeying dat hte angle of mi ankle veri peculiar.. -_-" HAz.. it's swollen onli larhz.. den later gals carried mi.. guys carried mi.. to the van to send mi baq to sch.. reallie touched larhz.. coz dey had a hard time carrying a HEAVY SUPER HEAVY OBESE person like mi.. =(
den at the foyer... i am super touched k.. Geraldine cried for mi.. i am super sorrie gal. it wasn ur fault reallie.. u already pulled mi up le.. it was mi choice to complete the rest of the journey ymy.. althou i noe dat i shldn haf continued.. but i reallie din wanna give up liddat.. den argh.. le-anne n vivian oso wanna cry.. den i again started crying.. coz Geraldine reallie cried until veri cham.. ARGH.. i'm so super sorry.. n thx for the bunch of pple standing beside mi.. encouraging n consoling mi ymy.
After dat.. Ms Tan, Zhiqian n Yunjing sent mi to Changi General Hospital.. Ms Tan was reallie super nice.. she was trying to cheer mi up by being humourous lorhz.. i was reallie in low spirits.. but i smiled larhz.. a lot of stuff was flashing thru mi mind at dat point of time.. i needa study for exams.. o gawds.. how.. i'm demoralised.. but i shall zhen zuo ymy.. it's nt worth it to ruin mi future.. mi VIP juz bcoz of all dese injuries.. HAz.. mon.. i gonna miss Nafpha.. Ms Tan bans mi frm PE for at east 2WEEKS... n Audrey reminded mi of the youth dae dance.. mi her n sel r the solos at the frnt.. i cannot juz miss everything.. n thur n fri.. i needa gao ding the youth dae auditions ymy.. n the publicity proposal i oso needa get it done on wed... dat thing is reallie super duper IMPT.. n NPCC.. DRY SHOOTING!!! Jenny reminded mi at the foyer.. i almost wanted to cry manz.. ARGH.. still got all the 6items of talentime stuff on WeD oso.. HOW how how? hahaz.... one solo, two duets, three groups de.. reallie pathetic arh.. our sqd.. i oso put yuan xiang in for al otta items wifout his consent coz reallie no choice le.. -_-"
Den at the hospital.. put mi on wheel chair.. poor YJ had to carry mi super duper heavy chao ji heavy bag.. thx a lot.. den Ms Tan had to push dis heavy elephant.. -_-" den blar blar blar.. poor YJ n Zhiqian had to wait outside A n E department for mi.. n Ms Tan registered for mi.. den mi mum came.. Ms Tan seemed to haf took a super duper long time to persuade the both of dem to leave.. thx a lot serious.. thx for being dere for mi n everything u haf done.. den mi n mi mum waited for super duper long.. den went in.. we waited for bout 1hour.. the sprain dey din do anithing botu it.. coz dey sae cannot touch it.. leave it alone. haz.. n the nurse super rough wif mi injury arh.. she pour antiseptic like runing water liddat.. she juz use cotton.. walaoz. dab until so hard.. juz rub liddat.. it's open wound nurse!! n she used more den 10pieces of cotton. n den she sprayed antiseptic.. n use her hand to rub lerhz.. alamak.. den of course i freaked out.. antiseptic was so stinging dat i buay tahan le.. she still rub like deres nth dere liddat.. ARGHHhh.. den she take a super duper big special plaster stick on it.. everyting over in less den 2mins.. so fast for wad.. walaoz.. if she more gentle n dab mi wound gently.. jiu hao le.. hahaz.. budden nvm.. at least everything's OVER.. YAYs..
thx a lot for the concern i muz sae.. reallie.. countless of pple i hafta thank.. frm the sports leaders to SJ Johns.. to the teachers n 2Bians.. i noe u all haf done a lot for mi.. n i juz wanna rest well n kip mi spirits high.. budden i wanna cry fers larhz.... i seriously dunno how i gonna get thru wif the activities nxt wk..
n i learnt one thing.. handicapped pple r reallie pitiful.. wen i sat on the wheelchair todae.. n mi leg couldn move.. it reallie felt terrible.. n imagine dose haf to b wheel bound for life.. worse den mi.. crippled.. or their leg amputated.. n dey carn walk normally like us.. it''s reallie pitiful.. a lotta things u carn do.. n the feeling dat wadever u do.. u hafta depend on pple.. even for the simplest thing like going to the toilet.. so.. pple treasure urself.. whether u feel dat u r ugly.. useless or wadsoever.. u shld b happi dat u r one of the fortuante ones.. standing here in dis beautiful world.. normally.. able to lead a normal life.. yeah.. no matter wad.. try notta get sad.. juz b glad dat u r born wifout ani deformities.. =)

2005-05-12T07:52:00.001-07:00

Mi gonna memorise mi chem symbols here...
Ammonium NH4
Nitrate5 NO3
Nitrate 3 NO2
Hydroxide OH
Hydrogen Carbonate HCO3
Sulphate 6 SO4
Sulphate 4 SO3
Carbonate CO3
Phosphate5 PO4

The 5 acids
Hydrochloric Acid HCl
Carbonic Acid H2CO2
Ehtanoic acid(Acetic Acid)
Sulphuric Acid H2SO4
Nitric Acid HNO4

The 4 Alkalis
Sodium Hydroxide NaOH
N THE ONE I WILL NVER FORGET.. WIDELY USED TO REPRESENT SUMONE
Potassium Hydroxide KOH
Calcium Hydroxide Ca(OH)2
Aqueous Ammonia(Ammonia Solution) NH2

still got a lot larhz..i lazy to wirte down aniwae.. hope dey provide periodic table.. coz i carn remember the valency larhz..

Wakaoz.. nt fair.. mi n wenkai testing each other chem stuff.. den i test him so easi de.. den he ask mi wad is
ammonium iron sulphate hydrated crystal's chemical symbol -_-"
n hes singing anjing
5mins 34sec..
HAz.. budden i zhi chi ta.. HAz.. saboed by mi still so nice.. HAz..

2005-05-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

2005-05-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

HAz.. todae was boo.. sleepy dae.. almost falling asleep during sc.. n how gr8 todae was lorhz.. Mrs Lim Boh Lan din cum.. HAz.. n the auditions thing i did was ok.. hahaz.. juz needa make sum amendments.. nw needa gao ding the scoresheet.. but i haven memorised ani thing for chem.. i juz trying to unds.. hahaz.. nvm larhz.. n wen i tried to find pple for SC todae.. onli kana 2 rejections.. n mi sub-committee is kinda biased.. coz coz coz.. i went to put a lot of 2Bians inside.. veri easi to communicate to dem if anithing marhz.. den dey oso noe mi well.. n most of dem willing to help oso.. hahaz.. plus MABEL!! xie xie ni gal.. i will b dere for u too.. HAz.
I did sumthing which displayed how worried i am.. mi chinese results.. i went to calculate the overall.. den haz.. i at fers calculate dat time.. i made an error.. so i realised i got C6!!! HAz.. i was like.. O NO.. wad has happened to mi chinese.. den i look thru again.. den i realisedd... orhh.. made a mistake.. CHEY.. hahaz.. so i coutned again.. ard A2 range larhz.. quite heng le ymy.. den if Li lao shi b a super duper nice person n gimme veri high mrks for kou yu biao da.. den i can reach A1 le lorhz.. budden b4 everything.. i had onli xpected a B3.. so can reach A2 is quite gd for mi le.. judging from mi all D7 chin results..
laz thing laz thing.. b4 i siam.. NP talentime.. our sqd is damn terrible larhz.. wenkai kana saboed.. to go solo.. coz he ard.. den i saw him.. den he din show objections.. so put down lorhz.. den i oso went for solo.. sure flop de.. n duet.. c how despo we r... i haf to take part in two duets.. one wif greg n one wif wenyi.. until todae after sch.. the whole paper was still almost blank.. n the grp one.. dunno how larhz.. stil nobody wanna join.. i put in one whole sqd le.. n i put right here waiting as the song.. we shld remember lorhz.. coz we sang for swearing in... swearing in k.. cannot forget de.. HAz.. n so nice of liyan n shuyi to volunteer for the laz duet.. yuan xiang sabboed weiliang n jingxuan until weiliang veir angry n pissed off.. -_-" kaes.. i gonna siam.. for mi SPA.. enjoy tomoro's SPA manz.. HAz.. cyaz..

2005-05-11T05:46:00.002-07:00

Waa.. super duper tired.. afternoon lessons ended.. Alan came baq.. haz.. liyan smsed mi a million times juz to tell mi.. u_u.. i saw him earlier den u lorhz.. HAz..=) aniwae.. let mi tok bout lessons k.. Lit. test.. i wrote one whole paper shorter dis time.. don ask mi y larhz.. i juz noe can pass jiu shi le.. if fail i tink mi overall lit. is flunk.. i tink lit is cheemology.. n i kinda hating it more n more k.. esp. merchant of venice.. walaoz.. carn bliff u all did dat wifout feeling ani guilt at all.. shan elaborate.. bleahz
Chem arh.. haizz.. i tink Ms Ng fails as a sc teacher arh.. she teach until whole class go blur... n i don trust her wrods k.. I WAN BAQ MI BIO.. tell u k.. mi sc can actly can a super duper high A1... n nw if dat blardy chem test + spa.. i tink.. haizz.. can go die liaoz.. still got history exam n h.e. exam.. wad u xpect frm mi.. n we r nt done wif one of the tests yet..
N god dealt wif mi wif another blow todae.. try dis... SC meeting wif two teachers Ms Yeo + Ms Loh for TWO whole hours.. u try sitting dere.. toking to dem bout youth dae stuff for two whole hours.. n wa piangs.. carn dey juz find more pple for the committee.. concert enuff to kill mi.. still got publicity for Dunmanian Idol.. so mi haf decided to rope in more pple for mi sub-committee.. hope wadever proposals we do.. approve.... go smoothly.. dat dae oso.. b a success.. n Ms Loh is gr8 @ pressuring larhz huhz.. the dunmanian Idol one is cool lorhz.. i went thru the forms.. den saw of the mdms de form.. HAz... the prize is cool lorhz.. so pple.. jiayou jiayou.. the lower sec. 1 is juz fine larhz.. i feel stressed.. coz mi eyes r super sleepy nw.. still got proposals to hand in tomoro.. wa piangs..
I did sumthing which almost made mi kana caught by Mrs George.. u c.. SCs haf to change into uni rite after recess.. yeah.. i alwaes do dat.. den bsides mi.. the rest of the SCs will wear uni over PE.. wen dey c the teacher cuming.. yeah.. dats fine wif mi.. but i did the other wae round..coz after sch wanna play bball.. so i wore mi PE over mi uni.. HAz.. cool ritez.. budden it's hot k.. wen i took out mi PE.. mi whole blouse was soaked... den afternoon.. i did it again.. Mrs George was doing inspections.. she din notice lorhz.. i'm clever ymy.. HAz.. i'm scared le larhz.. SC getting so super strict.. n all the Exco hold so mani meeting discussing SCs.. n i'm afraid of Elaine!!!. She blacklists a lotta pple lorhz.. even Aik Siong doesn blacklist mi wen i told him teh rules i broke lorhz.. Elaine is scary..
yeah.. so gawd.. gimme the power n energy to do mi bez for the lectures which is due tomoro.. the youth dae proposal.. SPA.. n let mi unds maths.. i carn stand Mrs Lim animore le larhz.. argh..kaes.. bb

2005-05-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

2005-05-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

Niamm.. decided to forget bout everything. i got much better stuff to do larhz huhz.. i juz wanna.. b strong n kip things going.. coz life isn't dat smooth-sailing after all ymy.. HAz.. i feel like i juz betrayed a fren u noe.. i did sumthing i shldn do bhind her baq.. haizzzz.. nvm... it was done for a good intention aniwae.. bleahz..
mi gotten over it le.. dis time it's fast.. but mi head is hurting like hell nw.... i feel terrible... argh.. nvm.. i hafta jiayou.. chiong for dis n dat n blar blar blar.. kaes.. gtg le.. bb

2005-05-09T04:48:00.000-07:00

Dis template.. haz.. at least better den the previous one.. actly i feel kinda useless.. coz no. 1.. todae chem.. every1 complained dat dey din unds wad Ms Ng was toking bout.. so did I.. i'm really having mi doubts in Ms Ng.. n nw she saes dat whetehr we unds or not.. we haf to unds.. wad bout slow pple like mi.. i super dimwif in CHEMISTRY.. n i carn blifff pple out dere sae dat chem is the easiest wen BIO is like a hundred times easier den Chem... tsk tsk... No. 2.. maths lesson.. GRAPHS.. wth is Mrs Lim Boh Lan toking bout? aniwae has ani idea.. y did Ms Siao hafta go.. hahaz.. budden nvm larhz..mi tuition teacher shld b starting on dat chapt. super soon
Den after sch... i took 30 wif YJ n Sel.. we were like toking sum stupid crap n finally decided to go to Singapore Post.. haz.. i almost wanted to sae Singapore Police Post... aniwae.. sel wanted to eat macs.. den i wan to eat KFC.. den YJ dunno wan to eat wad.. so we walked one whole big round.. walked n walked n walked.. ponder n ponder n ponder.. argue n argue n argue.. den wen we step into foodcourt.. mi n YJ changed our minds n wanted to eat JAP food.. den Sel still wan to eat Macs.. HAz.. so we the super nice pals.. pei ta.. in the end..we wanted to takeaway den eat at the waterfall dere... den wen YJ stepped into KFC.. she wanted to eat KFC oso.. -_-" so we decided to ask Sel to smuggle macs inside.. den the KFC woman sae.. no macs allowed.. so poor sel had to go out alone n eat.. den mi n YJ jiu take all the food.. carry it out to pei Sel.. HAz..den we eat n eat n eat.. mi poor pure lime waterbottle.. kana drowned in water again.. HAz.. second time le k.. summore is wif the both of dem AGAIN.. hahaz.. dis was wad happened.. YJ put the waterbottle bhind mi.. on purpose.. den she was pushing mi to lean baq.. den i lean more baq n more baq.. den the water PLORP.. fall into the waterfall.. den it drifted futher n further away.. den Sel the saver of waterbottle once again.. went to save it again.. HAz.. don ask mi how.. dis was wad happened larhz.. she took out her socks n shose.. den she stepped into the "pool"n den wen she tried to grab mi waterbottle.. she missed her footing.. n PLORP.. she oso fall into the pool.. den she ended up swimming her wae up to "shore" n i was so super grateful to her dat i gave her mi zinger burger.. den she was drenched to the skin.. so we went into This Fashion n bought her new clothes to wear.. veri cheap ones.. 4bucs for the blouse n 5 bucks for the skirt.. HAz.. yeah.. met sel's n YJs snr MERyl
let mi declare YJ to b mi special fren frm nw on oso.. HAz.. coz she complained laz time y she nt inside..budden nw i tink she reallie is a true fren oso lorhz.. althou she din jump into the pool to save mi pure lime waterbottle.. HAz..
And once again.. teh day is saved.. Thx to Selina Chan Jia Jia..

2005-05-08T04:00:00.000-07:00

NiAmmmm.. Mi completed all hmk.. ~CHeERz~ nt time to sit baq n relax yet.. muz mug hard ymy.. kou yu biao da is u noe.. practised properly le... juz haf a feeling.. tomoro wen i stand up dere.. n c Shun Jie's smiley face at mi.. i will burst out laffing.. n wenkai is bound to sae.. WALAOZ wen he hear mi toking lorhz.. HAz.. all dat bad tots cuming out.. but i shall kip dat smile dere ymy.. i don wanna flop kou yu biao da..=)
I made sumthing for mi mum.. HAz.. quite simple but i tink she likes it.. its the tot dat counts ymy.. HAz..
I promise to treasure mi life ymy.. n stop getting sick of everything.. dunno y larhz.. wen i tink of the SC jobs awaiting mi.. feel like fainting on the spot.. bleahz.. wad kinda stupid attitude riteZ.. i juz needa to tell miself to wake up n stop living in mi dreams le.. HaZ.. Pisces are DREAMY pple.. hahaz.. K larhz.. cyaz..
Big Big World by Emilia is nice.
Go to Media Guide as in the one in Windows Media Player n type in "Big Big World" n click on the 7th one..HaZ..

2005-05-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

HaZ.. hmmz.. mi promise to mug reallie hard for the nxt 10daes.. tilll the exams r over..
Mayb i shld abstain frm MSN messenger..
Aik Siong said how tired he was juz nw.. hmmz.. it's reallie long wen sumbody told mi in the face liddat how tired he or she was lorhz.. ani1 wld juz hold it dere.. put it in the blog n nver tell ani1 bax..
Hes tied down by SC i guess.. lotsa committments.. althou i'm kinda sad for him budden i bliff dat he will get his 7A1s.. or mayb even more.. he juz needa jiayou jiayou n jiayou u noe..
Actly i'm still tired larhz.. i dunno y.. budden since i already told him nt to tink so much n JUZ DO IT.. i shall juz do it miself.. HAz..actly lifes a totally sianzation.. going to sch everydae.. facing all dat work.. ~yawn~ budden i gonna get history done properly ymy
Mi promise.. no more den 30mins of chatting on msn messenger..
Muz mug for history n h.e. everydae.. I DON CARE.. MUZ MUG MUG N MUGGGGG
Muz nt feel sad.. I PROMISED MISELF A LONG TIME AGO.. DECADES AGO RITEZ.. HAZ...
MUUUUZZZ... I DUNNO LE.. .. k larhz.. shall tink of mother's dae THING.. hahaz.. nitez..

2005-05-07T06:39:00.000-07:00

HaZ.. todae totally slack manz.. i took nap in the afternoon.. coz i'm bleeding.. HaZ... feeling sleepy n woozy nw... ~YaWn~ but at least i studied 2 chapters of chinese.. i swear like hell k.. i gonna pass wif FLYING colours dis time.. mi chinese is nt lan.. n i finally memorised mi kou yu biao da le.. YAYs.. budden mi biao yin will alwaes go haywire.. as in di yi sheng bcum di er sheng.. den i will struggle like hell.. but nvm.. i still got tomoro..
Sunburnt effects nt good arh.. bliff mi.. u tink its gr8 at fers.. fers symptom is skin peeling.. dat one no big deal.. budden peel until quite cham lerhz actly.. den after dat.. peel finish already.. ur skin.. super tight.. until u wanna smile feel like u gonna get wrinkles liddat.. HAz.. budden nvm.. deres a price to get tanned...
O gosh.. 2moro's mother's dae peeps.. i dunno wad MI gonna do for MI mum.. HaiZZZ.. i gonna stay up tonite n get sumthing for her sumhow..
Aquos rok... the camp kinda woke mi up sumhow larhz... i tink in mi whole life the camp i enjoyed most is dis camp bax.. the one dat kinda changed mi.. n woke mi up.. revitalised n rejuvenated mi..
Dat simple happiness i derive outta it.. frm everything i haf done in the camp.. is reallie gr8..
If life cld b dat simple..
n we juz live life dat wae..
like dose we dream in our dreams...
wifout the pressure n stress we face in sch..

Aniwae.. mi swear le.. nver get troubled wif the affairs of the heart.. nver to let anithing happen.. nver allow steading to happen.. u noe.. u muz haf sum self-control.. mani pple haf fell into dis trap.. n dey suffered frm the effects of it. regretting frm the start.. i saw it wif mi own eyes.. its short term happiness.. aniwae i'm SC oso.. kana blacklisted can get sacked immediately.. yeah..
Hmmz.. i saw how u changed.. u weren't like the person u were b4... was it bcoz of dat relationship.. i don noe.. but wadever it is.. hmmz... i reallie hope the bez of u.. haizz.. i dunno larhz.. y do pple get so obsessed wif relationships n carn recover frm it.. =(

2005-05-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

Haz.. i had bad dreams juz nw.. nt nitemares larhz.. budden is quite bad dreams.. i dreamt dat i flunked mi chinese test again.. ARGH..ahahahaz.. muz b getting the jitters.. n mi kou yu biao da oso flopped like wad..HAz.. n mani otehr stuff i dreamt abt.. forget liaoz.. onli remember dese two.. hahaz
n mi forgot to announce.. mi section is
AQUOS..
we rok
Mr Dunman goes to
Andrew of 2F........ hahahahhahahahaz.. sumbody shld b smiling wen shes reading mi blog.. =P
Ms Dunman goes to
Charlotte of dunno wad class.. hahaahhaahahahaz..
n the best camp grp is grp 18!!! Yunjing's grp... =)=)=)
slackiest grp award goes to mi grp larhz.. hahahaz.....
Mi got sunburnt k... n i tink sunburnning is cool lorhz.. budden qutie pain lerhz.. mi rite hand darker den left hand n got sunburnt.. den face.. sum parts n the nose got sunburnt.. face dat part.. the skin each part.. peeling off... budden i don mind larhz.. nt dat i will bcum disfigured or wad.. hahaz.. coz i like mi skin colour nw.. hahaahz.. =)
ok.. enuff.. nitez..

2005-05-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

HaZ.. level camp is over.. it was reallie gr8 fun ymy.. =) aniwae.. mi advice to pple.. nver try to commit suicide k.. the feeling is terrible.. terrible.. n REALLIE TERRIBLE!! coz i was the onli gal hu went up the u noe.. bout 5 storey log.. n i din dare to stand up wen i reached the top.. coz the surface area so small n i was like saying.. i wanna give up.. let mi down.. i'm so scareeddd... HAZ.. den the coach sae..bu yao fang qi fou ze dui bu qi zi ji.. hahaz.. k lorhz..but makes sense ritez... i was trembling liaoz.. n the log was trembling wif mi as well.. den i took so long juz to go up to the top.. hahaz.. den frm dere u muz jump to grab a sum kinda bar thing.. den i was standing on top.. mi heart wan to pop out of mi mouth liaoz.. den i stood dere like 10mins.. dare nt to jump down.. den mi grp were encouraging mi.. budden i still no courage.. den finally.. i jumped.. i din grab.. i juz jump out 0.5m out.. mi heart is like wan to jump out liaoz..dat part is the most painful part of that thing.. but it was fun ymy.. haz.. so... nver commit suicide k.. feeling is terrible..
den the dae went on.. nightwalk totally sianz.. dis yr LC de is much much much better u noe.. coz the NCOs are better at pretending ghosts.. HAz.. slept in tents.. stuffy onli.. but sleepable.. den second dae.. totally slack.. went for raft construction.. quite ok larhz... aniwae.. i tink the bez part of everything is the campfire!!!
Our campfire item was to merge wif Grp 5.. den we were supposed to dance in pairs.. n sum gals muz partner guys.. n the dance steps are reallie cute u noe... den i partner dis super tall but quite shuai guy frm mi grp.. he's quite shy ymy.. budden at least wen needa hold hands he din freak out.. coz gt other pairs.. the wae dey hold the hands little finger touch little finger.. HAz.. den actual performance.. everyone FLOPPED.. HAz.. but wad u xpect.. we tried to learn everything in 15mins.. budden it was fun ymy.. coz mi n him was blur n we juz do everything we noe lorhz.. den other grps performance r reallie gd as well but i still tink mi section is the bez.. HAz.. campfire was totally gr8 fun aniwae.. atmosphere was high.. spirits were high... n the instructors reallie created the atmosphere.. but unfortunately.. mi grp in the section was the most unenthu.. the slackiest one... HAz.. coz our guys dead.. the gals tried to speak up. den sum dead as well.. =P n our instructor don reallie give a damn bout us.. whether we cheer or nt.. she doesn care.. n shes so slack as well lorhz.. n we got the worst instructor in the section as well lorhz.. =( hu was outcasted by the other instructors n staff as well.. sad ritez.. HAz.. but nvm.. at least we r considered quite bonded as a grp.. n the guys actly enjoyed dancing wif the gals for campfire marhz.. so its still a SUCCESS... Yays..
kaes.. i'm off to bed.. Haz

2005-05-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm scared... dat insecurity in mi.. i guess no1 will ever unds bax...
it's so scary.. y muz u alwaes do dat to mi..
u noe the emotional torture we r going thru..
the fear in us..
we dunno wad u gonna do nxt..
i'm seriously scared..
y muz dis alwaes happen...
argh..... i doubt ani1 can unds k......
i'm so worried nw...
y muz u alwaes make a mountain out of a molehill..
i'm scared...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i'm scared larhz..
i'm seriously scared.. mi heart is pounding so hard.....
after wad u did on mi bdae..
i haf since haf dis phobia dat no1 will ever unds....
forget it......................

as i said.........
i'm so sick of everything.....

2005-05-03T01:45:00.000-07:00

HaZ.. todae is so shuangz ymy.. i wasn paying attention the concert while in the control room lorhz.. i was totally slacking.. actly the com club pple din even nid mi n Yingying.. i tink we went dere to u noe.. enjoy coolness of 3fans blowing directly into our faces..x) HaZ.. but EDS dance was nice ymy.. n oso i was meddling wif Gary's laptop listening to music.. Haz.. n tong hua's MTV was nice ymy.. but quite sad larhz.. =(
Den went home wif Xr, Aud, Junya n Jenny.. den took MRT wif Aud.. i eating loads nw.. mayb i shld go baq to dieting.. it's either i binge or diet.. aud was totally shocked at mi appetite manz.. n laz nite i reallie binged coz xin qing bu hao.. yeah.. but i forget all bout it liaoz.. coz it's nt mi fault ritez.. nt dat i made u cry.. i tormented u.. i tortured u.. i traumatized ur life.. tot u were a strong person.. argh.. u wan the past.. go n get it urself.. i nt gonna help u wif it..
O finally.. tomoro's level camp.. HAZ.. i'm looking forward to it.. coz i tink mi grp rox.. wif Chunying n Lyon inside.. i seem to b leaving lyon out larhz huhz.. i mean coz.. chunying n mi r together.. Aiyaz.. shall tink of a wae so dat she won feel so left out ymy..=P
Yeah.. it's 5pm.. bb.......

2005-05-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

Yeah.. so all u wan is the past ritez.. n too bad u carn get it.. shan elaborate.. coz yeah.. i'm upset.. thou i promised miself nt to b upset bout anithing.. i'm making mislef even more upset nw larhz huhz...
Hmmz.. i shall juz let feelings flow free here.. the sense of lonliness came baq juz nw... i'm totally.... i dunno.. i was bathing juz nw.. coz i juz felt like washing awae all mi troubles.. i closed mi eyes.. i felt so scared to open it.. i dunno y. but i'm juz afraid to open mi eyes n c wad lies ahead of mi.. i'm reallie scared..
I dunno wads happening.. but i reallie hope dat all dese will cum to an end.. coz i'm tired.. tired of dealing wif dese kinda stuff.. wad wrong haf i done..
All i wan is somebody to hug nw.. to juz let mi hug closely n as long as i like.. argh forget it.
I'm dreaming again.....
y am i getting so super depressed..
it's all thx to u
mayb i shld juz blame miself for it.....
but it's still u.....
it's still ultimately ur fault..
wad the hell haf i done in the fers place
y am i getting so worked up nw..
dat i feel like crying..
i'm crying
finally...
y am i doing dis again.. wen i promised miself nt to get upset a few daes ago............

2005-05-02T00:30:00.001-07:00

HmmZ... acme online to slack awhile.. coz.. i juz sat a total of 2 and a half hours at mi table completing the 5 graphs.. i actly closed the windows n door.. n it was so super stuffy.. den i juz draw n draw.. at least the answers r crrect larzh huhz? graphs can b tedious sia.. HAA
Argh.. i realised deres so much undone hmk for mi.. i gonna prepare mi kou yu biao da as well.. i gonna tok bout bu dao weng.. u noe dat thing.. wen u push it down.. topple it.. kick it or hit it.. it still cums up again.. HA.. interesting ritez..i muz tink dat i can write mi kou yu biao da on it.. yeah i can.. no matter how lan mi chinese is.. acly li lao shi is super nice to mi le u noe.. she wanted to change mi date to the laz of the class coz she noes dat mi chinese standard is shit arh.. n i carn even speak properly.. den later i realised.. o gawds.. it's on exam dae.. so she pushed it baq to the normal date... nice ritez... HA.. yeah.. gonna scram b4 mi mum cums nagging at mi again.. =)

2005-05-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

2005-05-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah.. b4 i end dis dae.. i noe dis is the 3rd entry le.. but wad i juz wanna sae is dat.. i noe dat dis thing doesn involve mi in the fers place.. till nw.. it still doesn.. i misintepreted.. but sumhow.. i'm still upset.. for the pple ard mi.. i noe i haf no rite to comment coz i shld juz stay out of dis.. yeah.. i shall nt interfere in dis frm nw on.. even if it concerns Sel.. n ani1 else close to mi.. i swear..
Mi n Junya were toking bout u noe.. relationships juz nw.. yeah.. mi Mr Rite haven turned up yet.. shld i feel sad for miself or wad.. coz till nw.. i tink the person i haf truly liked in mi whole life is Yuen Siang.. it's true.. dey alwaes sae dat the fers one u lurve is probably u reallie love... the 2nd one u fall in love wif is probably the one u don truly love but u like him him coz he likes u.. but i still bliff in true love.. wen two persons truly like each other.. but wadever it is.. i shall concentrate on mi studise for nw.. n hmmz.. one year has passed so quickly.. i still remember at dis pt of the year.. gossips were still hot like wad bout BLAR.. n yeah.. its Yuen Siang's bdae n Alan's bdae.. Alan's one is on the 18th of May n Yuen Siang's one is on the 28th of May.. o gawds.. wad perfect memory i haf.. as i said.. sum things carn b forgotten.. he has a galfren nw.. n i haf given up on him as well.. i'm nt looking.. nor am i waiting.. nor am i hoping. i am nt doing anithing for dat person to turn up.. coz i juz wanna concentrate on mi studies.. Yeah.. exams r cumign.. i swear i gonna put frenships.. blar blar stuff aside.. n concentrate.. n i gonna get onli 5hrs of slp frm nw on.. no matter how tired i am.. i shall nt give in.. haz... i'm learning frm Ms Ng. CHeerZ.. NiteEz..

2005-05-01T04:41:00.000-07:00

Ha... i was so sianz diao juz nw.. den i went to get mi sling bag.. wenta stuff all the books into it.. closed the windows.. locked the hosue.. n lugged dat converse bag all the wae till macs.. i walked so super fast.. den whizz.. in less den 3mins.. i was at macs.. slurping mi milo.. n sitting dere looking at pple walking past mi.. HA.. den i felt tired.. hahaz. so i started smsing.. wad a dae.. but i was super tired larhz huhz..
. 2hrs later.. i packed mi bag.. went to the supermarket n for no reason.. i started walking ard enjoying music.. coz i sianz diao le larhz...shall go dere tomoro again.. if i feel like it..so kaobei lorhz.. every1 so buzz.. a whole bunch of pple got 3rd lang.. den all GG pple unavailable... let mi c hu else lorhz.. the rest all don go out n haf fun de lorhz.. all stay at home to chill out de.. SIANZ DIAOZ.. mayb i shall go xr house n chill out a while fers.. HA.. mayb i shld go organise a meeting wif Jesslyn for the Youth Dae since Ms Yeo isn't happie ritez? Hehez..

2005-04-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

Hmmz... i noe dat no matter wad i sae to u nw.. it wld nt save anithing.. but i haven done anithing wrong 2wards u.. wadever u may sae.. no1 has done anithing wrong towards u.. i noe dat u r referring to mi n sel.. sumhow i noe it.. but y muz it b us.. wen did we make such a big difference to ur life.. wen did haf the honour of hafing such a great impact on ur life.. in the fers place.. thou we reallie treated u as a fren.. i tink u din treat us as anithing.. in ur heart we r nth.. i nt gonna sae further coz i don wanna provoke u.. u can sae anithing of us.. coz we haven done anithing against our conscience.. coz its probably dat u won get wad we r saeing..
Yeah.. i already said i shall nt get upset over anithing dat shall happen to mi.. the prob doesn lie wif mi aniwae.. yeah.. i'm still happi.. waa.. a lotta babies born ard dis date manz..May Dickson Zu Xin Yu Jia Yong Cheng Cynthia blar blar blar.. ESP. Yongcheng..we're still waiting for ur return.. cum baq k.. we haven give up hope on u.. i can continue folding a million stars for u as long as u cum baq k.. =)
Yeah.. end of entry.. i shal go study.. =)

2005-04-30T06:41:00.000-07:00

Wad a total slackish dae i had.. yeah. y r pple getting so super depressed over life huhz.. i onli get veri introverted n distracted wen i feel super out of place.. budden.. u noe.. i haf decided.. i'm nt gonna get depressed over life n treasure it for wad it is.. i don haf ani worries u noe.. i dowan to grow up n look baq n ask miself.. y din i treasure dose daes wen i was so free of worries n money matters n blar blar blar.. coz i tink we pple do grow up.. start steading.. working.. start a familee.. i tink deres a whole lot of worries n prob dere.. n i tink we wld haf died out of depression by den if juz continue to b depressed over quite a simple life we wanna live but make it so complicated ourselves.. yeah.. life can b simple NO MATTER WAD... even pple out dere r complicated.. but its dem.. its nth to do wif u.. yeah ritez? at least if u live a happi n fufilling life nw.. wen u look baq nxt time.. u will feel dat at least u had a cherishable n happi teenagehood.. n yeah.. no pt getting stressed up over studies le bax.. chemistry if i carn make it den forget it lorhz.. juz do mi bez suan le.. but i gonna try hard k.. coz i reallie love chem as much as i luv bio.. nth can b too difficult for mi yeah.. wad else is dere for mi to worry nw actly.. studies.. nt much of a prob.. mayb family bax.. frenship doesn reallie matter to mi.. a whole bunch of frenz out dere.. don wanna tink whether u all r reallie sincere or true to mi ya noe.. i shld juz tink of simplicity.. i'm juz tired of family stuff bax.. shall juz leave things as it is bax.. HAHAZ..
Wells.. ani depressed person wif an empty soul reading mi blog nw.. n for no reason u get depressed over frenship.. o get a life manz.. at least u haven done anithing agaisnt ur conscience.. SMILE.. dese r all so trivial stuff compared to dose hu died in the Tsunami.. dose living in Cambodia and India wif no food to eat.. dose hu r so poor hu haf nth to wear. u shld b happi if u get to read dis.. coz u it shows dat u r already rich enuff to lead a comfortable life.. stop worrying b4 u die tomoro n regret nt living the laz daes of ur life to the fullest.. HAHAZ.. wad crap i'm toking.. yeah.. n no1 is stupid.. no1 is a born failure.. no1 is a slacker.. its the person's attitude k.. no1 is ever slack.. a failure.. stupid.. its dat person's attitude u noe. u choose to b the person u wan to b.. like mi.. i enjoy slacking the whole dae out.. to put it in a nice wae.. i'm destressing n relaxing.. HAHAZ.. aniwae wads wrong wif slackign.. at least u getta enjoy life larhz huhz.. don slack n later start regretting.. at least u got to enjoy.. n no1's stupid k.. even a person hu flunks all his or her subjects.. it doesn u r stupid lorhz.. y get so inferior lorhz.. n god gave u a life n u r looking down on urself liddat.. haf u tot of the babies borned of deformities n couldn go to sch to receive proper education yet still living so happily.. fail sad over results.. o fine.. after dat juz forget bout everything.. mayb Towner Garden's kids were ignorant of everything.. mayb juz mayb.. but i look up to dem bcoz of their attitude.. dat bunch of kids.. wif dat unexplainable simple innocence in dem.. ahahz.. Yeah..so nver ever look down on urself.. n juz live happily..yeah..
I SWAER DAT FRM DIS MOMENT ONWARDS.. I SHALL NVER GET UNHAPPI WIF ANITHING N LIVE LIFE WIF OPTIMISM.. NO MATTER WAD I MEET IN LIFE IN FUTURE.. I SHALL TAKE IT IN MI STRIDE.. COZ I REMEMBER.. MI N YUNJING DID RESEARCH ON HAPPINESS N I SHALL DISPLAY THE QUOTES HERE..
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Happiness is a Swedish sunset -- it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.

Hahhaz.. make great sense ritez.. dats wad our artpiece is trying to convey to u.. dat simple piece of artpiece actly bears such cheemology.. hahaz.. thx to Yunjing the BRAINY..

2005-04-29T23:35:00.000-07:00

i woke up at 2pm.. don needa go cafe le.. hahaz.. can juz study at home u noe..i read some1's blog.. dat person is sum1 i noe..n dat person i suppose.. shld noes mi as well.. well.. i tink he makes super duper great sense.. guys can get so philosophical sumtimes u noe.. laz nite was hot sia.. i din even touch mi blanket n kicked onto the floor.. woke up a few times to pick up mi pillow which i kicked down oso.. AHAHAZ.. dats y mi mum dread slping bside mi.. she will kana kicked by mi.. i slp on shuang ren chuang u noe.. or else i will roll here n dere while slping n topple off the bed.. hahaz..
i haf nth much to sae actly.. dunno y i came to blog.. o ya.. i remember y le.. i tried to listen to sly' song n take down the lyrics.. but carn marhz.. den i tried to find it on the net oso carn find.. so if ani1 has it.. juz send mi k.. the song title is yan zhong de yong yuan..
dis song totally roks i tink..
Dats y i sae...
Sylvester rok..
=)

2005-04-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

O gawds.. i haf straightened out mi tinkings did i sae.. y did i end dat entry suddenly.. coz mi sis wanted to use the com.. i'm a nice person to let her use the com.. den i juz got it baq.. yays.. yeah.. mi prince charming haven turned up yet larhz.. mayb i still carn get over yuensiang. but onli got dat teeny weeny feeling ritez.. it doesn make a difference.. yeah.. lifes nt bout love love n more love aniwae.. so y shld i give a damn bout it.. o did i sae.. rumours r spreading dat i'm steading.. alamak.. dey siaoz arh.. u all better shaddup b4 i get blacklisted for SC.. hahaz.. jocelyn told mi.. thx gal.. at least i noe wads going round the level.. actly i tot of dis suddenly.. if i was suddenly left alone in dis world.. wad will i do.. mi family gone.. mi frnez.. mi teachers.. mi everything.. i tink i will cry to death.. so i shld feel fortunate dat i can hear mi bro crying n mi mum screaming ritez.. o can u bliff it.. after all dat skipping of meals.. i haven lost much weight.. sad sia.. but i haven put on ani weight.. mi metabollism rate is declining.. hahaz.. i sound so obsessed.. but i'm like u noe 7kg heavier den Bernice wen i'm onli 4cm taller den her.. dis is siaoz..
argh.. rae came to mi to ask b take charge for the Youth dae thing.. well... tot bout it.. yeah.. i noe her real motive.. to push all the work to mi n make mi b her scapegoat.. so dat she has more tiem to study for the exams.. yeah.. so wad i did.. smsed her n said.. i carn help u.. i'm super sorry.. pleasee.. u r the chairperson.. b responsible lorhz.. wad exactly is a true fren.. i haf none u bliff.. i onli haf gd frenz.. nvm.. actly i tink blood is thicker den water.. yeah... wadever it is i wan the bez of mi family.. n of course miself.. mayb i'm a nobody to everybody.. but at least i treasure miself n treatmiself as somebody.. hahaz..
n i'm super sorry Ms Ng.. i din mean to b so stupid in chem.. but i carn make it u noe.. i noe i carn unless i try real hard.. i don haf the potential in chem.. i gonna major in biology i tink wen i go Uni or wadsoever.. dats mi forte.. i can juz study for it n get high mrks but chem arh.. wenkai studied during recess which is one period b4 the test n got 1mrk higher dne mi.. n i was slogging for it like more den 5hours.. trying to get everything rite.. yeah.. i'm stupid.. but at least i tried u noe..i haf doubts nw whether shes reallie a gd teacher.. shes hardworking.. but the clever ones like Le-anne, Rachel, Jasvin n Yunjing all haf problem unds her n the NU REN sitting bside mi oso don unds.. HAHAZ... dey r nt slow lorhz.. dey r smart pple.. n dey don unds.. so the prob may nt lie wif us after all.. but i'm sorry for bombarding u wif so much questions n actly requested for special remedia wen u rejected it.. i dowan to flunk science u noe.. so i shall jiayou in Chem.. u noe.. chemistry is a veri nice word.. it can mean chemistry between two persons.. got meaning de lorhz.. so romantic.. so i shall learn to love it for wad it is.. =)

2005-04-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

Todae was ok larhz.. decided nt to dwell on the past.. yeah.. i was super distracted during NP activity.. i did everything wrongly.. but wen i reported to the CI dat time.. i forgot to salute.. but nvm.. coz Yiting mdm din even reprimand mi or blame mi.. shes a nice person sia.. shes super lenient wif us i tink.. but coz shes our Sqd N laz time marhz.. =) yeah.. i did a lotta wrong things oso.. argh.. nvm.. forget bout it larhz.. coz i forgot bout everything i haf learnt le.. n i dunno y so tired larhz.. sumthings wrong.. but nvm.. shall concentrate on the youth dae n lectures thing for SC.. i noe i carn get both done perfectly.. but at least i muz commit miself to the fullest ymy.. n do something properly.. Np if i don do well it's miself onli marhz.. the worst i feel sad.. but if i don do properly for SC.. i can go die le.. aniwae.. Ms Yeo is unhappi wif hte main committee.. yeah.. i'm nt sure y oso.. y it was supposed to b 9 pple n onli the four of us haf becumed ICs.. argh.. nvm.. at least i realised dat ATC doesn clash wif SC camp nw..
N mi mum is screaming the roof nw again.. yeah.. i haf decided to take it easi.. but i'm worried 4 mi sis ymy.. mi sis has mixed wif bad frenz.. n nw something has happened nw.. yeah.. o gawds.. i got a feeling shes nt gonna get into NUS.. n worst still.. shes nt concentrating on her studies.. shes gonna flunk PSLE i tink.. haizz.. nvm.. i carn do anithing bout it oso.. she is happier if i don tok n nag at her.. it's beyond mi control.. i shall nt feel sad over it larhz huhz.. her teacher oso warned her of her frenz le.. i dunno bax.. -_-"
Yeah. i gained mi mum's approval to go cafe to study.. at least can get sum peace.. n juz slacked dere n do art.. hahaz.. yeah..gtg le.. cyaz..

2005-04-28T03:49:00.000-07:00

Ahaz.. i shld sound happi.. but if i wanna sound sad n stressful its mi freedom ya noe... but mani pple commented dat i sound super stressed up.. so i shall learn to relax.. survived the two tests le.. i mean one and a half test.. tomoro still got Eng test.. jiu ming arh.. mi eng don reallie suk u noe.. actly i muz gain baq the optimism in life.. coz i need a lotta motivation n drive to get through wif SPA.. sc test.. maths test. .chinese test.. kou yu biao da.. the exams... all the projects.. i needa survive all dese... n i can. if i bliff n b positive.. i shld slp early todae u noe.. but i got boots to polish n to translate english into chinese work to do.. i dunno how long i wil take lorhz.. O gawds.. but i'm tired le larhz.. survived dese four daes.. slacked two daes.. onli tue n wed din slack.. todae slacked the afternoon..
N i was bombarding Ms Ng wif millions n thousands of question todae during sc. coz i don unds.. argh.. i pity her u noe.. she slps at 1am everydae n at 3.30am on sun nites.. poor gal.. i shall try dat.. i tink shes a veri gd teacher.. she can still b so motivated n optimistic.. i shall treat her as mi mo fan sheng.. i shall try slping at 1am everydae working n workign.. n at 3am on sun nite.. hahaz.. i sound stupid.. but i mean it k.. dunno how she still enjoys life.. thru eating bax.. hahaz.. i nver imply anithing hoh.. i din cry during sc todae.. i juz felt veri lost.. so i shall seek help frm sum1.. hahaz.. c which person free n willing to b mi victim.. -_-" n i shall go to the cafe on mi own to study on weekends.. shall enjoy the peace by miself.. frm mi bro n family screaming the roof off everytime.. dis kinda environment totally sux k.. cum live @ mi house for one nite.. u shall try.. i don care le larhz. move to condo zhi hou i shall go downstairs n study by the poolside till midnite den go baq home.. to escape frm mi mum's claws n bro's harrassment. n did i sae.. mi Auntie is invading into mi privacy.. she looks thru mi drawers wen i'm nt at home.. walaoz.. n she touch mi things dat i make.. n she reports to mi mum on anithing i do.. if i don eat mi breakfast.. she will complain... i don call mi mum wen i reach home.. she oso complain.. den mi mum willl nag.. WTH.. u noe wad is privacy.. can i haf sum freedom.. n mi mum trying to show mi sum unneeded concern.. she doesn does anithing except giving mi money.. so wad if i haf loads of pocket money lorhz.. money carn solve anithing.. wen i get high for a test.. she doesn give a damn.. she even ignores mi.. n i felt so hurt k.. wen i get low.. she nag at mi until i feel so pek chek.. err... she onli cares bout mi studies.. n mi father.. how often does he cum home.. wad do we sae lorhz.. hi n bye.. wad else.. since he doesn give a damn bout mi.. i shall nt give a damn bout dis relationship.. i'm stressed enuff in sch.. coz i carn find happiness.. i din haf a single peaceful moment dis wk k.. i feel so damn blardy blardy heavy.. coz mi heart n head feels heavy.. laz wk still got slack at obs course wif mabel n sel.. dis wk none arh..
Nvm.. i shall learn to haf a positive outlook towards life.. y am i focusing on the negative aspects of life manz.. i don haf anithing.. n i don lurve ani1.. coz i haf decided to heed Yj's advice n concentrate on mi studies.. at least i will feel better dis wae.. hahaz... i tink VIP weighing mi down too much le larhz.. i muz learn to relax.. relax n relax
so let's tok bout happi stuff todae.. had a great time wif YJ n Sel todae.. Yj's tall.. hahaz.. sel has short legs.. u noe wad.. i tink Sylvester Sim's song inspires mi u noe.. i dunno y alrhz.. but wen i hear it.. i juz feel like feeilng happi.. n c the happi stuff in life.. n wen i meet failure i shld juz sae.. HU GIVES A DAMN.. hahaz.. n wen i feel like crying.. juz let the tears flow freely..don hold it baq.. n wen u haf cried finish.. Smile.. don brood over the past.. treasure the past.. present n the future.. it's a motivation.. n i haf set mi eyes on a super nice fone.. it's reallie nice.. nokia de.. 7***.. i dunno the laz three nos.. LOLZ!.. the one dat Angmian n Rae has k.. it's super nice.. n mi contract is ending in July.. i'm gonna get mi hands on it... provided i do well in the two exams.. or else i shall punish miself by ermmz.. buying a fone wif no cam.. hahaz.. i am so fortunate.. coz actly i dunnid worry bout money.. mi mum juz gives mi wen i sae i need.. get wadever i wan.. so i shall learn to b positive n live mi life to the fullest.. take things easi.. n don feel so unhappi bout stuff.. hahaz. =)=)=) smile peeps.. everything will b over in 4wks.. Veri fast de.. Hahaz..

2005-04-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm nt reallie happi.. boooo.. coz i'm sad.. i'm sad.. i'm sad.. i dunno y.. i'm sitting in music room nw.. ignoring totally wad the teacher is saying.. cool ritez.. hu gives a damn bout music aniwae.. Haizzz.. i am totally blank bout chemical formulas n symbols n equations.. It's so complicated.. argh.. jiu ming arh..

2005-04-27T05:35:00.000-07:00

Yeah.. the honoured 9 pple i told mi crush to.. all read mi blog.. nt all larhz.. most of dem.. n dey immediately knew hu was it lorhz.. SMART.. hahaz.. i noe xr is reading dis.. so gal.. don feel guilty.. i nver blamed u k.. n i don feel anithign.. but i mind dat the whole world noe dat i like him.. hehez.. aniwae.. yuen siang got a gf le.. his crush told mi todae.. n she was so super sad u noe.. hahaz.. dat gal has a unique name dat i nver heard b4.. she shld b chio larhz huhz.. or else ys will like her ritez.. =) no feelings.. means i HAF TOTALLY GIVEN UP.. mi heart belongs to u nw..
N aniwae.. i tink wed is the most stressful dae of the wk.. i was super depressed after recess.. den wen Ms Ng was teaching the chemical formula.. tears welled up in mi eyes.. den Ms Ng stared at mi.. den i pretended to yawn.. den later i buay tahan.. the tears slowly.. "PLORP, PLORP, PLORP" n rolled down mi cheeks.. argh.. den i tired to stop.. but i juz couldn stop.. i did quiet crying.. no sound produced.. the tears juz flow n flow.. coz at dat point of time.. i saw how mi studies was detoriating.. n i totally couldn unds Ms Ng.. coz i tink i take things too seriusly n get super stressed up.. n juz nw i juz looked thru n i realised i aclty unds.. den nxt period literature.. i continued crying.. coz i felt so useles.. dat i couldn get chemical formulas rite thou i noe sum Sec. 3s still carn get it rite till todae.. but i don compare wif the weak ones u unds.. i compare wif the smart ones..dats wad mi mum do wif mi.. i tink it has moulded mi into such a competitive person.. i carn stand the feeling losing.. failing.. nt undsing.. i put in so much effort in the smallest thing dat has mrks the reason is coz i wanna get in to VIP.. i carn afford to get rejected i noe.. mi mum is instilling so much pressure on mi.. n she sae u muz go for VIP.. n now.. wadever things dat haf no marks.. PW, ACC, Music.. i juz slacked during the lessons n enjoy miself.. yeah.. i'm a stupid fool hu cares all bout results.. but u noe wad.. i juz needa get good results for mid-yr n the nxt half yr i will b more slack.. i am super stressed.. i carn unds Merchant of Venice.. i carn read the entire bk.. c.. i'm such a failure.. n a lotta things made mi veri upset todae as well.. during sc.. mi waist hurt even more like hell.. i shldn have played bball during recess.. during recess it hurt like hell oso.. den it got worst during lessons.. den i was fidgetting n fidgetting.. pressing on it.. reallie veri pain dat i felt like dying k... continued till ACC.. i took out mi skirt n pressed veri hard..coz i needa allievate the pain.. n i don care le i tell u.. i don tink i can contribute much to the class com.. i dowan to.. i shall juz leave it to the rest larhz..
n seriously Mrs George make mi panick like wad k.. coz i told her i carn turn up for SC camp.. den she ask mi i in wad.. den i said lectures.. den she went .. WAD? NW DEN U TELL MI? n i was like WTH.. i juz handed in the form yesterdae.. wat do u xpect mi to do.. u tink i wan to pon.. argh.. i am in a foul mood.. haizz.. at least its ok nw.. but i juz feel dat its wasted.. coz Zhiyin oso said dat i am given a lotta opportunities in SC so i shld treasure it to the fullest.. but ATC.. carn don go.. i wanna go.. but i'm scared u noe.. i dunno y larhz.. its a phobia i haf developed for camps.. n i'm lookin 4ward to level camp.. =)
N poor Leeyan actly got stung by a bee.. it hurt like hell.. coz the sting was sticking in her thumb.. den i got Shunjie.. Shunjie helped. he's a nice guy.. i treat him like a gal..
Actly i tink wad Zy said makes sense ya noe... actly i tink i contribute more to SC den the rest of the SCs in the class.. so i shld like uphold the sch rules n nt refrain frm breaking ani.. or else i go walking ard the sch without carrying dat SC image n discipline.. coz the ACC teacher criticized mi todae.. she said wear tie de.. shld take note of ur behaviour in a laffing manner.. u bliff it nt.. she actly said dat to mi bcoz i was writing wad hmk dere is todae in mi notebook during her lesson.. n how long does it take manz.. 30sec... n she actly tot wendy was eating sweets wen she was taking tissue.. WTH.. n she confiscated one ruler juz bcoz i tink May dropped on the floor n Bernice helped her pick it up n return to her.. Walaoz.. i tink she sux like hell u noe.. she shld b gald i din sleep lorhz.. u noe dere were at least 5 pple sleeping n she purposely wanted to pick on mi.. Wads the problem manz.. dis is wad i call AP k.. yeah.. enuff of blogging... i needa go le.. bb..

2005-04-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

Todae.. i couldn wake up.. dat i din bathe n juz chagned n rushed to sch.. coz i'm tired.. splitting headache.. n forced to wear mi specks by pple todae.. coz i juz refused to put on dat super old-fashioned specks.. i'm still listening to Sly's song.. dat Aik Siong sent mi.. xie xie ni. sumtimes music works wonder manz.. the lyrics which inspire n tell u sum lessons in life.. whether it's love frenship or wadever.. teh tune which juz melts n touch ur heart.. realie change ur mood manz.. ur mood can b totally zero n u juz feel lighter..
school was a total bore.. i forgot to bring mi merchant of Venice bk.. argh.. nvm.. lit. is cheemology n i hate it.. i mean i lurve it.. juz dat i haf phobia towards it.. wad nonsense i'm toking.. wadever wadever
i spoke up more todae.. Li lao shi is super nice to mi.. dunno y.. ahahahaz.. n she kinda xpected mi to ask the ci hui de meaning... n mi chinese is mixture of english n chinese.. o gawds.. terrible.. den the whole class was correcting mi.. esp. the person hu sat one table awae.. wenkai!! hahaz.. hes chinese is pro sia..
den after sch.. i wenta buy prezzies wif Sel.. i totally broke.. I actly spent awae 30dollars in 2daes.. usually din buy present can spend in 3 daes de lorhz.. i broke mi record.. tsk tsk tsk.. i promise.. i promise.. i shall nt treat money like running water.. coz mi mum kips giving mi money in the middle of the wk.. so i haf dis stupid habit of spending money.. wifout looking at the price.. terrible attitude.. muz change.. i tried to cut down.. n i owe sel money nw.. lolz.. spend quite a lotta time at spotlight.. coz i decided to make presents for a couple of pple.. to show mi sincerity.. n we folded 204 stars for Yongcheng. *applause* folded till mi fingers went numb
Yeah.. dese stars r for Yongcheng.. he was once close to mi.. sat wif him on 12 on the wae home.. n we would share one CD player.. his sudden disappearance frm our class has reallie made mi sad.. shunjie n rae tinks hes hopeless.. but after cing u dat dae at ur house.. i still c a glimpse of hope in u.. i will nt give up on u no matter wad k.. i'm willing to do anithing for u as long as u return to school... if u r in need of money.. i will work or save n help ur mum k.. wadever it is.. u need moral support.. we r here for u.. help in anithing.. we r dere for u.. mi n sel juz hope to show our sincerity in our effots to fold the stars.. whether u appreciate or not is another thing.. but i hope u can sense the concern we have for u.. yeah.. take things easi.. we'll b waiting.. til u turn up one dae.. coz we realie miss u..
Yeah.. lifes full of obstacles... i was in deep tots... mayb hes reading dis.. but i reallie wanna thank him for being dere for mi wen i needed him.. wen we were frenz.. wen he was dere to hear mi pour out mi troubles.. Ms Low n his bf.. reallie a model couple i look up to.. thou i haf nver seen her bf in person.. hes nt exactly veri veri gd looking.. but at least i c true love in both of dem.. it totally melts mi heart k.. u may tink dat i'm fickle minded.. a gal hu falls in love easily.. but i tink i haf done the rite thing.. i haven promised ani1 anithing.. yeah..
I'm still looking for the drive n motivation... i don haf the energy.. i'm tired.. seriously.. i'm gonna find it baq.. i'm nt gonna sit here waiting for it to cum baq to mi.. mi tests results.. r going downhill.. i'm sad of course.. coz i'm nt doing veri well in mani aspectsf of mi life le.. wad i haf nw is onli frenship n kinship.. sum things haf happened to the SC students in our class.. the whole bunch of us.. we better watch out manz.. NP.. how mani activities haf i ponned.. ARGH.. the sadness which drowns mi wenever i tink the leaving of the NCOs.. dat i can cry at dat veri instant.. i'm emotional... but its uncontrollable.. argh.. forget it .. i better stop tinking of negative stuff n look towards the positive side ya noe... coz i noe i juz needa persevere.. n i will excel.. at least i still haf super duper nice frenz ard mi..
OK LAZ PARAGRAH I PROMISE.. u were mi gd fren.. nw still mi gd fren.. whether u treat mi as a fren nt.. i don care.. but give urself a chance n pple ard u a chance.. change.. the world will alwaes b waiting for u to change.. wen u change.. i promise dey will go baq to u one by one..
to urself.. u may nt tink too highly of urself.. but to the world.. u r reallie something.. something veri big.. =) SO CHANGE.. I WILL B WAITING FOR U TOO!

2005-04-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

Dis mrks the fers dae i fall in love wif u.. i haf finally woken up frm mi dream..
To b honest.. i already had doubts in mi love towards u.. it wasn't true.. n it even it was true.. i knew dat it wasn possible.. in terms of everything..
sumtimes we tend to go for things dat we tink might work out might do not in the end
yeah.. nw he appeared.. hes alwaes been in frnt of mi.. but i failed to realise his importance to mi.. i had alwaes tot i onli treated him as a gd fren.. but tonite.. i realised.. after much pondering since the laz few wks.. n asking miself.. y do i alwaes haf the urge to c him in skool.. to walk past his class.. wen hes onli a gd fren. i din tell ani1 mi fears.. mi ponders.. n i seriously woken up.. i wanna learn to b practical.. at the veri least i noe hows hes like.. n i like him for dat.. u shall b the past.. n i nw look into the present.. ur siginificance to mi.. i haf alwaes doubted it.. wen i liked u.. i din bliff in true love.. nw i noe the reason.. i am juz hoping something dat is impossible.. something dat does nt fit mi personality.. something dat is nt reallie wad i wan.. yeah.. i shall nt deceive miself further.. i like him.. n reallie like him a lot.. dat i hope dat i can hug him in dis instant.. dats wad true love means i guess..

2005-04-25T05:55:00.000-07:00

Let mi tok bout the whole dae which was super hiong.. morning.. 8 rounds of run.. 2.4km.. its more den dat actly.. i finished in 12:55 but its slower den laz yr larhz.. 33sec. slower.. n Ms Tan tinks i shld slow down.. coz seriously.. i was pushing n pushing miself.. laz roudn mi heart beat so fast until i almost hyperventilated.. n mi heart reallie veri pain.. so after dat wen i was still panting profusely i suspected i got asmtha since birth but the doctor din noe.. LOLZ! i wanna join baq to track seriously..Ms Tan tinks its a waste of talent dat i don join.. but got SC n NP le.. enuff for mi..
Chinese period.. i was super bad.. coz i asked a whole bunch of questions to Li lao shi.. i juz said in chinese.. i don unds everything u r saeing.. n seriously lorhz.. until nw i still don unds the ke ben de passage.. i starting to hate chinese more den ever u noe.. wonder how i got into BEP oso.. shit ritez.. but nvm nvm.. i shall jia you.. n i decided to make a contract wif mi mum.. if i mi nxt chinese test don improve by at least 6 mrks.. i gonna drop maths tuition n go for chinese tuition.. aniwae maths tuition is useless to mi lorhz.. mi maths is quite stable in the fers place.. it's juz kiasuism..
Got baq chem test.. half more mrks to a mars choc bar.. can u bliff it.. i actly tot i broke mi own record n scored below 20.. wen she announced dose hu scored 22 n above.. den wen i walk 2wards her..i gave her dat super scared face.. den she said.. grace.. don worry.. ur mrks is good.. den wen i c.. cheyyy.. 21.5.. wads the big deal.... hahaz.. but i suk at chem.. muz jiayou jiayou.. =) =)
PW bazzar.. great success.. i tink we sold almost everything b4 2.30pm.. thx to the support of every1.. n i tink the NCOs rok k.. ROK BIG TIME... dey bought like so much of their jnrs' stuff thou onli xiangqi mdm n yuting mdm bought frm mi coz we no more to sell le.. wen dey came.. onli 3 more left.. den a guy bought 1 den another two dey buy... so nice pple.. n i tink qiwen sir guoan sir n limin mdm bought a lot as well.. coz jasvin told mi Limin mdm bought 10keychains frm her stall lorhz.. so nice ritez.. 9 dollars u noe.. waaa..
Den new southwales science.. i tell u.. i half dead during the paper.. i stare at each question mi mind veri blank.. but i tink it's quite easi.. i juz tikam tikam for some question..
N a veri happi ting.. i met jinrui sir on the mrt... YAYS.. hes nice larhz huhz? waved n said hi to mi.. alight sae bye to mi.. but hes warmer online.. hahaz.. yeah.. bb.. =)

2005-04-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hehehehez.. i finally finished the news report.. wif sel the pro gia doing most of the stuff.. hahaz.. guess wad happened.. i spent like more den 1h formatting n editing the report.. n vOOOOOMMMMM.. mi com cocked.. doc. lost.. carn b recovered.. waa.. mi heart shattered sia.. but nvm.. nt fers time le.. hahaz.. so do again.. n i tink its nubad ymy..
So.. mi n sel r going present hunting on tue.. cool ritez.. god prays she can walk normally by den.. hahaz..dunno wad time i gonna slp tonite making paper bags for tomoro bazzar.. cannot throw awae k.. coz its made mi in the middle of nite.. muz keep as souvenir till u die.. hahaz.. juz jk .. u can throw awae immediately.. coz as if i give a damn.. n still needa study.. wth... i shall read n fold at the same time.. if onli dere is sum1 to accompany mi nw.. yeah.. gtg le.. cyaz..

2005-04-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

I got a super strong urge to juz slack thruout the dae.. juz chat on the msn n listen to shao nian for the whole afternoon.. den watch TV. n sleep.. hahahahahahahaz.. but o no.. mi n sel haven done anithing for the news report which is due tomoro.. LOLZ.. but nvm.. we both the pro gias can get it done sumhow i noe.. i tink shaonian is reallie reallie reallie chao ji nice.. i tink since more den 1mth ago.. wen i used sel's MP3 player to listen.. u listen more den 10 times per dae.. for every single dae oso will nt get tired de..
O gawds.. geraldine juz told mi some things.. ARGH.. poor gal sia.. kana pressurized n stressed out by a human being... haizz... guess i will haf to do something bout it.. i already made a small step le.. althou i haf nth to do wif dis.. but i shall take dis mega huge step nw n do something bout it.. wtfh... baqstabber.. hus the one hus a baqstabber in the fers place.. taking credit for wad every1 has done.. wad a complicated person u r..
y izzit dat dis alwaes happens.. towards frenz or huever..deres alwaes a motive... walaoz.. u juz spoilt mi dae..
N how unlucky i am todae.. mi mum is in a foul mood.. jiu ming arh.. get mi outta dis horrible place..
if i cld juz scram to galilee cafe nw.. to study... how gd it wld b.. but i doubt she will allow mi.. -_-"

2005-04-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hmmz... qiwen sir juz told mi some things.. mi spirit really dampened lerhz.. we actly assumed dat the sec. 3s were going.. actly in the end i tink it's still assumption bax... even if wenwei mentioned he was going.. it's ultimately our fault i tink.. after so much tinking.. argh.. nvm nvm.. we shall nt make such a mistake again.. but i tink qiwen sir is reallie nice lorhz.. he stood up for us.. he bliffed in us though we actly made such a mistake.. haizz.. n we actly let him down in the end.. he din blame us.. but i tink we ought to feel guilty..
Aniwae it was great fun.. wen kai n shuyi was veri nice to tok to.. the CI was oso veri nice.. n the performance de toy soldiers reallie farni.. i love performances at nite.. n to go out at nite.. going out in the dae makes mi haf big big big big ultra splitting headache.mi heart feels like wad now larhz... but reallie.. the nite allows u to tink bout a lotta stuff... so hmmz. go out at nite.. if can. coz u can tink bout a lotta stuff peacefully..
dats it.. i feel so guilty nw.. we shldn have assumed larhz huhz? NVER ASSUME.. i guess.. dats the moral of the story.. -_-"

2005-04-22T18:59:00.001-07:00

BTW.. i haven announced yet.. i belong to Group 3 of Level Camp.. dis r the pple in mi grp.. =)=)=)
Gan Yee Kia Natalie of 2A
Thien Hui Xuan of 2A
Lyon Koh Lin Lu of 2B
Su Xinhui of 2B
Fudi of 2C
Ho Jun Yang of 2C
Xu Chun Ying of 2D
Foo Su Yun of 2G
Heng Yan Ting of 2G
Kenneth Kow Wei Suan of 2H
Tam Zhi Yang of 2H
Ong Wei Xi Elysia of 2J
Tong Ka Wai of 2J
Yee Xianguang Joel of 2J
Chia Wan Ting of 2K
Desiree Chaw Lock Man of 2K

Hahaz..i'm noe a couple of pple frm mi grp.. but i'm happi to b wif Lyon le... n dere r two NP pple u noe.. Chun ying n Kenneth!! O manz.. i juz let mi mum c mi art product n she tot dat the gal on the left side is the mother n the gal on the rite side is the daughter... LOLZ.. nvm.. it's super nice k.. muz visit mi frenster acc. n look for the pictures k.. coz Koh Yun Jing don let mi put as primary foto.. -_-" hahahaz.. i sound so evil but nvm.. i tink Gary Rox k.. such a super nice person.. hu sends mi the song shao nian n let mi noe hu r in mi grp..n one of mi earhole is closing up le.. i let it close up n nw i left wif one.. i'm a lesbian.. ONO.. i better go n pierce after it has fully closed up larhz..
Juz completed the report of the lectures thing on teamwork u noe.. n i'm slacking here while mi sqdmates r slogging hard at NP activity.. ARGH.. i already pon two activities continuously le larhz.. DEAD DEAD N CHAO DEAD.. i don care le larhz.. ACCORDING TO THE NCOS.. WE HAF ONLI 5 ACTIVITIES LEFT.. AFTER DIS ACTIVITY GONE.. ITS ONLI 4.. FOUR ONLI!!!! U NOEH OW TERRIBLE IS DAT.. N TRAINING COURSE IS ONLI 1 DAE.. TAKE NOTE OF THE WORD ONE!! SO I DON CARE LE LARHZ.. I TINK EVERY1 SHLD TURN UP FOR EVERY ACTIVITY BY HOOK OR BY CROOK LORHZ.. UNLESS U NOE.. U R SO SICK DAT U R GOIN TO DIE. OR WADEVER HECK LARHZ.. JUZ DON PON ANIMORE ACTIVITY.. OR ELSE WE REALLIE GONNA LIVE TO REGRET MANZ.. TREASURE THE LAST OFFICIAL ACTIVITIES WE CAN HAF WIF DEM.. OR WE MAY NVER B ABLE TO GET IT BAQ OK.. WE CAN LIVE ON BEAUTIFUL MEMOREIES WIF DEM.. BUT WE HAF TO MOVE ON IN LIFE.YEAH DON LET DEM DOWN LARHZ LET"S PERFORM TO THE BEZ OF OUR ABILITY AT EVERY ACTIVITY FRM NOW ON NO MATTER HOW TIRED WE R K! =)

2005-04-22T18:59:00.000-07:00

2005-04-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

O yays.. we can now wear PE shorts under our full u skirt.. i haf waited 4 dis dae for VERI VERI LONG le.. coz wen we do hentak kaki.. wen mi leg raise super high.. walaoz.. i alwaes super uncomfortable u noe.. pluz i'm tall lorhz.. den wen i run.. mi skirt the frnt part will alwaes fly up.. n u noe i muz keep pulling it down or pressing on it so dat it will nt fly up.. n it looks super obscene.. n nw.. i dun needa worry le.. doesn dat feel great.. n at least u don haf dat empty feeling.. u noe? i sound pervertic but i mean it u noe.. yeah.. at least dis dae has cum.. =)))

2005-04-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

stress-free dae i had u noe.. coz todae no NP.. den laz nite man man polish boots.. usually veri ping ming.. coz needa save time marhz.. but todae nth on marhz.. so i relaxed laz nite.. aiyaz.. aniwae.. in sch todae.. nth special happened seriously.. todaes a real bland dae.. i juz painted the walls for 2B.. wif Audrey... we spray painted.. it's nice k.. n it's done.. hmmz.. juz wanna sae something larhz.. i tink dats wad action speaks more den words means.. don juz sae n nt do anithing larhz.. but todae during sc.. 2periods of chem.. fun sia.. in the lab.. we were testing alkalis n acids.. n den we used the universal indicator to test for Saliva.. coz Audrey said.. y nt let's test for saliva.. den i contributed mi saliva.. lolz.. n Rachel has a lot of saliva.. it turns purple u noe.. cool ritez.. den we started dancing n playing london bridge is falling down. coz we haven eat medicine yet.. LOLZ.. i don reallie like chem i realised.. i prefer BIO.. BIO N MORE BIO.. althou we have a super sucky teacher like Mdm Sim.. 2A hates her oso lorhz.. poor teacher lorhz.. but she's quite slack u noe.. n if i can score in her sc test is actly based on mi own hard work which has utterly nth to do wif her teaching k.. i tink bio is the bez larhz.. chem is quite sianz ymy.. i dunno how i gonna remember dose ions.. -_-"
feel dat i haf drifted apart wif a couple of frenz.. xiurong n junya.. quite sad larhz huhz?.. but nvm.. i shall tok more to dem.. actly i reallie miss term 1 daes ya noe.. it's more relaxing somehow.. n i haven bought ani bdae presents yet.. i dead le larhz.. i muz buy by mon.. i swear.. feel like slacking nw.. i shall slp wif mi bro.. hehez.. cyaz....

2005-04-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Aniwae.. let's tok bout yesterdae fers larhz.. was super sad during PW k.. coz i was caught btween going to buy spray paint for the class and going for SC meeting.. i din wan to pon SC u noe.. but i wanted to help Geraldine.. coz she was super stresed.. in teh end i ponned SC.. i dunno how to answer to Ms Yeo le larhz.. die.. todae.. wth.. was supposed to stay baq for the dance thing.. n i ponned SC again.. n Wendy used Sel's injured leg as an excuse nt to choreograph.. fine lorhz..
Hmmz.. but i'm super happi todae. seriously.. coz i had great fun wif Mabel and Selina in the afternoon.. juz sitting at the obs course dere.. i was very sparstic larhz.. seriously.. n reallie lorhz.. the happiest thing dat has happened so far dis wk is dat Alan n Jinrui came baq.. YAYs.. i reallie miss dem lorhz. esp. Alan.. brought baq mani beautiful memories wen he was our Sqd N.. i still remember the fers time i learnt marching was by him lorhz.. he will alwaes remain as mi favourite of favourite Sir..yays.. snrs reallie source of motivation manz... n poor selina.. she fell down.. take care of ur wound arh..
n seriously.. mi heart felt super heavy.. after seeing Alan.. i tink in mi life.. dere will b no more snr dat u can like tok to like a fren bax.. it's so few lorhz.. bsides Yuen Siang.. Yichao sir n Jinrui n Zhiyan Sir. nvm.. dese memories will nver b forgotten i promise..
I promise one thing bax.. i shall nt tink bout ur fakeness.. i have nth to sae bout u le.. but i have a strong sense of insecurity wen i'm wif u.. seriously.. i don wanna tink bout it.. but the trust i used to have in u is GONE...
I still feel happi manz.. after seeing Alan... our ex-Sqd N.. yea.. life's juz so great sometimes..
O yep.. yesterdae Art Proj.. it was kinda successful u noe.. coz we were like.. trying our bez to use our techinal abilities to add effects to the foto montages.. magnetic lassoing so mani pictures.. setting time targets for ourselves.. n we were like. chiong chiong chiong.. yea.. 1 hr up.. done... feel it's quite nice ymy.. it's bout happiness.. dat we muz have positive negativity towards life.. optimism n oso we cannot search for happiness larhz.. i typed a dunno how mani words report on it.. to convey a lotta messages k.. n i tink it makes a lotta great sense manz.. so i've decided.. wen i'm unhappi.. i shall stare at dat picture.. yeah... dats all. cyaz..

2005-04-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

Haiz.. i feel so sad nw ok.. by no. of stuff.. all frenship de.. it juz happened less den half an hour ago.. i rather i was ignorant of everything u noe.. fakers.. baqstabbers.. haizz.. i have nth more to sae bout u all..
I shldn have trusted u larhz.. u haven done anithing to mi.. but i haf finally got the reason y u said all dese.. i was doubtful bout the reason liaoz.. n now i noe y le larhz.. walaoz.. i rather b kept in the dark.. at least dat last good impression of u will b kept in mi heart.. am i too trusting.. y did i have such a gd impression of u in the fers place despite wad the other said bout u.. but now i noe.. no matter wad.. we will still b frenz.. but i will alwaes have doubts in ur actions coz u have too mani motives n i wan to go for SIMPLICITY.. U UNDS?
I reallie dread dese complicated stuff in life.. save mi larhz..
To b honset.. todae was reallie a great dae.. in the morning.. i actly held a cockroach in mi hand.. bliff it or nt.. den wen i felt it like something hairy n sticky n grossy.. den audrey told mi it was a cockroach.. i screamed.. coz i wasn wearing mi contacts.. den she pointed to the floor.. den i tot it was mi badge or wad.. den hu noes.. walaoz eh.. but nvm.. i washed mi hands wif soap for a million zillion times le..
den another bad thing happened.. i sprained mi ankle.. n it was kinda seirous at fers.. coz mi whole leg went jelly n it kinda like carn walk at all.. den Mr Sng n Mr Kiw was like so concerned.. n Mei hui n Sophia.. the two nice VPs of SC.. help mi..n Sophia saved mi ankle dat i can climb staircase n jog after 2hrs u noe.. coz she used something.. i dunno wad...a medicine n rubbed n rubbed.. for reallie long... n shes great at it larhz.. den Ms Ling was like forcing mi to sit on a wheelchair n make dem push mi baq to class.. den i was like no no.. n in the end.. haizz.. Mr Sng n Mr Kiw oso wanted mi to go on wheelchair.. den fine lorhz.. but reallie muz thank Sophia n Meihui sia.. i tink dey r super nice pple.. i flopped for maths test.. but it doesn matter ymy..
Yeah.. u noe.. so nice pple ard.. so i felt dat mi dae was great thou i actly held a cockroach in mi hand n mi nakle kinda pain..
But seriously.. i'm upset by wad she told mi bout other pple.. its by wad others did dat made mi upset larhz.. one of it concerns mi but i don give a damn.. but the other one.. i have nth much to sae le larhz.. don b a faker larhz.. u wan the bez of everything.. frenz results.. blar blar blar.. wad can u xpect wen u treat dem like rubbish.. u r like a jellyfish k.. ur frenship wif pple no backbone de.. u either flock to the bunch of pple hu can give u good results for proj.. n if u quarrel wif dem den u go to dose dat u can find temporarily.. wad u treat dem as lorhz.. walaoz eh.. hyprocrite larhz.. the reason u told mi.. it was an excuse i knew it.. i shldn have trusted u frm the start.. treating u as a gd fren all the while.. y r all dese unhappy stuff happening.. yiwei shared wif mi her unhappiness oso.. i unds larhz.. n i hope she takes it easi.. another baqstabber n hyprocrite trying to distort the truth.. y muz u pple make life so difficult for pple hu r juz being demselvse.. r u all aware dat u all r the ones hu r the huge huge huge hyprocrite n baqstabber... aniae.. i wanna treasure a couple of frenz i mention here k.. audrey xiaoyou geraldine jenny yi wei lyon yunjing cynthia n blar blar blar.. i carn state all larhz.. n others like jasvin zuxin u noe it all.. n special ones like selina zhiqian xiurong junya yeah..
mi n sel were toking bout stuff during lesson time todae.. during CME.. yeah.. reallie a gd tok i tink.. at least i reallie said wad i felt.. blar.. lifes isn't all bout results larhz.. dats wad i wanna sae.. n aud is unhappy over sum stuff oso.. o manz.. i feel so sad for pple n for miself..
wad i wan is
A SIMPLE LIFE
GET IT?
ITS DAT SIMPLE
IT JUZ STARTS WIF THE WORD SIMPLE
N I JUZ WANNA FORGET BOUT THE COMPLICATED STUFF
N STILL MAKE MI LIFE SIMPLE..
U UNDS..
I DOWAN TO HAVE MOTIVES FOR WADEVER I DO LIKE U U NOE..
LEAVE MI LIFE ALONE..
LET MI LIVE THE WAE I WAN..
COZ R U AWARE DAT U R HURTING PPLE ARD U..
forget it.. smile.. coz i still have mani super nice frenz ard mi.. =)

2005-04-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

Totally rotten dae i had.. all the bad things had to happen one after another.. n i had chiong everything.. budden its all quite ok larhz.. thx to pple's help n encouragement.. budden seriously.. reallie a lotta bad things happen manz.. dunno y larhz.. a totally 100% suay dae.. but i still feeling quite ok.. but i 'm stressed sia.. coz i'm worried bout lots of things dat i'm unable to complete manz.. tonite hafta tink of dat Literature Essay..den got zuo wen.. dead sia.. n dis wk is the deadline for dat Art Proj.. u noe the final product.. plus chem test.. yeah a lotta things to chiong n Ms President wans mi to help in the advertising of PW..
Yeah.. n SC.. i had tot the lectures thing ritez.. i was the youngest.. n dunnid do anithing lerhz.. in the end..WTH.. Scott went to tell mi.. cum up wif an activity which lasts for 45 mins n prepare the debriefing n the content.. den i went HUHZ? u noe.. he wans it by thur.. which is the dae we muz present to the teacheri ncluding Mrs Shuyuen.. hu juz kinda jiang wo todae.. i already knwe dat she hated mi larhz.. den i dunno larhz.. i'm helpless.. coz i dunno wad to do.. n Mrs Yeo kana pressed me in a demanding wae todae for the youth dae thing.. n i'm nt the overall IC or the IC larhz manz... juz bcoz she hapens to c mi almost everydae i alwaes kana her pressing.. n she kinda exerts pressure on mi.. n Jesslyn isn't aware of it lorhz.. o manz.. i gt a feeling its gonna b a flop.. coz Jesslyn isn't doing anithing.. n shes juz slacking to b honest.. n the rest of us r totally unaware wad she has in mind or mayb she doesn have anithing in mind..
Yeah.. god prays.. i do well for the art proj n chem test.. nth else i wan le seriously.. n of course mi zuo wen n dat literature essay.. i don mind flopping PW.. flopping the lectures.. flopping everything.. but i carn flop mi studies k.. coz i promised mi mum to work hard.. n i muz make good mi word larhz.. i gonna throw everything aside fers larhz.. coz studies cum fers no matter wad.. yeah.. n the science quiz todae.. quite haoxiaoz larhz huhZ? i was flipping thru the paper.. i practically couldn answer everything.. den i juz answered based on mi PREDICTIONS n INSTITUTIONS n PREMONITION.. yeah. gtg le.. cyaz..

2005-04-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hmmz... feeling super bad juz nw.. shan tok bout it.. lifes dat super depressing sumtimes n u carn do anithing bout it larhz huhz? at least a bunch of nice frenz out dere.. i realised dat wen i wanna refrain frm toking to Ms President fers person i look for is Zhiqian.. waa.. thx gal.. i reallie dunno how to tok to her manz..
Yeah.. woke up quite early todae.. den went for tuition den went to Junya's house.. well.. i cooked larhz.. guess wad i did.. the most stupid thing in the world.. u noe wen u suppose to blend the strawberries.. i washed the strawberries... but i forgot to remove the leaves.. n actly blended it with the yogurt n ice n milk.. o gross n yucks sia.. we actly drank everything down with the leaves.. LOLZ.. but it din taste dat bad ritez? den i slacked ard.. helped her wif her grp's earrings.. she told mi a secret.. n i went home.. reached home at ard 7.45pm? i actly completed hmk n juz needa finish the laz two NCO reports? n it seriously brought baq a lot of memories.. it wasnt long dat i remember dat ard dis part of the yr i was writing reports on Yiting mdm, minru mdm, alan, yuensiang n yuanjun sir... n nw for the 2nd batch of NCOs.. well.. time flies manz.. i suddenly feel like crying at the tot dat aug is gonna cum soon.. we do nt have much time left wif dem le.. y does time past liddat.. juz a whoosh.. n bout half a yr is gone n dey hafta go for Os.. well.. i swear i will nver forget dem n their teachings lahz.. wa.. i seriously feel like crying sia.. o manz.. haizz.. i dunno bax..
i reallie love dem i swear.. i dunno how we cld survive our golden yrs wifout dem.. dey have taught us so much more den the previous batch of Sqd Ns.. n i reallie treasure dem.. no point tinking bout such stuff.. well peeps.. treasure each n every single sec spent wif dem larhz k... lifes gonna b different wifout dem.. another brand new NP kinda life.. new batch of Sqd Ns.. everything is gonna change.. we going to bcum training sqd..

aniwae.. i feeling super depressed nw larhz.. no1 can unds bax.. dis time i don even feel like telling aiksiong le.. i dunno wad the hell happened larhz.. i juz feel like shutting miself frm the world.. o gawds..

2005-04-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

A totally slackish dae..woke up at 11am.. den slept again at 3pm.. but at the veri least i complete all maths assignments.. the one due on tue oso completed le.. but i dunno how to do one question.. jiu ming arh.. i was staring at it for 15mins.. n i still dunno how to do.. ahahaz.. yeah.. i noe i muz b optimistic.. so i shall refrain frm calling miself stuipd.. thou i sound stupid nw.. den i juz slacked n slacked.. merchant of venice is cheemology manz... i was trying to get sum meaning outta it.. i finally understood the storyline.. the characters.. but wen u cum to the part.. wen dey start toking like poets of the past.. i will start staring more at the glossary den the story.. i musn flunk lit dis yr again.. laz yr got a blardy b3.. dis yr muz get at least an A2 manz.. althou i had already flunked animal farm in the fers term but nvm u noe.. i shld b optimistic ritez.. =) i shld juz look on.. n nt tink bout the past .. yeah?
tomoro gonna b a buzz dae.. argh.. muz wake up early.. better go slp nw.. buaiz..

2005-04-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

Juz heard frm Jolene wad happened.. it made mi super upset manz.. dat i wasn dere.. i knew dat i cldn go todae no matter wad.. it was either i went VJC or for SC.. it wasn't up to mi to choose..n since the VJC thing we r kinda like representing the sch so i muz go no matter wad.. i dunno bax.. dey visited Mr Lampost mani times.. i'm saying it nicely larhz.. to put things crudely.. dey ran a million times.. under the CI drilling session for 2hrs.. i dunno bax.. the rest went for the aikido course.. so dere was no timer.. i tink Yiting mdm was seriously hurt wen she made us ran n ran.. i noe dat she feels for us.. she loves us bax.. to b honest.. i still tink she n Alan r the Sqd Ns hu reallie love us.. present ones i'm nt sure bax.. the mdms r reallie nice to us.. but one of the sirs i noe hu truly cares for us oso is Yongzhang sir.. ever since Speech dae.. wen he said dat wen u r tired juz remember i'm going all dese wif u all.. den i knew dat despite all his sarcarstic words.. deep down.. he reallie loves us..
can u bliff it.. i missed tent-pitching for the second time in a row.. wth.. i am super suay manz.. aniwae.. its a matter of committments manz.. if u choose to commit to something u r bound to lose things here n dere bax.. so nvm.. but i'm seriously scared wen the CI asks nxt time.. i dunno.. den kana scolding.. o manz.. -_-" i doubt if dey give a damn whether i noe nt.. o manz.. i sometimes carn stand sec. 2 sqd but sumtimes i noe dat i love dem to the core actly.. i juz love the times we went thru together.. despite some pple.. mi optimism towards dem have vanshied.. coz i'm tired of it.. but i have decided to have optimsim in wadever i do.. mi studies.. i dowan to b mentally drained le.. i wanna recharge mi battery.. everyting.. i juz wanna commit miself to everythign to the fullest bax.. i dowan to live to regret.. i have done a lotta things dat i regret le bax.. i wanna smile... i wanna b happi.. n i seriously i rather b like laz time.. in skool.. so happi.. even if i noe deep down i'm unhappi.. i noe dat i'm nt affecting pple ard mi.. i feel dat i have gained too much attention frm the teachers.. i dunno bax.. Ms tan.. the super nice Pe teacher.. wen i did standing broad jump.. i no energy to jump the laz stretch.. den she said in chinese.. how cum no energy.. laz nite cry again arh.. den reallie.. wen now i flashbaq everything that all the teachers have said to mi.. Ms Loh.. Ms Tan.. Li lao shi.. Ms Seow.. Ms Yeo.. Mrs Sim.. i'm truly grateful to dem.. n at the veri least i wanna show dat i am happi.. whether i reallie am is another thing but at the least i noe dat i'm nt letting dem down.. yeah.. i don wanna regret ani further for the things i have done.. making mi mum worried.. the teachers concerned..i seriously don wanna regret.. i swear.. i'm worried deep down u noe.. but i seroiusly am helpless.. i dunno le.. i dunno watta do.. bsides being happi.. dats all i can do.. so Smile bax peeps.. life goes on no matter wad ritez.. so i shld remind miself again.. live it to the fullest.. happily.. so dat u will not regret.... =)

2005-04-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

Today got cramps early in the morning on the bus.. damn pain sia.. its like a sponge in ur stomach.. trying to squeeze water out of it.. den during sc fa zuo again.. pain pain chao pain.. yeah.. we wenta VJC after sch. let mi fers state the advantage of VJC.. Fers.. THERE IS A LOTTA SHUAI GES MAN!!!.. i'm serious larhz.. the standard much much much higher den DHS one.. i met dis veri frenly guy called Sammi..den he started toking to mi.. cool ritez.. den deres another guy called Paul oso manz.. dat one i nver tok.. he onli help to guide directions.. but dat one super shuai larhz.. u juz walk aniwae.. u can simply find one shuai ge.. tall.. shuai.. seh. yeah.. unfortunately.. deres nt a lotta chio bus larhz... i was looking ard.. got a few like Szeling!!! yeah.. deres still sum.. den wen u walk.. u c dis guy hold hand wif dat gal.. or else dis gal n guy sitting together closely.. chatting alone in sum quiet n seluded place.. yah larhz.. quite cool larhz.. actly quite sad larhz.. i was tinking of mi adaptability if i went for VIP.. i noe dat life dere wld b much more challenging.. its more obvious to mi after today's trip le. n it's like i have been in DHS for mi 2nd yr n i have finally fully adapted to everything den after juz two years of all dat adaption i brought to another new environment again.. dis is a test to mi bax.. lifes nt going to b super relaxing but its gonna b fun i guess.. whether i can get in nt is yet another question bax.. writing lots of postcards during dat SUPER BORING CHAOJI CHAOJI BORING tok.. i juz copied down sum notes.. aniwae i dowan to take part in dat blardy experiment.. i don break apparatus is a miracle.. speaking of breaknig apparatus.. i haven broke ani single one dis yr... =)=)=) din c Alan/Yuen Siang.. saw onli sum ex-DHS gals.. dey were having lessons i guess.. yeah.. VIP.. it's a challenge bax.. the environment is so so.. nt veri gd.. oso.. at the tot of the PRIME thing dat wen i'm Sec. 4 i hafta go all the wae to Raffles dere.. it kinda motivates mi to get out of DHS oso.. DHS is a super nice sch..but sum things in it is going to hinder mi frm doing well i guess.. JC life is super different.. i finally realised dat thigns aren going to b dat simple as i had tot.. saw how complicated things cld b in JC.. it seemed to so complicated to mi.. but u juz gonna take things easi sumtimes n go for it.. don chicken out in the end juz by looking at the environment bax.. =)

2005-04-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Well... feeling so sick bout life suddenly.. i'm still stuck wif NCO reports.. forget it.. i tink i shall hand in late.. coz i'm tired.. seriously.. how i wish.. i cld bcum the cheerful mi again.. after a long sleep.. i dunno wad has transformed mi into a person like dis.. like Zhiqian said. its no use saeing.. i shall look on the bright side n b happy.. n u juz look on the bright side n b happi.. dis seriously make sense.. i have been doing dat since LC prep.. thigns have dragged till nw.. since wk 7 of Term 1.. the beginning of LC prep.. i have been super depressed.. n nw its getting worse.. i am losing mi energy to do all the assignments to the best of mi ability.. the projects to the best i can do.. i don feel like toking.. i'm losing all mi frenz.. nt exactly.. true ones stick to ur side no matter wad.. n i have bcum closer to a couple of dem as a result.. i went against dose hu baqstabbed others.. Ms President.. stop baqstabbing Rachel manz.. don do it right under mi eye.. i carn stand ur stupid attitude larhz.. u enjoy baqstabbing ritez.. u wanna have a taste of it.. stop being so scheming manz.. i have had enuff of ur nonsense since the beginniing of the class deco com le... spoke to Rachel.. she told mi something no1 noes till nw.. i noe y i trusted her till dis veri dae.. truly treated her as mi fren till dis veri dae.. truly liked her n did nt bliff wad others said till dis veri dae.. i unds nw.. for her actions.. n everything.. lifes liddat i guess.. no pt lamenting over stuff nt worthy of u tinking.. regrets of mi life is are countless manz.. i don wanna look baq.. but its sticking to mi for life.. wen i grow up mayb i will tink it will bcum trivial.. but nw.. i dunno
U.. at the tot of u... u r breaking mi heart nowadays.. y did i even liked u in teh fers place. u din do anithing to mi.. but u r hurting mi by being totally ignorant bout mi feelings manz.. i carn bear feeling liddis.. n its nt possible for mi to stop liking u.. i'm in a dillema.. get mi outta all dis.. i'm seriiiously tired.. i juz wanna wake up one dae n noe dat i have lost everything.. mi memory... where have mi motiavtion went.. where have mi energy went.. i dunno.. i don wanna tink.. thou i seriously wanna noe.. its no use feigning happiness.. wen u r nt. its no use trying to feel happi wen u r nt.. i'm juz in hope dat one dae i will straighten out all mi tinkings.. get over all mi laments.. mi dillema.. lighten up mi sinking heart.. wad i wan is sum1 to tok to.. hu can truly unds how i feel.. mayb dis person doesn exist.. but no matter wad.. i noe dat dere r pple out dere hu cares for mi.. i'm still loved.. n i wanna kip dis feeling as long as i can... lose mi introvertedness.. trust mi manz.. LI LAO SHI i will speak up.. i will bcum the noisy mi.. the super talkative mi.. the super cheerful n optimistic mi.. i dowan to make empty promises le.. i shall try mi veri bez k.. to straighten out mi tinkings.. i noe dat li lao shi truly cares.. i finally bliff dat i have changed.. i wanna revert to the talkative mi.. i dowan the teachers to even tink dat i have a prob animore.. I'm normal n i can take up responsibilities.. juz gimme time.. n it will heal mi wounds..
Seriously liking u was a mistake in the fers place.. i regret liking u.. but i carn turn baq the clock.. i dare to swear if i were given teh choice i wouldn like u.. thou i noe it will hurt.. but i dowan to feel hurt wen i fall deeper n deeper like an endless well.. n is unable to climb out again.. i'm like a frog in a well.. i'm trying to jump up.. leap out.. thou i can jump high.. but i have fallen too deep dat no matter how hard i try.. i carn jump out.. n i can juz croak in silence in dat deep well.. mi heart shattering.. mi mind whirling in sorrow.. i swear.. u don deserve mi love after all.. u don seem to give a damn aniwae.. n i simply wish dat i can forgot everything n treat dis as a dream...

2005-04-14T03:22:00.000-07:00

hehez.. i knew it.. i knew dat dere was a reason bhind mi PMSing.. i couldn b unhappi for no reason marhz.. it alwaes happens manz.. n at the wrong time summore.. i was so PMSic towards the Taiwanese students.. nt reallie.. Desmond wanted mi to take the boys wif him coz the boys a lot marhz.. Desmond is a super nice person.. we walked past 4K.. waa... quite enthu larhz.. at fers i tot dey were quite enthu budden mostly gals marhz.. den i onli spotted a few boys onli.. PATHETIC sia.. worst den 2B manz.. den we walked on.. den i led dem to past 4A n 4B.. 4B is super enthu sia.. their attention veri easi diverted de.. coz frm far.. dey started looking at us.. den dey have a super nice maths teacher.. den wen the teacher asked dem to go in.. i was like o no.. Desmond how how how.. actly i cld have led dem in.. budden wen i tried to lead dem into 4K dey bs wif mi or wad manz.. den Desmond led dem in.. dey so guai lorhz.. wth.. n i couldn tok to dem coz mi chinese was SHIT.. den Desmond was like.. can u sae somethign to dem.. den i mian qiang tried manz.. den i went to ask him.. how u all choose de.. den he said dat Mrs Shuyuen wanted pple hu cld speak.. den i asked him.. do i look like i can speak.. in a veri sacarstic manner coz i cannot speak chinese marhz.. den he said but eng u can.. wah laoz.. aniawe.. 4B took foto wif dem.. i stood one side coz i felt super extra.. n i find Shuqi mdm super chio in hairband manz.. n limin mdm actly called mi SU xin hui.. mi name sux larhz.. aniwae.. Mrs Shu hates mi larhz.. she kips staring at mi like wad.. in the audi i was blur blur.. i was standign a bunch of boys.. coz i tot dey were in mi grp.. den later mi grp left le.. den i went ONO.. where r dere.. den Ms Loh was like Grace arh.. den MrS Shu stared at mi in a super pissed off wae.. n i ONO one more time.. n ran awae lorhz.. shit ritez.. den in the hostel.. i was trying to bring the boys to the toilet.. den couldn find.. sickening larhz.. den i went into a small tunnel.. wifout Desmond where it was veri dark.. den dey started saeing sum stupid stuf. den later walk so long le.. its the end.. carn nth at all.. den i went ONO again.. so paiseh.. den i turned baq n ran awae.. den dey followed mi lorhz.. n complained.. den in hostel canteen..i was left all alone.. i seriuosly dowan to get chosen in teh fers place manz.. i feel so damn super left out.. coz its like Mabel had Shirleen.. n Yanting had yixian.. n i had nobody.. so i went wif Rachel. walked ard.. blar blar blar..den gotta noe Junya's taiwan student.. a veir nice gal.. hu likes a guy hu likes her.. she isn't exactly pretty larhz.. but shes super skinny.. n shes super fussy bout food manz.. but shes super frenly n considerate.. taiwan gals perfect for guys hu wan gals wif fair skin.. demure.. gentle.. virtuous.. kind.. sweet.. hahaz.. i saw pretty gals larhz.. sum veri fair skin wif red cheeks.. n super gentle de.. onli a few actly.. nt mani.. i still tink Singaporean gals better manz.. coz i so opposite frm dem.. nver c the wae i sit.. totally opposite frm dem.. the wae i eat.. waa.. mi appetite i tink 10times more den dem coz the gal i took ritez.. she ate two spoonfuls of rice.. n the hcicken.. its bout two thumbs size..n mi n jy asked her y carn u put the whole piece into ur mouth n bite.. den she said.. bu yao larhz.. ok find.. den she took ages cutting dat small pieceo f chicken into SMALLER pieces.. den i finally put into her mouth.. n bite like she had so much time.. den after eating dat two SUPER MINI SMALL pieces of chicken.. she closed the box n said.. wo bao le.. n mi n jy went.. waa.. u so fast full arh in chinese..so hao xiao ritez.. i tink dats the onli bad point of her to mi.. coz she carn eat tomato.. carn eat green capsium.. carn eat rice.. qutie cham larhz huhz? den the D n T thing..i made a dolphin mould thx to dis super nice DHS guy.. althou the thing is too blue le.. but i still tink its nice larhz.. =) hahahahahaz.. can i salck.. i already late for one maths assignment for ONE dae le.. wahahahz. nvm.. man man zuo.. n i have onli completed one NCO report but i shall slack fers for now... =) cyaz

2005-04-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

HmmZ.. todae skool was ok larhz.. aniwae.. i don c y gals muz own a spaghetti strap shirt lorhz.. i don even have one.. n y muz gals have SUPER MINI skirt.. dat is almost half of ur upper thigh? yeah.. mine is bout 5cm above the knee.. yeah.. so bao lu for wad.. wait till u grow up larhz...
N o manz.. i seriously feel sick at the tot of the interclass science quiz larhz.. i tink its stupid of Mdm Sim to choose mi.. seriously lorhz.. i tink she shldn choose the pple based on their mrks.. i doubt she noes hus Su Xin Hui.. she juz refer to the results of the class list n choose liddat.. PUI LARHZ..she noes mi as Grace onli lorhz.. she shld have chosen pple like Aud n Zhiyin hu r super duper damn blardy pro @ science.. shes sick larhz.. n i feel sick at the tot of it oso.. boooooo
PW.. yeah.. don boss ur wae thru k.. so wad if u r the president.. i carn stand u ordering everyone ard.. like u r the boss manz.. y did i even joined dis grp in the fers place.. nvm.. forget it.. its going to b over SUPER SOON.. i was super sad during lit n chinese lerhz.. i dunno y manz.. i tink i'm PMSing larhz.. coz i din c a reason to feel sad n mayb i was tired so i have decided to take a nap later.. cool ritez.. n PLEASE.. PRAY DAT NP ACTIVITY IS ON A FRI DIS WK... i sound so AP nw larhz.. coz I'm PMSing.. i feel so sick at the tot of anithing larhz... I have lost mi total tolerance.. don piss mi off le animore k.. N i swear i gonna get a 35 by nxt chinese test.. i muz study a million times harder dis time u noe.. n u have no rite to get pissed off wif Yunjing k.. juz bcoz of a sakae sushi card for ur KOU YU BIAO DA... get a life manz.. Ms President.. hus in the wrong in the fers place.. ur attitude towards pple.. is horrendous.. walaoz.. u shld have done all dese two daes ago.. so i will nt feel so PMSic nw.. aniwae.. zzz i go.. bb!!!

2005-04-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

PUBLIC APOLOGY!!

i, grace su xin hui, hereby apologise to miss koh yun jing for deleting all the photos in her phone which hold great significance and bears wonderful memories of life experiences and situations. therefore, as a result of my carelessness and foolishness and inablility to operate such a simple technological function of an even simpler machine that is even smaller than my palm, this is an important public apology to say sorry to my beloved bestest best friend, you know, those kind who is one in a million, and that i am very very very super super mega SORRY for my GRAVE mistake that has caused the loss of yunjing's beautiful memories. i am really sorry for my irreversible action and i hope that yunjing will forgive my senseless action. i promise to be her slave for life and buy her lots of presents to make up for my terrible wrongdoing. sigh. yunjing is such a nice gal. she went kfc with me though she badly wanted to eat at macs. sigh. i am such a freak who doesnt even know how to appreciate good friends and actually went to commit such a hideous crime. the beautiful memories of her dragon boating and her dinner @ jack's place and her first ever photo with her tong2 jie4 patrol mates... these are everything i cannot replace even with money. not that i have money of course. but i am terribly apologetic for everything i have done. sobs. =((

2005-04-12T05:18:00.000-07:00

Well.. look at the previous entry.. its written by Miss KoH YuN jINg.. nt mi larhz.. hahaz.. i was at her house... den she started taking fotos of mi.. den wen i wanted to delete awae.. i went to put delete all.. O GAWDS.. its gone in a sec. so i'm seriously sorrie gal.. forgive mi k.. aniwae she vented out her frustrations in the previous entry le.. so shld b ok larhz..
I was @ he house till 7.30pm.. cool ritez... her mum.. super duper nice.. cooked a huge bowl of fried rice for mi.. n a mega huge bowl for yj.. o manz.. y is yj still so thin.. aniwae.. mummy's home-cooked food taste the bez no matter wad.. reminds mi of the home econs prac exam on mon.. i tink we won flop larhz..
Aniwae.. I flunked mi chinese test.. for the 2nd time of dis yr.. n for the 2nd chinese test i had.. mi heart shatter sia..
N we found reallie super inspirational quotes.. den we visited the website mi pri 6 teacher showed us to motivate us.. aniwae.. if u wanna visit.. its http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com .. its super duper inspirational larhz.. n i noe.. Li lao shi definitely referring to mi lorhz.. she was like saying.. you xie ren kao dao "hen hui huang" de cheng ji.. i wanna whack her arh.. u can tell mi straight in the face ritez.. shes being sacarstic... yeah.. i noe i'm brainless... wen u all change the format of the test.. mi mrks dropped frm more den 45 to poom... 20plus.. i carn even get a 30 nw.. i'm stupid larhz.. k .. fine.. but i will prove to u manz.. i shall score at least 35 the nxt time.. u the blardy SJAB teacher.. teh BEP teacher.. our Chinese teacher.. our EX-FORM teacher.. I SHALL REMEMBER U FOR LIFE.. N WAD U HAVE SAid.. pple score so low so sad le still sae dis kinda things.. i shall prove u wrong manz.. mi chinese nt as bad as u tink k.. thou i speak chinese is mixture here n dere.. but i shall speak full chinese n FLUENT chinese for mi kou yu biao da.. YOU BETTER REMEMBER WAD U SAID TODAE....
I shall go do mi art nw.. n yj's reallie a great partner.. lurve her manz.. =))

2005-04-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Stop getting depressed bout life larhz.. dats wad i wanna tell YA!! its useless finding the meaning to life.. read the following quotes k:
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
N MORE IMPTLY DISSSSS:
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
Yeah.. have u got it n mi acc. kana hacked.. mi previous entry kana deleted by somebody.. i noe hu u r larhz.. Ms Nice.. ahahahaz.. kaes fine
I wanna go slp le.. i'm super duper tired.. tired.. tired.. fatigued..still down for SC duty on thur.. jiu ming arh.. i dowan to miss lessons k.. still got the lectures thign.. i wanted to pon SC contact time todae de.. den i arrived n in less den 2mins i left.. woohoo.. at least still counted as go larhz.. nxt wk gonna b a hiong wk manz..
Aniwae.. enuff of depression.. sadness.. regrets.. n everything.. lifes nt life being depressed bout it.. unhappi bout it.. GET A LIFE MANZ.. STOP THE STUPID DEPRESSION OVER LOVE FRENZ WADSOEVER HECK LARHZ.. READING ALL THE STUPID MSN NICKS I FEEL LIKE PUKING MANZ.. MAKES ME FEEL TOTALLY DISGUSTED MANZ... I WANNA B SUPER POSITIVE, OPTIMISTIC, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY GAL.. aniwae i tink i too sui bian sumtimes.. u juz stop influencing mi wif ur negative outlook of life.. its seriously pissing mi off.. wad do u have to get sad bout lorhz.. too free izzit.. tink so much for wad... i was rite in the past manz.. i chose nt to tink bout stuff n juz lead mi life liddat. i shall go baq to the wad i did manz.. coz i reallie detest cing depressing pple.. u wanna b depressed.. dats ur prob.. if u do nt c anithing in mi quotes.. or get ani inspiration frm ids website www.theinterviewwithgod.com DATS UR PROB.. I HAVE ENUFF OF IT.. i shan shower animore concern on u.. the nver ending care.. the consideration n everything.. juz get it clear larhz.. its nt onli urself k.. pple ard u hu r sad oso need concern manz.. wads the prob wif showing dat blardy fucked up face in skool.. yeah.. i'm tired..nitez

2005-04-10T04:04:00.000-07:00

Todae.. woke up real early in the morning.. 8.48am.. k larhz.. nt reallie early.. budden i still woke up late.. sel was at mi house doorstep wen i was having breakfast.. woohoo.. shes real strong manz.. like the early bird catches the worm.. shes super early manz.. den we did the eng proj.. quite ok larhz.. i tink dis proj is cool ymy.. den ermmz.. i went for maths tuition.. mi teacher gave a test.. o gawds.. i din flunk it larhz.. i wasn't reallie caught unpreapared.. budden onli wen he said he gonna take the mrks of dis test for the progress report den i started being serious lrohz... coz the sums were quite easi marhz.. so sms more den i wrote.. den i was quite slow.. budden i finished everything in time.. cool ritez.. n yj din cum mi house.. o no.. we muz jiayous for art manz.. i was so happi wif mi assignment wen Ms Loh said i cld get A1.. so muz jiayous for the rest ymy.. its midyr cuming le.. VIP application cuming le.. i juz needa jiayous n achieve gd mid yr results.. den the rest of the yr can slack more.. dunnid so stressed le.. =) yeah.. shall b like the sec. 4s.. hu suffer frm POS.. pre olevels stress.. cool ritez.. dese kinda stress.. shall stay happi for the time being.. till mid yrs over.. =) in no time.. may will b cuming. n yuppie.. dats the end of everything le.. so juz perservere pple.. its wk 3 dis wk le.. ritez? shall kick everything aside fers.. play mi part for SC n give in mi best for the youth dae thing.. n pia hard.. yeah.. dats it.. enjoy life pple.. stay cool n funky.. u will alwaes b lurved by mi k? hahahaz.. =)

2005-04-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

Went changi airport.. it's reallie a small world manz.. Bernice n her mum n bro oso went to sakae sushi to eat.. n his bro is a real shuai ge manz.. changi airport one whole bunch of shuai ges larhz.. den later at cold storage.. deres dis reallie veri veri good service cashier hu went ran all the wae to give a customer a bag of items he forgot to take.. so good rite.. n he was still smiling.. =) totally slacked the whole dae.. playing the com. watching TV.. tot bout lots of stuff..
seriously dowan pple to get worried bout mi.. wen i sae i'm alrite.. i may still b depressed larhz.. budden don worry.. i won commit suicide or wad larhz.. i nt crazi k.. i seriously feel empty.. i toked to mi mum bout loads of stuff todae.. i told her bout mi NP life.. it wasn't as simple as wad she tot.. n the reason i wanted to go for VIP.. coz i din wan to stay in NP.. i dunno how to face a bunch of pple for the nxt two years.. have so much commitment to it.. wen i don like it nw.. seriously NP life is meaningless to mi le.. mi lacklustre performance.. i am super distracted nowadays.. i given a drill command oso carn execute it properly.. more imptly.. i carn stand the hyprocriticness i c.. the wae dey da hu xiao jiao.. like wad Jiaming sir said.. everything.. mani things dey do.. i c how pple changed.. bcoz of wad dey wan.. i reallie wanna step down n juz stand aside.. wash mi hands of everything.. how wld life b for the nxt two years in NP.. i dunno.. how can i have an OC like Ms Sandy.. bossing her wae thru.. we aren't her dogs. we r nt obliged to listen to wadever she tells us to do.. the NCOs r real nice.. Snrs r a motivation to mi.. but if dey r gone.. wad will the hell happen to mi.. i dunno.. i seriously do nt noe.. the pressure i face.. everything.. i noe i shld run awae.. but i reallie dislike dis kinda life.. I told her bout VIP.. the fear i had.. i knew how different life wld b... stress frm studies might increase.. i'm aware of it.. but the urge to escape frm dat kinda life motivates mi to get into VJC... i dunno if i shld try out TIP at the same time.. incase i don get into VIP.. hopefully in VJC.. i can pursue the CCA i wanna in the fers place.. i dowan to repeat the same mistake again.. like i did laz yr.. whether i do well in it.. it's another thing.. but i juz wanna do something i like.. nt sumthing which adds to mi stress.. having stress is inevitable.. but the stress i wanna get is the kind dat motivates mi.. nt the kind which burdens mi.. I noe i sound heartless.. but seriously dats how i feel in mi heart.. the good n bad side of pple.. sum pple r reallie veri nice n kind.. n i lurve dem to the core manz.. seriously..
Lifes nt smooth-sailing i noe.. i haven lost much in life.. at least i have gained a lot frm the things i have lost.. tot bout how i shld treat mi stepfather.. thru dese years.. its nearly 6yrs le.. wen i was young.. it was easier to accept him.. as i grew older.. the most we said was a hi n bye.. we have meals together.. he adds food to mi plate.. but dats the most.. ever since laz yr.. he hasn received a bdae present frm mi.. a father's day present frm mi.. i dunno.. he does a lotta stuff mi bhind mi baq.. i am aware.. i merely said a thank u.. i'm nt sure if he loves mi.. but i noe he cares for mi.. n at the least.. he feels for mi.. but i don feel for him a single bit.. den it suddenly cum across mi mind todae.. if one dae i had lost him like the wae i had lost mi father.. wad will i do.. i wld definitely regret for life.. for nt treasuring him wen he was ard..i din wan dat to happen.. at the veri least if he died i wld still feel dat at the least.. he had reallie been mi father.. thou nt mi real father.. i have already lost one.. i dowan to lose another.. i shld have tot.. he had played his part financially in dis home.. i shldn have tot dat he treated dis house like a hotel.. i shld have been more understandin.. i shld spare a tot for him.. dat he had to work veri hard outside.. n i mean it.. i promise to connect to him more.. especially wen he trys to tok to mi.. i will nt avoid him.. i will nt scram to mi room wen he cums baq.. i promise..
well.. lifes short.. i seriously wanna treasure it n live it wif optimism.. i dowan animore pple to get super worried bout mi.. even if i cum to sch in eyebags.. i wanna smile.. laff.. tok.. i will cheer up i promise.. mi life is considered smooth-sailing compared to mani others so i wanna live it to the fullest.. treasure wadever i have nw.. i don wanna give up on him.. it isn't easi to find sum1 u truly like.. yeah.. don torture urself.. juz like sum1 wifout harbouring ani other tots.. n u will b able to derive simple happiness frm it.. =) well... liking sum1 is bout feelings.. is nt wad the person has dat makes u like him.. its him dat u like bout.. i don care bout a guy's money.. cleverness or wadsoever heck larhz.. its his personality which matters. its for zhiqian if shes reading mi blog u noe.. don question mi on the person i like.. don get shocked oso.. n WTH larhz.. mi n big mouth.. i told 4pple hu i like dis wk.. budden all four can trust.. jenny one is accidental.. budden shes trustable u noe.. i told two persons yesterdae.. dey r trutable larhz.. so far.. for more den two mths le.. i have been liking him.. short hoh.. budden at the veri least onli 7 pple noes bout it.. n the privacy will cont'd i noe.. =)

2005-04-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hehehez.. i juz cooked mi main dish.. its OK!!! yays.. hahaz.. i took bout 40mins.. cool ritez. i'm nt dat bad @ cooking after all..
Aniwae.. i feel so relaxed all of a sudden.. dun intend to study for todae.. going out wif mi family later on.. i reallie feel mi mum gives mi too much care n concern for mi nowadays.. budden nvm thou sumtimes it pisses mi off.. i juz like to b left alone sumtimes u noe.. i dunni so much care n conern frm pple.. even if the whole world doesn care bout mi.. it doesn matter to mi.. but it matters to mi if i'm given too much care n concern k.. o gawd.. but shes mi mum rite.. it is li suo dang ran dat she cares for mi marhz.. i don feel tired manz.. for the veri veri fers time... coz i slept for 13hours!!! cool ritez.. don wish to tink bout unhappi stuff for todae.. wanna tok to nice pple.. wanna watch movie nxt wk after skool on 1dae.. i'm the onli 2B person online nw manz.. dey carn b studying ritez? n i'm slacking here.. hu cares aniawe.. i shall juz slack for the time being.. =) pleasee.. bless mi.. let the nxt NP activity fall on a fri.. hehehehez.. =P

2005-04-08T05:13:00.000-07:00

hmmz.. todae normal skool dae larhz.. NP activity seemed so short.. let's tok bout mi mistakes.. during PT i made the sec. 1 sqd n sec. 2 sqd do two more advance advance jumping jacks.. n its reallie advance advance k.. coz i went to big mouth sae nine.. fine.. dats still quite minor.. the second one was super major manz.. coz keluar baris.. i went to turn left.. den the whole bunch of NCOs were like.. walaoz eh.. den the sec. 2s started laffing.. den the NCOs pumped us lorhz.. shit rite.. i tink i suked like hell todae.. running like nver run b4 liddat.. worse den Ms Tan's PE.. like wan to die wan to die liddat.. stupid larhz.. den drilling.. i dunno y larhz.. i juz tink i flopped in it oso.. i juz feel empty towards NP nowadays.. sick of everything le larhz.. dats y i don wana care bout everything..
Whoosh.. mi heart is set on going for VIP.. wad if i don get in.. o manz.. i dunno.. actly i agree wif wad Jiaming sir said larhz.. i reallie buay tahan sum hyprocrtic sec. 2s hu dui his/her own sqdmate da hu xiao jiao.. to the sec. 1s oso.. treat us as wad.. rubbish arh.. we nt for u throw ard liddat k.. GET DAT CLEAR.. OR ELSE.. FU** OF..
Haiyaz.. wad the blardy hell manz.. Ms Yeo tinks dat deres a prob wif mi.. i knew she was bout to do something bout mi le.. on mon wen she asked mi to smile n nt give dat sianz look.. i knew it le.. todae.. wen she came to mi n said u looked veri tired n asked mi y i din go for dat SC meeting yesterdae.. i seriously bliff wad rachel said.. coz i noe dat Ms Yeo seems to take extra notice bout mi since i told her mi troubles b4.. wth larhz.. argh... if rae's lying i gonna hack her manz.. budden it don tink rae play ard wif dese kinda stuff.. n i bliff her coz a lotta pple said i looked shed n haggard n tired.. budden i looked shed coz i lost weight dis wk.. cool ritez.. i'm tired coz i'm a pig.. hu nver gets enuff slp.. i am nt depressed larhz.. don judge a person by his or her eyebags.. n if a person doesn smile oso don mean anithing.. n if she toks less oso don mean anithing.. it means dat ehh.. she has no energy to smile n tok u c.. dats it.. so don tink so much bout stuff.. juz leave pple as dey r.. like mi.. so dat i can lead a peaceful life wifout getting into ani trouble.. i seriously scared she send mi to Mrs Ho manz.. dat will b the worst scenario.. n i scared she call mi mum.. argh.. i shall smile more.. I PROMISE.. I SWEAR.. I WILL MAKE GOOD MI WORD.. !!!!

2005-04-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

Hmmz.. i din sort out mi tots.. mi perspective towards life changed a lot.. bhind all dat pretense.. the smile.. everything... deep inside.. its a depressed mi... c no pt in lots of things nw.. he has totally no meaning to mi.. c no pt in love.. c no pt in lots of things.. decided to b a happi person for the sake of mi mum.. after wad she said.. shes seriously worried.. n i'm upset by dat.. dunno bax.. no1 can unds the hurt in mi.. i dunno wen i had bcum liddat.. but i noe dat deres no turning baq 4 mi..
todae history test.. hmmz.. mani pple did nt have enuff time.. including mi.. after the test.. sum1 immediately came n asked mi.. did u complete ur history paper.. den i said yes.. coz i scribbed at the last min.. yeah.. so wads the prob nw.. i already noe it le.. sum pple told mi le.. the whole class gossiping bhind mi baq coz u all r veri jealous.. yeah.. wads the pt of being jealous manz. its nt mi fault dat i completed the paper ritez.. Jealousy.. i have had enuff of it.. gossips.. u pple juz shaddup..
Playing bball.. i realised.. the onli thing dat truly makes mi happi.. juz simply bouncing the ball.. mi poor dribbling skills.. atrocious shooting skills.. i don mind it all manz... i juz love the feeling.. juz sitting on them monkey bar.. hmmz.. the tranquility.. is unexplainable..
Went MP lib wif sel.. kupped a whole stack of postcards.. is reallie a stackful stack.. we r siaoz larhz.. den went TM.. guy's present reallie veri MAFAN larhz.. so difficult to choose manz.. den wnet home.. spend two hrs completing dat maths assignment.. budden at least its done..
Life.. wad does it mean to mi.. i dunnno.. its juz sumthing dat exists.. no meaning to mi.. i'm juz forced to live it on.. for mi mum's sake.. nt to b anione's burden..

2005-04-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

Y does life suk so much sumtimes.. i juz don unds the complicatedness of pple.. resorting to underhand means.. or baqstabbing.. well.. wad i have gotta sae to u.. to mi.. since dunno wen.. the onli reason dat i tink u dislike mi is coz u kan wo bu shuang.. n y u kan wo bu shuang.. coz u r unhappi wif the things dat i have n u lack of.. jealousy..i'm frank ymy.. all dese words have been kept in mi heart for a veri veri long time.. since laz yr bax.. recently it got worse.. wif u blardy attitude towards mi.. y eah.. its ur prob.. nth to do wif mi.. but i juz carn stand it..
aniwae.. basically.. i have been seriously influenced by sum pple.. by their negative attitude towards life.. i was like dem in the past. wenever i was bout to bcum like dem.. i pulled miself out of dis trap.. but i have fallen into it dis time.. how sadistic life can get manz.. i dare sae in dis yr dis is the worst period i'm undergoing manz.. i juz don unda pple.. seriously.. i have lost the meaning to life.. the hope to life.. life is so depressing.. i feel like i have totally no frenz.. i'm left all alone in dis world.. i'm juz a nobody hu no1 cares.. everything bout mi suk like hell.. everything in mi life suk. i continue wif life coz i hafta.. i'm obliged to.. aniawe pple hu kan wo bu shuang.. please juz fuck off manz.. i won give a damn bout u.. juz don try to do some stupid things bhind mi baq.. i'm aware of ur doings manz..
juz nw.. mi bro.. he fell.. he was bleeding n bleeding.. blood juz flowed like water frm a running tap.. for 10mins.. i was super afraid... he was scared.. everytime the blood flowed n splattered onto the floor.. he wld scream.. the blood stained his shirt.. it was red wif bloodstains.. i was freaked out.. enuff of life.. if onli i cld bleed till blood run dry.. or juz continue to sleep 4eva n nver having to wake up... lifes depressing manz..

2005-04-05T02:54:00.000-07:00

Yozz.. the 4th bar of choc is gone.. hahaz.. i ate two yesterdae.. den one dis morning.. den one gave sel.. aniwae i tink mars choc r nt dat nice if u eat too mani bars..LIKE ME.. but its reallie nice.. so i have decided to buy 8 n gave it to the eight important pple in DHS.. all galz.. aniwae.. if u receive one frm mi means u r LOVED by mi.. aniwae.. actly laz thur while i was looking ard for presents wif YJ.. i came across this thing.. which i decided to juz buy it larhz.. actly i wanted to give it to the guy i like.. budden hmmz.. i tot dat he wouldn like it or wadsoever.. so i decided nt to give le.. till i stead n i will give mi stead.. =) hahaz.. guo rui n a gal in mi level camp grp steading manz.. seh sia.. dey were like standing so far apart.. den i tried doing it wif zhiqian yesterdae on the MRT platform behind dem.. 2m behind dem.. n i was like wondering.. waa.. stand so far apart how to tok.. den later dey alighted at TM n the fers thing Eunice n mi saw was.. dey immediately held hands..cool ritez.. dis is wad i call di xia qing.. budden its cool larhz.. guorui is a nice gal.. dat super nice gal which i won reveal her name to b fair.. is oso super duper nice as well.. so its tian sheng yi dui.. di zao yi shuang..
hMMz.. wahahaz.. i feel kinda gd nw.. aniwae.. the SC leadership camp thing.. made mi kana a whole nite of nagging n sacarstic remarks frm mi mum laz nite juz bcoz she has to cancel the hol plans bcoz of mi..n the worst thing is dat i'm in the lecture thing one lorhz.. dat means muz give a presentation for 1h.. budden i'm the youngest marhz.. n scott seems like a super duper Mr Nice guy so hehez.. i shld b able to tok less n juz sit dere clicking the ppt slides.. n for the band concert.. i'm nt going wif sel for sum reasons.. so anibody wanna go wif mi.. coz i dowan to sit dere alone.. yup.. tell mi k... yupp.. aniwae frm mi mum's laz nite nagging.. i was enilghtened.. n i learnt a reallie impt lesson.. LISTEN UP GUYS OUT DERE.. don marry a gal hus unreasonable.. naggy. complainy.. whiney..grumbly.. all the "y"s.. sum of dem i created de larhz.. it doesn exist.. so reallie i mean it.. or else i bet u will regret for the rest of ur life for marrying such a gal.. its better to marry one hu suffers in silence rite.. history test seems kinda wasted dis time.. coz most of dem gonna b source based.. n wads the pt of studying so hard.. hahaz... n i was seriously enlightened by aik siong yesterdae.. its bout a dot on the paper.. according to him if u onli c the dot means u r unaware of the happi things ard u.. which is the majority.. n if u r the minority who chooses the white patches.. its something like u appreciate the happi things ard u larhz.. makes a lotta sense ritez.. hahaz.. kaes.. igtg le.. enjoy tonitez.. tomoro n the rest of the wk k.. =)

2005-04-04T04:34:00.000-07:00

Hmmz.. mi xin qing nt veri gd todae.. laz nite i cried to sleep.. dunno y oso larhz.. juz felt depressed suddenly den juz shed tears liddat lorhz.. aniwae i tink oso mi flu made mi feel quite bad oso bax.. aniwae PCCG lesson simply pissed mi off larhz.. 2B sux sumtimes u noe.. full of brainy pple wif so mani character flaws.. wad do u pple noe how to bsides complaining.. the fotos Geraldine took nt nice den too bad larhz.. cannot blame the photographer.. if u do nt look good in the fers place.. u take wadever foto oso will nt look good.. do not push the blame on the photographer.. n if u wan her to take 3shots per person.. k larhz fine.. don reject all the fotos k.. tink larhz.. 34 times 3 is moer den a hundred fotos.. if she has the patience to do dat.. do nt COMPLAIN TO MS YEO lorhz.. so sickening manz.. n u all have no rite to get irritated manz.. u all din even put in one drop of sweat into helping to do anithing.. WAD THE BLARDY HECK MANZ.. even Geraldine n Shunjie hasn't even complained a single word.. thou Rachel veri pissed le.. aniwae don harp non-stop at the end of the dae k.. wa laoz.. i realised dat gals complaints sumtimes reallie buay tahan for pple to take it manz.. wen u all complained i reallie felt writing a super long essay on ur attitude n stick it up on the class board n blog it into the class blog u noe.. n seriously lorhz.. wad i wrote on the board i meant it k.. Don complain wen u r doing anithing for the class com, it juz simply pisses pple off.. n wad the blardy heck lorhz. u all give so mani unconstructive ideas.. den leave it to dem to do.. u all make dem do wad u all wan dem to do.. n u all juz sit dere n do nth.. so u all juz enjoy leaving the difficult jobs for dem to do.. izzit fair nt lorhz.. especially U.. I ESPECIALLY PISSED OFF BY U.. I DID NT C UR NAME ON TEH BOARD TO VOLUNTEER N U WILL COMPLAINING GIVING SUM STUPID BLARDY IDEAS.. YEAH.. U R CLEVER.. I WAS REFERRING TO U.. SO CLEVER... k fine..
Aiwae.. H.e. Pizza was yucks manz.. hahaz.. but we scored 9 coz of the design.. aniwae jy is too gentle le bax.. budden if i do.. hmmz.. i tink end up the flour smear on pple's face.. poured on the floor.. n all the terrible things happen larhz.. hahaz.. i tot the lemon tea was quite nice ymy.. on mi wae home.. i almost kana hit by car manz... coz i was crossing carpark.. den i din look out for cars.. i juz looked straight opposite the road n crossed.. den wen i heard the sound of oncoming car.. uh oh.. hurry up shan3.. den second time.. i looked for cars.. budden i din take note of the motor cycle.. the motorcycle reallie reallie almost hit into mi it juz missed by a sec or else i would have been dead nw.. lolz.. juz jk.. aniwae the rider veri bs wif mi.. gave mi dat stupid face.. all dese juz happened in less den 3mins manz.. can u bliff it.. coz i was buying Mars Choc.. den dere was 4 bars. den i told miself.. by the time i ate finish dis 4bars.. i wld b baq to mi happi self le.. i ate one bar le.. i shld seriously smile more manz.. Ms Yeo told mi to smile.. coz i had dat stupid sianz look on mi face.. budden hu cares.. i will naturally smile wen i feel like manz.. =)

2005-04-02T22:37:00.000-08:00

Hmmz.. i haven completed one chapt of history yet. die le.. ahahahaz.. budden the fers chapt is super long so its ok ymy.. i left wif two more pages to wrap up dat chapter.. still got another 3.. uh oh.. i better guai guai go study after blogging.. n i tink sum pple got the wrong idea bout hu i like le.. its nt aik siong larhz.. its sum1 frm his level thou.. =P up to u all to bliff.. =)
seriously i decided to work hard le.. i shldn cum online if i can animore.. unless i looking for sum1 to chat wif... n i muz guai guai study no matter wad bax.. i have been slacking too much dese few weeks manz.. n i tink if i continue to slack liddat i gonna continue flunking all mi tests larhz.. =(=(=( maths test an excellent e.g.... mi laz history test an even better e.g.. mi maths assignments so mani crosses.. mi lit. test a chao gd chao gd e.g... wad else arh.. mi previous chinese test veri gd e.g. aiyaz. a whole bunch of things r an excellent e.g. of mediocre work larhz.. the model of bad results.. n i'm a veri veri gd e.g. of a lazy student so i shall nt procrastinate.. n go out less often.. i muz guai guai go home after skool.. n don cum online so often i promise.. i swear.. wif mi life.. waa.. i sound so childish.. budden i oso nt scared of losing mi life lerhz.. so i shld sae.. i swear.. or else mi studies will rot until worse den the stupidest person on earth.. n ermmz.. i will have no frenz at all.. n i will b left all alone in dis world.. YEAH.. good rite.. hahahahahaz.. i'm childish.l aniwae i tink i shld guai guai go study le.. CYAZ.. n i promise.. i shall onli watch 1hr of TV todae.. n cum online 4 1HR to complete the H.E. workplan.. I PROMISE. I SWEAR.. N I MEAN IT.. hahahaahhaz.. =P

2005-04-02T05:56:00.000-08:00

let's tok bout todae k.. i dreamt bout a whole lot of things laz nite.. actly i kana xiang tong le ymy.. den i woke up at 10am.. cool ritez.. sleeping is mi hobby.. if i can i don mind sleeping the whole dae lorhz.. if dere is no noise at all.. i can sleep more dne 18 hours at a go.. =) super slack dae i had.. took 1h to eat finish mi breakfast.. coz i spent 30mins waiting for mi breakfast.. 15mins playing wif mi bro.. 5mins walking ard.. 10mins eating n reading the newspapers at the same time..den i continued to slack.. n read some history.. n after studying for quite a while.. ate lunch.. den i played com.. hehehehehehz.. shunjie n yj have nth to sae bout mi le.. i can jump more den 7 floors for Icy Tower le.. FINALLY MANZ.. budden still carn win dat two pros lahz.. hahaz.. niam niam.. den i wanted to play for half an hour.. den i play n play.. den whoosh.. one hr gone.. den i hurry go study again.. den alamak.. i was sleepy.. so i decided to sleep.. lolz.. i'm a pig larhz.. den i slept lorhz.. woke up.. ate sum snacks n watched TV... ate mi dinner.. den played com again.. den watch TV... n here i am blogging again... nvm.. enjoy life ymy.. althou i wld rather go out n play play.. budden carn ymy.. aniawe i'm sick.. so i shld listen to mi mum nw.. she already fed mi two cups of BLACK.. BITTER.. SMELL SOUR DE DUNNO WAD CHINESE MEDICINE N SHE SAID DAT U MUZ DRINK IT WEN ITS HOT OR ELSE ITS HAS NO EFFECT. waa.. its terrible manz.. budden nvm.. i juz drank n drank.. whoosh.. in less den a min.. its gone le.. yays.. aniwae.. i carn blog in peace.. coz coz coz. i'm chatting nw.. =)

2005-04-02T03:16:00.000-08:00

Hehehehez.. Ms Singapore Universe cuming up.. I WAN DESTINY ONG TO WIN.. shes so sweet manz.. aniwae i bet Dickson will b catching dis show manz.. =P wahahahahhaz.. i in a gd mood.. coz i dunno lerhz.. hahaz.. i haven been able to study even one chapt of the history txtbk.. FINE.. hu cares ymy.. juz stay up late tonite den.. hahaz.. dats mi.. hmmz.. i was staring at the foto of mi n Geraldine.. n the neoz i took wif YJ.. n i stared n stared.. i looked at miself.. was the gal smiling mi? y did the person in the foto looked so happi.. she looked like she was so free of troubles.. so i juz kept on staring n staring.. i wondered.. how cld dat person b mi.. wen was i so happi.. y did the smile seemed so natural.. dat as thou i was reallie so happi at dat time.. hmmz.. i dunno bax.. but i noe i'm fake.. whoosh.. k fine.. unhappi events outta mi mind.. yeah.. i wanted to finish wif another entry laz nite.. but it was whoosh.. dunno how cum couldn b posted. budden nvm ymy.. i juz noe lifes short.. i muz treasure it no matter wad.. yeah.. so don tink so much.. life goes on.. juz go on wif life.. wad nonsense i toking.. ok fine.. mi hp is alrite nw.. onli one button carn work u noe.. n its the clear button.. so wen u message.. its SUPER MAFAN. budden nvm ymy.. juz ren for a few more mths.. ahhaz..

2005-04-01T06:17:00.000-08:00

suddenly.. i juz asked miself.. y do i feel so stressed out all the time.. y do i feel so pessimistic n depressed bout life sumtymes.. y carni juz b positive n stop tinking bout y lifes liddat n blar blar blar.. y do i start noticing the hyprocrites ard mi.. wif sumthing up their sleeves.. yyy? yeah... i'm a pessistic person.. all the committments have becum a burden to mi.. sumtimes i juz feel dat i lack the energy to carry on.. wen its 1 or 2 am at nite.. i juz carn carry on sumtimes.. i feel like sleeping.. i feel veri veri tired n drained.. deres a limit to mi tolerance.. yeah.. i dowan to hurt pple's feelings..so i accept pple as dey r.. its mi prob dat i don like dem rite? its nt their prob.. dats the wae dey r.. its mi prob if i carn accept dem.. but i definitely have the rite to ignore u.. dislike u.. or have ani negative/positive feelings towards u... yupp.. call mi a hyprocrite.. despite how i feel towards u.. i treat u nicely.. even thou i find u a terrible faker.. i help u.. n said dat i'll b dere 4 u.. yeah.. i meant it.. but i didn't mean dat i truly liked u.. it will b super gd if i cld juz tell miself to treasure each n every single person ard u.. if dey died tomoro.. wad will u do.. u dowan to live in regret.. yc suddenly disappeared.. how did we feel.. we suddenly realise his importance.. imagine.. juz a guy like him.. whom we hardly speak to.. we hardly connect to.. has so much importance to us.. so if a reallie reallie once close fren to u.. disappeared.. how will u feel.. wad will u do.. i'm nt trying to imply anithing.. but truly.. even if u don give a damn bout wad i'm saying nw.. take a look at urself.. u don accept pple.. yupp.. so we accepted u.. but how did u treat us.. wads ur attitude.. in the fers place.. dere was a major flaw in ur character.. we din realise it.. till yesterdae.. i saw it for miself.. fine.. wad if u disappeared... seriously.. bsides wad dat incident laz yr.. no1 has ever been able to spark up dat strong sense of pissed off feelings.. anger.. as i said.. i have nver gotten angry wif a person more den 30mins.. but u were the fers to achieve dat.. y? ur attitude seriously suk.. ur character sux even more n u xpect so much frm pple.. everything bout u sux to mi.. i don c a gd point in u nw.. yeah.. i'm a cold-hearted person.. but i juz carn stand u looking down on pple... wondered y u were the onli one among dem hu din have a clique n chose to mix wif us.. tink bout it.. u carn accept pple.. yeah.. u r smart.. fine.. i'm lower den u.. i'm 4ever lower den u.. TO U.. i don tink dat wae aniwae... to miself.. u juz another selfish freak.. hu onli cares bout ur own feelings.. inconsiderate person hus neglecting how others feel all the time.. toking sum stupid crap all the time.. showing concern for pple which is totally insincere n u don mean it.. u do it for the sake of doing.. n seriously ur smile suks k.. its juz faking thing.. nw i noe y dey despise u.. i treated u as a fren.. but i finally realised it.. i carn accept the wae u r.. even if u disappeared tomoro.. i dunno wad i will do.. yeah.. i may still b pissed off.. but seriously.. i am disgusted.. i am infuriated.. i'm pissed.. i don hate u.. i juz hope u don tok to mi frm nw on.. as i don wish to have anithing to do wif u.. tell mi one gd point of urself.. u do everything.. deres a motive.. u r the hyprocrites of the hyprocrites.. unds wad i mean. it means dat u r xtremely hyprocritic.. dat i carn stand it.. ok enuff of it.. let mi use another entry to complete wad i wanna sae. i don wish dis whole chunk of paragrah to pollute mi personal feelings i have gotta sae bout life.. forgive n forget.. u better scram b4 n shaddup or else i dunno how long i will take to 4give u.. well.. if u nver change.. mi dislike for u will cont'd nw n 4eva.. dats it.. its mi decision.. whether i wanna communicate wif u.. ITS MI PROB.. NT URS.. U JUZ GET LOST N DON TOK TO MI AT ALL...

2005-04-01T03:14:00.000-08:00

hmmz.. speech dae todae.. i almost buay tahan wanted to fall out.. i dunno y lorhz.. mi stomach was churning n churning.. churning n churning n churning.. mi head hurt like hell... den finally it ended.. sum pple fell out.. sumbody vomitted.. hmmz.. i guess dat person reallie felt super terrible at dat time bax.. takkaire pple.. n don sms mi n call mi on mi hp le.. mi hp is destroyed.. by mi dear bro.. hu dipped it into a cup of tea.. whoosh.. wahahahaz.. shld i feel happi or sad. coz i received a lot of mesasges which carn b read.. shitie larhz.. den i'm getting a new fone.. nvm.. anwiae.. mi head still hurt like hell larhz.. veri veri pain.. aniwae.. i carn bother bout sum hyprocritse ard mi le.. waa.. i read sumbody's blog.. dat person is so fake.. don sae u like a fren wen in fact u don mean it k.. u onli make mi feel like puking.. n don tok sum crap juz to appease pple juz bcoz u r scared of losing dat particular fren.. i'm horribly disgusted seriously.. aniwae.. i lurve yongzhang sir manz... he's reallie veri nice ymy.. hmmz. den after dat.. i entered auditorium.. i sae the sec. 4s laz yr.. saw renji sir..yuanxiang sir.. sze ling.. melody.. blar blar blar larhz... sze ling is so chio manz.. yuanxiang sir is ok larhz.. renji sir so skinny.. alamak... den i left le.. woo.. den i alone le at dat time.. so i took a taxi to kallang mrt station.. den halfwae thru.. i juz felt like walking.. so i ask the taxi drive to stop the taxi.. den i juz walk lorhz..=) in the mrt deres dis stupid blardy guy keep staring at mi... waa.. dunno how mani stations le.. still staring .. coz i was munching on a choc b4 dat.. i finish eating le.. he still stare.. wads the blardy prob wif u.. den i walked as fast as possible to the other end of the train.. aniwae.. u may nt noe dat i like u.. but reallie.. i may nt tok to u.. i may nt look at u. but in mi heart u mean a lot to mi.. seriously.. n i mean it..

2005-03-31T04:53:00.000-08:00

Aniwae.. i managed to survive skool todae.. ting xie was great ymy.. i onli got two wrong.. coz wen i studied.. i wrote out all the words.. almost all i din noe how to read n the meaning of it lorhz.. den dere was like near to a hunderd words for mi to remember how to write.. n i was so heng dat i managed to remember most of dem.. PHEW..den bk review managed to rush it out. maths n sc as well.. i tink bio is easier ymy.. bio is super fun larhz.. chem is nubbad.. den after sch.. me and yunjing went out after i gao ding sum stuff in skool.. had great fun ymy.. we took neoz.. quite hao xiao.. den we were shopping.. n we did the most stupidest thing in the world at Isetan.. veri paiseh to mention it here larhz.. den ermmz.. we were shoppig for presents.. yj bought two prezzies.. i bought one for Aiksiong.. i guess april babies won receive much presents frm mi bax.. coz i no time to buy.. haven got rachel's one yet.. n we went into perlini's silver den saw dis earing.. its nice larhz.. i like plain earings.. as in.. i don mind dangilng ones.. budden its preferably like one colour den the whole thing silver.. den i saw dis super nice heart necklace.. c the price get a shock.. hahaz.. i tink it costs 30plus bucks.. -_-" whoosh.. aniwae i tink i spent near to 50bucks todae larhz..budden it was super fun ymy.. hahaz..=) yj rox.. rox rox.. aniwae.. veri pek chek juz nw.. realised lots of things bout pple.. i was super buzz wif the speech dae things juz nw.. coz a lotta uncertain stuff.. den pple keep smsing mi asking bou things den i couldn reply all.. n dey cont'd smsing again n again.. n mi hp inbox going to bao zha.. n seriously.. i was super super super frustrated juz nw.. coz info was like blur blur.. frm the snrs.. aniwae its fine le.. hope things go well tomoro

2005-03-29T06:16:00.000-08:00

I like u.. budden i don have the courage to tell u.. i wan u to noe dat i like u yet i fear dat we carn even b frenz bcoz of dis.. so wad shld i do.. i have no idea. i can juz cont'd liking u liddat.. wad else can i do.. lurve.. such an impt part of pple's life.. yet can cause great happiness or torture.. 4get it.. mayb i shld juz give up liddat.. i seriously detest dis feeling.. its tormenting.. yet i carn show it n all i can do is to lie in bed every nite n tink of u.. in the fers place.. i din even noe y i fell for u n i failed to realised ur importance to mi.. all i can hope is dat.. one dae.. u will realise dat i have always liked u.. n dat we can still b frenz no matter wad..

2005-03-29T05:11:00.000-08:00

I'm super sorrie.. i reallie mean it larhz.. i din mean anithing seriously.. it wasn on purpose.. coz i was kinda xin qing bu hao actly so i din reply to ur messages.. =P let's juz go out on fri n catch a movie k.. don angry k.. i reallie feel super paiseh nw lahz..

Aniwae.. i have gotten the flu bug.. keep a distance frm mi.. woohoo.. i came baq home.. did all the written assignments.. den i felt super tired.. den mi eyes super teary.. so i slept lorhz.. slept for 3hours.. den woke up.. mi eyes red.. having dry cough.. thx to ber n rae.. wahahahaz.. coz during recess i was mixing wif the both of dem.. den after skool i was wif bernice for bout 2hours... n she was like wanting to sneeze the whole nose red.. teary eyes.. aniwae i feel so great nw.. i have a strong immunity system.. =) i juz still feel sleepy n mi nose a litle blocked.. hahaz.. n a little bit of dry cough..

Sum1.. help mi wif the bk review.. i don c the pt of doing it in the fers place.. aniwae i gt to get it done sumhow bax.. i feel so dead nw.. argh.. y muz i go baq on speech dae.. wad a great dae to chill out n seriously lorhz.. yesterdae one by one mani of dem wanted to fall out.. i was rather shocked wen xujie fainted ymy.. den sum of the guys lian qing chun bai.. even all dose veri strong n tough ones.. =P.. aniwae takkaire larhz.. hopefully one dat dae the sun won b so strong n we haven plenty of water to drink..

2005-03-28T07:21:00.000-08:00

Yeah... i juz felt like blogging one laz time for todae.. its half an hour more to 12.. i was supposed to off the com at 10plus.. den i was doing n doing the art dat more den an hour juz ticked by liddat.. n mi artwork is totally disgusting seriously.. i made the outline of one teeny weeny part for more den bout 30mins.. dis is SIAOZ.. n i managed to ignore mq's incessant toking to mi lorhz.. n i managed to change mi status to "away" n reallie i din chat at all..(i ignored mq).. isn't dat great.. i'm am so easily happi over dis small achievement.. hmmz.. i juz dare nt admit i like u.. wad will happen in the end? no1 noes.. aniwae u pple out dere.. bliff mi.. seriously lorhz.. i already admit i like AYS budden dat one is LAZ TIME.. already give up le.. if nver give up i will dare to admit merhz? mi words make great sense larhz.. juz bliff it.. the person i like nw is super diff to guess.. budden gt 3pple noe? yeah.. mi 3 true frenz in DHS.. hehez.. n i seriously tink i need more motivation.. more energy.. coz i feel so sleepy nw.. wad the blardy heck ymy.. ok.. gtg.. n Mabel.. i seriously admire ur attitude.. Takkaire mi gal.. bb...

2005-03-28T05:24:00.000-08:00

Woosh.. todae a kinda great dae althou veri veri tiring.. aniwae let mi briefly tok bout todae during lessons.. had mani encounters wif the teachers.. aniwae.. h.e. test was shit larhz.. i practically forgot everything n the whole test went haywire wen i went scribbling stuff which i dun even noe wad is dat.. aniwae it is terrible.. i may fail it.. nvm.. take things easi.. n woosh.. mi maths test.. results cum baq... LIKE SHIT ARH... got of the paper she still put gd.. shes siao manz.. 21.5 still can put gd.. got dunno how mani million pple scored full mrks.. aniwae i gonna BUCK UP 4 all mi subjects.. aniwae i learnt sumthing.. coz in term 1 i gave mislef a lotta prsesure n had veri high xpectations.. n at the same time i was optimistic n driven.. so i did quite well in most of the stuf.. den once i bcum pessimistic.. waa.. all the negative stuff i sae all cum true.. poof larhz.. i muz b optimistic ymy.. history n chinese test cuming up.. i gonna jia you for it no matter how tired i am.. juz stay optimistic n u will nt feel so tired.. n speech dae thing was standing dere doing nth.. the guard of honour pple so poor thing.. n seriously lorhz.. their drill is a thousand million times better den Scouts, SJAB, GG.. n Yuelin sir was still screaming at them.. n Eepin sir.. SEH MANZ..hes a great timer ymy.. i lurve his attitude ymy.. =) aniwae.. i juz gonna forget bout all the terrible mrks i am getting all the slipshod work i have handed in n do mi bez in everything i can nw.. realised dat i got a lotta undone NP reports piling up.. mi skoolwork n proj piling up higher den others.. woosh.. budden nvm bax.. =)=) n i decided nt to commit so much to SC n NP.. i don care larhz.. by hook or by crook i muz cum home st after skool frm nw on for at least 3 daes a wk.. pon wadsoever hecky stuff.. i juz give a stupid excuse jiu ke yi le.. dis is kinda jian larhz.. budden studies mi fers priority.. n i need mi beauty sleep u noe.. aniwae.. speech dae.. i tink i fidget a lot.. b4 the parade.. parade i din move larhz.. budden b4 parade.. i was wriggling n wriggling mi legs.. stretching mi hands.. coz i scared i faint.. den mi soles veri bu shu fu coz stick to the ground so long le ymy.. aniwae.. takkaire peeps.. n i don care wadever hecky assignments i have handed in recently.. wad matters is in the future ymy.. STAY HAPPI..

2005-03-27T03:23:00.000-08:00

Tot bout a whole of stuff.. i wondered bout mi life.. compared to mani others.. it's nt at all pathetic.. i din despised mi life at all.. i juz tot n tot.. y am i living.. wad was the meaning of life.. i tot bout the mani sad things in mi life.. how mi father died.. everything dat happened to mi.. it juz brought tears mi eyes.. until nw i can still remember 5 yrs ago.. how he left mi.. he din sae anithing.. he couldn even tok.. n i cld do was to sit by his side n watch him leave us.. after dat.. life had a 180 degrees change.. everything chanegd.. i matured quite a bit after dat incident.. n mani things happened.. we changed baq our religion.. everything.. it din matter.. all dese don matter to mi nw.. seriously.. i juz wondered if mi mum left mi as well.. wad wld happen to mi.. i dunno.. mani things in mi life dat is sadistic.. mi onli glisten of hope in life is him.. nw its him.. to mi.. sum of mi frenz don make ani difference to mi life.. wifout dem i will survive.. thou dey r the one hu add colours to mi life.. i don mind leading a quiet life on mi own.. a quiet life on mi own wifout ani1 caring bout mi.. his presence added light to mi life.. gave mi hope to carry on.. despite mi nt wanting to carry on dis meaningless life.. i dunno y i am toking bout all dese.. wad r frenz.. i don mind nt having ani frenz.. wen i'm truly sad.. no1 seems to unds how i feel.. no1 seems to b truly dere for mi.. wads the pt.. i wld rather juz go thru everything alone.. at least i noe he's dere.. n hes the person i trust.. he doesn noe i like him.. i guess he will nver find out till i tell him.. wen will i ever muster dat courage to tell u? i have no idea.. i juz noe i juz wanna study.. i dowan tink bout ani other stuff bsides dese two stuff.. sec. 2 sqd is meaningless to mi.. wads dere hyprocriticy all bout.. wads the pt of working hard for onli dat promotion.. i c no pt.. i don mind being stripeless.. wads the pt of finding small faults in pple n toking bad behind their baq.. jealousy.. competitiveness..baqstabbers.. wads the fake enthuness for.. juz for a stripe.. great.. u got ur stripe.. nobody saw thru ur fakeness..
All i noe i'm working hard in NP coz i juz wanna perform mi duty well.. u r mi sqdmates after all n most importantly i noe how much the snrs r upset by us wen our performance r slipshod.. i dowan dem to b unhappi.. i dowan their hopes pinned on us to b dashed.. dey r mi onli source of motivation to work hard.. i'm nt working hard for the promotion.. i juz wan to do mi bez for dem.. for miself.. i dowan to let miself down.. i juz wan to keep quiet in wadever i c nw.. u all don c the pt dat arguing n trying too hard to lead for the stripe is nt frm the bottom of ur heart.. u might find nth wrong wif it.. well.. its ur choice.. its juz mi own opinion.. wad i feel.. aniwae.. juz cotinue to b enthu.. the choice is up to u all.. if u wanna b enthu for the well being of the sqd.. for urself most imptly n nt for the promotion.. truly dats all i hafta sae.. do it for ur flaming passion for NP.. being i have no rite to sae anithing.. coz i'm juz another useless freak in NP.. budden nvm.. i juz wanna sae wad i c.. n wad i have kept in mi heart since ages ago.. i do it for the snrs.. yupp.. its cheap i noe.. budden i juz dowan to let the snrs down.. dey mean alotta to mi.. i don c the reason y muz we make dem upset coz of our lousy atrocious performance.. i'm juz suk in anithing.. budden at the veri least i noe i'm doing mi bez..
Its stil mi life after all.. if i choose to live it wif optimism life wld mi much better.. i was given a chance to live.. i shld live it to the fullest..y shld b unhappi over meaningless matters.. i was given the chance to live to change other pple's lives.. make a diference to their lives.. to b dere for dose hu need mi.. to lend a helping hand to dose in need.. to treasure mi life n make sure dat i don live in regret.. god gave mi unhappiness for mi to mature.. experiences which changed mi perspective towards life.. taught mi lessons which made mi learn to treasure every single person ard mi.. to forget bout all the unhappiness n juz treat dem nicely regardless of wad i was unhappi wif dem.. we shldn give up on ourselves.. to yong cheng.. ur mum is suffering.. everyone ard u is hurt.. including ur frenz teachers.. don give up on urself.. life is short.. u were given a chance to live.. no matter how despondent life can get.. carry on wif life.. treasure it.. don live to regret.. ur were ur mum's glisten of hope.. u gave her the strength n energy to carry on.. y muz u give up on urself.. torture urself n make dose ard u suffer.. we will alwaes b dere for u wen u need us.. we promise.. dats all i hafta sae.. live life wif optimism.. n seriusly treasure every each n every single person ard u.. u might lose dem one dae.. forget bout all the unhappiness.. don realise their importance onli after losing dem.. =)

2005-03-26T22:37:00.000-08:00

i finally decided to work hard.. n don cum online at nite le.. onli if i got assignments to do.. n i will set mi status to busy.. ooh.. i have bcum guai.. yays.. hahaz.. i learnt dese two words frm yun jing.. DABIAN.. wa laoz.. i tink i don cum online i study in mi room.. within one hr.. i wil "PLORP" u c mi sleeping soundly on mi bed.. wahahahaz..=) aniwae ji dan larhz.. i am liddat de.. budden i can onli cum online at 10pm i swear.. especially dese few wks getting more n more buzz.. wif NP now.. den after NP finish SC cum.. POOM.. WISH MI THE BEZ OF LUCK.. hahaz.. wadever the blardy heck.. i still eft wif 3 more chapt of H.E. i muz Jiayou.. 2B pals.. jiayou too.. everyone is mugging hard for it.. all the bez.. =). hmmz.. u suddenly smsed mi dis morning to ask mi bout H.E. test. wads the meaning of dis i was wondering.. n in the afternoon u suddenly smsed mi n toked bout weicheng n wished mi happy easter's dae.. wad a great change of attitude.. aniwae.. i better siam b4 i flunk mi test.=) bb

2005-03-26T02:33:00.000-08:00

hmmz.. wad r frenZ? dey were the ones added colours to ur life.. the ones hu brightened up ur dae.. cheered u up wen u were down.. seemed to b alwaes dere for u wen u needed dem.. yeah.. dey were dere for mi wen i needed dem.. budden y muz pple make life so complicated for demselves.. make things difficult for pple ard dem as well as demselves.. y muz dey torture demselves n torture others at the same time? i don unds bax.. wad was the meaning of slamming down the fone wen i called to check if u were ok.. forget it if u don give a damn bout mi concern.. budden i'm nt involved in it.. y muz u pull mi in oso.. i din even have a part of it in the fers place.. y muz u make everyone so unhappi bout u.. i was telling miself notta dislike u.. u were mi gd frenz frm the beginning.. till nw.. i still treat u as 1.. budden don take mi for granted.. don take pple ard u for granted.. u r losing dem 1 by 1 bcoz u do nt treasure dem.. u treat dem as rubbish.. u make use of pple to get high mrks.. results mean the world to u.. u will resort ot anithing to get high mrks.. n wad blardy rite do u have to sae dat u do nt have ani true frenz.. while i'm saeing all dese.. i'm truly hurt.. by everything ard mi.. frenship hasn been a prob for mi dis yr.. budden i suddenly feel veri depressed bout everything ard mi.. the despondence.. everything.. i feel dat i'm left in the world all alone.. no1 seems to unds how i feel.. frenz is a prob.. love is a prob..
Y do we have to feel depressed wenever we like a person.. for wadever heck reason..i dunno bax..i juz tink life sux..for the reallie veri fers time.. i feel despondent..depressed..n i feel like i'm left all alone.. mi heart is sinking.. mi soul is empty..dere seem to b no meaning in life suddenly.. i nver wanted to find 1 n juz lived life liddat.. i chose nt to tink bout it.. sumtymes u carn juz escape the clutches of fate.. u have to tink bout it sumdae..u will nver ever guess dat i like u..n if i had a choice i wld have chosen nt to like u.. i wld rather enjoy the life of nt liking ani1.. i'm a weakling.. a coward.. i wan to tell u how i feel coz i feel depressed budden i don have the courage.. i am juz escaping.. i carn let nature take its course.. its easi to sae.. u like means u like.. don ilke means don like.. wad if u like dat person n wish to give up.. wadever wld u do.. I SIMPLY DON C A MEANING IN LIFE NW... IN WADEVER DO NW.. i c pple steading.. sum of dem flirting.. budden i bliff dat sum of dem r serious.. bliff mi or nt.. i bliff in steading while studying.. dey dunnid to hug kis.. juz simple dating wif holding hands is ok manz.. dey can care for each other.. give each other moral support.. wadever dey sae we are immature or wadever blardy heck of nt noeing the meaning of true love.. i don bliff in it.. wads wrong wif two persons being together if dey truly like each other.. n if dey r serious bout the relationship y carn dey juz go for it.. lifes short.. y don enjoy in the stuff u wanna do.. rather den juz seeking good results.. wad if u died tomoro.. u wld definitely live to regret.. of nt having been able to have a taste of being in lurve.. wadever it is.. i jzu don feel good.. life sux perhaps.. y muz i smile to every1 i c wen deep inside i'm feeling horrid.. life still goes on.. dey sae live it to the fullest n mayb i wld choose to live it happily.. in life.. dere r dese unhappy times i'm going thru nw.. mani things i wonder.. mani things i don unds.. mani things i wanna noe.. mani things i feel.. will u noe how i feel towards u one dae?

2005-03-25T21:07:00.000-08:00

Finally changed mi template.. yays... hmmz.. mi resting a while coz i studied for h.e. for bout 2hrs le. =) n i onli completed one n 1/8 units.. POOM... nvm.. man man lai ymy.. coz i tink the most i stay up late tonite since i feeling quite great todae.. i actly dreamt of him(NT AYS).. a veir super duper long dream.. i dreamt bout a lotta things.. i still can kinda remember wad happened in mi dreams.. thou nt all.. n the song played on mi blog was the one we sang in march laz yr during our squad's swearing in ceremony.. COOL lorhz.. niam niam niam.. actly dose hu din get into supporting contingent. nvm k.. n pleasee lorhz.. those hu got in don go saying. O I GOT IN.. YAY I'M SO HAPPI.. how will dose hu din get in feel.. u can sae it privately larhz.. don sae it in frnt of dem.. its kinda bad to do dat u noe.. n i already saw sum1 put it in the nick.. walaoz.. i find miself super duper lazy sia.. apples wadever yummy fruits.. i lazy to take.. den mi mum alwaes cut it den give mi. =P n the earhole on mi rite hurts like hell.. i suppose deres infection le. coz mi mum was trying to pluck out the earing.. so painful.. she use so much strength the earing dowan cum out.. den i go take out miself later.. can lorhz.. i couldn put it baz. coz the needle stuck in the middle. .cannot find the hole at the botttom.. den i push n push.. i suppose i created another hole.. so blardy painful. =( den i wanted to take out the earing n let it close up by itself dis morning.. no matter how hard i pull.. carn pull out le.. POOM.. hahaz.. n sel's MP3 player rox.. i wan 1 too. mi mum don mind getting one for mi.. budden i lazy to download songs.. coz i tink its damn mafan.. n mq the fers guy to agree go watch movie wif mi.. hehez.. i tink i go out wif him after speech dae dat thing bax.. =).. i wan sel to cum along.. n yesterdae while chatting wif Aik Siong.. realised dat thou we may b gd frenz n i can share wif him mani things.. our tinkings n perspective towards mani stuff r quite different.. =P.. gd frenz dunnid share mani things in common i guess.. sumtymes mysteriously even thou dere r quite a no. of differences.. i can tell him stuff dat i don even tell dose frenz hu r mi gd frenz n can reallie unds mi.. wadever it is... read mi previous entries k.. no pt quarreling wif frenz.. getting upset wif one another.. disliking one another.. treasure each other.. dat person's life is impt to u.. wad if dat person juz disappeared frm skool like YC.. i dare to swear u will regret disliking n getting upset wif him or her.. juz treasure each n every single person ard u.. don live to regret k.. dats all.. stay happi. =)

2005-03-25T01:37:00.000-08:00

Niam niam niam.. shld i sae i have straightened out mi tinkings.. great.. frenship.. a lotta stuff i juz cong cong er guo nowadays.. coz in the class.. dey treat mi nice.. dey have nver baqstabbed mi b4.. or did anithing nasty to mi.. so i was nice to dem.. thou i have heard frm pple how dey were nasty to the rest.. n i sincerely treated dem as mi good frenz.. i shall b frank bax.. towards dis couple of dem.. i do nt reallie like or dislike dem.. i juz have a sense of uncomfortableness wen i'm wif dem.. n u can sae dat i try to keep a distance frm dem.. aniwae.. its onli two of dem.. so i don reallie care bout it ymy.. ~smileZ~ life rox ymy.. y shld we get stressed out of skool n CCA.. find the meaning of life n will naturally oso find the wae to happiness n satisfaction.. life is short.. wad u have todae may nt b ard tomoro.. so.. the conclusion is TREASURE EVERY SINGLE PERSON ARD U.. DON LIVE TO REGRET. n more imptly.. hmmz.. i am quite sure i like him le bax.. hehez.. i decided dis time dat i will let nature takes its course.. i don nt have the courage to confess mi feelings bax.. i will rather leave things liddis.. dowan to get troubled over the affairs of heart.. =) budden one thing's for sure is dat.. hes alwaes on mi mind.. POOM.. i sound so mushy.. aniwae... sports dae was great ymy.. watching the gals put layers n layers of sunblock lotion i din.. i wasn afraid of gettting sun burnt coz i wanna get tanned.. n after adt.. mi n ber walked to kallang mrt station..went to TM looked ard.. den ate at Pastamania.. yummy their pasta.. n i went to white sands to pierce mi ear.. it hurt quite a bit at fers.. ber was freaked out.. n she still wans a 2nd hole.. one hole is enuff for mi... =) its wasted if i don pierce ymy.. coz i received sum earrings as bdae presents lorzh.. aud's PW grp is gonna set up a stall selling earrings.. n their earrings look fab ymy.. den we walked ard.. i managed to tink bout loads of stuff.. n i finally decided on one thing.. excluding sqd n class outing. i will nt go out in more den a grp of 3 le.. coz i feeel dat all dese while go out wif a bunch of peeps.. i get so tired coz i'm entertaining dem.. doing wad dey like.. nt mi own.. coz i don give comments i juz follow wad dey do.. -_-" aniwae.. I got into the speech dae contingent thing.. YAY.. we muz jia you ymy.. don let the snrs down.. =) =) =).. n ani nice person out dere hu don mind watching ani movie wif mi. i have no opinion on the movie.. but the companion.. tell mi k.. if its a guy its better ymy.. deres more stuff to tok bout.. yesh.. hehez.. bb..

2005-03-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

Hmmz... i was unhappi wif a no. of stuff todae.. no. 1.. i was totally pissed off wif dose pple hu juz threw the files at Le-anne.. she was at her seat.. u all threw one by one todae.. nver aim properly drop on the floor.. nvm.. n u xpect her to pick it up one by one.. n i reallie kan le buay tahan.. i went to sae.. u all treat her as wad.. shes nt ur maid ok.. shes nt obliged to help u all.. coz u were the ones hu handed in late.. n for home econs.. if dey hand in stuff mi to late.. dats the prob.. i will ask dem to put in the teacher's locker demselves.. she nice enuff to collect the sc files for u all n u all treat her liddat.. WADS THE BLARDY PROB WIF U PPLE.. U ALL JUZ TAKE THINGS 4 GRANTED.. I WAS SO PISSED DAT I GOT DAT REALLIE ANGRY LOOK ON MI FACE.. Jasvin was kinda shocked bax.. no. 2.. PW.. i was told of sum stuff by Bernice n Zhiqian.. hmmz.. its their prob if dey wanna copy.. den later angel quite unhappy.. den later their product.. yiwei went to c if dey really copy.. den it bore the same concept.. den she bcame unhappi..den at fers i was the most bs.. dey over dere paying attention n being angry.. i waas dere relaxing.. shaking leg n reading newspapers.. hahaz.. poofie poof.. den later hmmz.. after listening to wad dey said i was a little unhappi.. n went to tink how complicated things can b.. n wen i saw how 1 of dem still bhaved despite wad dey have done.. i was kinda pissed.. n i gave her dat look.. den later poof.. that pissedness gone le.. n zhiqian said dat i seemed reallie locked in tots in the world of mi own nowadays.. n dey reallie missed mi bouncy self.. WAHAHAHAHAHAHZ.. den i juz reallie merhz... den i juz ok lorhz.. sum pple sae i nt as crazy as b4 le.. bbudden.. i can don yawn during lesson after everydae sleep at near 2am is nubbad le ymy.. where do i have the energy to b energised n bouncy to dem.. laff n laff all the time wen i have to do well in CCA n studies at the same time.. n mi hair is the centre of attraction.. POOF.. pple laffing at mi wen i walk past dem.. dats their prob larhz.. budden i tink i gonna do something bout it ymy.. coz i let down.. its damn blardy messy.. i tie.. its neat in frnt.. terrible at the baq.. nt mi fualt ymy.. coz mi hair is bu chang bu duan.. wad u xpect mi to do.. woosh.. i c 2A pple laffing at mi wen i go to the toilet.. i gt so mani nicknames nw.. cool.. n chinese lesson i was reallie RUDE.. coz the gong han she put sumthing to trick us.. den i went to sae.. LI LAO SHI.. NI HEN JIAN4(CHEAP) LERHZ. waa.. i sae le.. i was like O GAWD..how did the hell i sae dat.. budden nvm.. i forgive miself.. coz i was seriously pissed at dat time.. den later mi, rach, shunjie n weicheng took Mrs HO's car to Yongcheng's house.. took a huge blardy long time to find his house.. find the block.. n mi n weicheng bickered in the car.. he is so damn qian bian manz.. i seriously hated him at dat time.. den later no le.. i shan sae wad happened.. dis part is CENSORED. woots.. u wanna find out.. b a 2B fellow find out frm mi tomoro.. onli thing.. MRS HO WAS UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED.. WEICHENG CRIED.. MI N RACHEL N SHUNJIE WERE HELPLESS N JUZ TOKED N TOKED TO HIM.. DATS IT.. the rest of it.. find out frm us tomoro.. N PLEASEE.. AFTER FINDING OUT.. DON SPREAD TO OTHER CLASSES K.. DIS THING HAS ENUFF PUBLICITY LE... thx a lot.. weicheng is reallie a great fren.. mi opinion of him seriously changed a lot after 1plus yr.. at least i din like him for no reason in P6 ymy.. i got nubbad taste.. his character nubbad larhz.. nt veri gd.. buddne hes compassionate, caring, kind thou can b seriously violent at times.. frm todaes thing i realised dat no matter wad TREASURE EACH N EVERYTHING ARD U. don live to regret. i c yongcheng's mother.. i feel kinda sad for her as well.. wen i told mi mum.. she actly cried. alamak.. i tink she unds bax.. n we went to KFC to eat xcluding weicheng wif Mrs Ho.. Mrs Ho treated us.. n the three of shared saliva.. den Mrs Ho din wan coz she found it unhygenic.. den mi drink finish le.. i took shun jie's drnik..drank frm his straw.. dats wad uniformed grp pple do ymy.. den Mrs Ho was SHOCKED.. wads the big deal ymy.. den i went home.. we did catwalking outside simei MRT station.. n i got a severe lecture frm mi mum wen i got home.. o gawd.. somebody saw mi n sel at cafe n actly COMPLAINED TO HER.. dat we were toking n chatting rather den doing.. o gawd. n the worst thing is dat wen dat cafe guy treated us to chicken wings dat person oso went to complain to mi mum.. waa..terrible scolding sia.. she tok frm dat thing tok until NUS gal throw baby down flat n got life imprisonment.. den she started toking bout responsibilities.. started crying herself.. nt fers time larhz.. budden dis time she too exxagerating le.. i nt affected dis time.. coz on mi bdae dat time was much worse ymy.. at fers i tot it was frm mi blog..den i tot i din mention bout treating thin in mi blog ymy.. so shldn b.. but if reallie rite.. i tink i gonna move again.. wahahahz.. kaes.. i tink i better stop blogging le.. bb.